Top 10 Baseball games I ever attended: #8

August 30, 1996: Braves vs. Cubs

T1: A. Jones 1-3, Mordecai 2B, Chipper 3-1, McGriff K
B1: McRae 1B, Bullett 1B, Grace 4-3, L. Gonzalez P4, Magadan 4-3
(Cubs 1, Braves 0)

If Dolberry was going to draw up his perfect day, there's a good chance it would involve sitting in the warm August Wrigley shade beside the beautiful KMD taking in a doubleheader of baseball.

T2: Klesko 3B, Dye 4-3, J. Lopez 2B, Lemke 4-3, Bielecki K
B2: Houston 6-3, Hernandez 1-3, Haney F7
(Braves 1, Cubs 1)

The Cubs had beaten Tom Glavine 3-2 on a game-winning single by Ryne Sandberg in the first game of the now-rare baseball BOGO. The first game took only 2:13. Dolberry has a lousy memory, but I can distinctly remember holding hands w/ tbKMD while sitting down the 1st base line on this late-summer Friday afternoon.

T3: A. Jones P4, Mordecai 6-3, Chipper K
B3: Bullinger K, McRae HR, Bullett K, Grace 1B, Gonzalez F7
(Cubs 2, Braves 1)

Talking about leadoff guys in yesterday's game, can anyone believe Andruw Jones used to be a leadoff man? In August 1996, he was a slender 19 year old and in his first month in the big leagues and was maybe the biggest prospect of all time. In January 2008, the Dodgers signed him to a two-year, 36 million deal and he responded by hitting .158 in over 200 ABs. In January 2009, the Dodgers released him (gently, presumably, given the tectonic situation in SoCal). One scout said of him, "He looked like he was at a church picnic and could not care less about what was going on." Too much success at the cake wheel it appears.

T4: McGriff E6, Klesko F9, Dye K, Lopez 1B, Lemke E6, Bielecki 1B, A. Jones 4-3
B4: Magadan F9, Houston 1B, Hernandez K, Haney 6-3
(Cubs 2, Braves 2)

The nice thing about old scorecards is all the little notations in the book, some about the game, some not. In this one, tbKMD wrote "tbKMD [heart] Dolberry". (She didn't really use our blog code names, but it was still sweet.)

T5: Mordecai 1B, Chipper 1B, McGriff 4-3, Klesko 6-3, Dye K
B5: Hubbard K, McRae F8, Bullett 1-3
(Braves 3, Cubs 2)

It's worth noting that APD was at this game as well, though his seats were the ultimate "obstructed view". At that time of his life, we called him "Lil' Chipper" after Chipper Jones who was one of my favorite players at the time. (I still like ol' Larry Wayne Jones ... he's a great player.) He was one of my favorites at the time because he was one of my first Rotisserie baseball "finds". A "find" is a guy you identify when he's young and you lock him in at a cheap price before the whole world knows about him. My new "find" for those who care is Pablo Sandoval of the Giants. Let's be thankful we're past childbearing years ... Lil' Pablo doesn't sound quite the same.

T6: Lopez 1B, Lemke 6-3, Bielecki K, A. Jones K
B6: Grace 4-3, Gonzalez 1B, Magadan 1B, Servais F9, Hernandez K
(Braves 3, Cubs 2)

Even if you don't like baseball ... (Be gone heathen!) one can still enjoy the food you can get at the ballpark. I usually keep it simple. In Wrigley, Dolberry usually got a brat (or two) and a soda. On a warm day, that'd usually be followed by ice cream in one of those collectible helmets. Mmmmmmmm .... ice cream helmets .

T7: Mordecai HR, Chipper 5-3, McGriff 1B, Klesko 6-4-3
B7: Haney BB, Kieschnieck 1B, McRae BB, Bullett K, Grace K, Gonzalez 3B, Magadan K.
(Cubs 5, Braves 4)

One of the best traditions about Wrigley Field was Harry Carey singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" during the 7th inning stretch. Whenever the Cubs were behind he'd close the song w/ a lusty entreaty ... "Let's Get Some Runs!!!". Luis Gonzalez obliged him here w/ the go-ahead, bases-juiced triple.

T8: Dye F9, Lopez K, Lemke 6-3
B8: Servais 1B, Hernandez Sac, Haney 6-3, Gomez 4-3
(Cubs 5, Braves 4)

In Dolberry's opinion (hey it's my blog), there may not be a more overrated position in all of sports than that of the closer in baseball. The Reds are paying Francisco Cordero 48 million just because he's pitched in the 9th inning of games before. Jared Burton would perform just as well for 1/10th the money. That said, the closers decided this game. Check out Bob Patterson (Cubs) vs. Mark Wohlers (Braves) in his prime.

T9: Pendleton 1B, A. Jones E6, Mordecai P2, Chipper 1B, McGriff BB, Grissom SF9, Dye K
B9: McRae K, Bullett K, Grace K!

Final: Braves 6, Cubs 5

Top 10 Baseball games I ever attended: #9

October 12th, 1993: Blue Jays vs. White Sox

T1: Henderson K, D. White 1B, Alomar FC, Carter F9
B1: Raines F7, Cora K, Thomas F8
(Blue Jays 0, White Sox 0)

This game is Game 6 of the ALCS. I remember spending the better part of one Saturday morning calling and calling Ticketmaster trying to get Sox playoff tickets ... in the pre-Internet days ... getting nothing but a busy signal for over an hour before finally getting through. We paid $40 each for two upper box tickets at new Comiskey. I believe this is still the most Dolberry has ever paid for a ticket to any sort of sporting event, though pretty soon Spring Training games will cost that much.

T2: Olerud BB, Molitor HBP, T. Fernandez 1-3, Sprague BB, Borders 1B, Henderson FC, White 4-3.
B2: Ventura BB, Burks P4, Newson 4-3, L Johnson 3U.
(Jays 2, Sox 0)

The starting pitchers for this matchup were superb. Toronto sent Dave Stewart to the hill while Chicago countered with Alex Fernandez. Stewart was a few years removed from his dominating stint w/ the A's in the late 80's, but he had bested Fernandez just 6 days earlier in Game 2 of this ALCS. Alex Fernandez had an awesome 1993, 18-9 w/ a 3.13 ERA, but it was overshadowed somewhat by "Blackjack" McDowell's 22 win Cy Young performance. At the time, as a Sox fan, I remember thinking Fernandez had a really bright career ahead of him. As it turned out, his best season was 1993 as a 24-year old.

T3: Alomar 4-3, Carter P3, Olerud P2
B3: Lavailliere P5, Guillen 2B, Raines 1B, Cora HBP, Thomas BB, Ventura FC, Burks 5-3
(Jays 2, Sox 2)

1993 was probably the year tbKMD and I watched the most baseball games. We lived right downtown in these apartments (where GMa Karen once had popcorn AFTER eating 4 desserts) and it was really simple to get to either Comiskey or Wrigley. tbKMD was just a few months from getting her PhD and Dolberry was working out at LADCO. Those were carefree days ... very few responsibilities ... no kid, no mortgage, didn't even own a car. We got pretty emotionally invested in the Sox that year.

T4: Molitor E5, Fernandez F8, Sprague 1B, Borders FC/E4, Henderson 3-1
B4: Newson 4-3, Johnson L3, Lavalliere 5-3
(Jays 3, Sox 2)

This was the Sox first playoff appearance since 1983 and only their second since 1959, so there were a lot of rabid Sox fans that year. It was a full house despite temperatures in the mid-40s. The Jays had won the first two games of the series in Chicago, but then the "good guys" bounced back to take the next two to even the series. The Jays had beaten McDowell in Game 5, so this was an elimination game for the Sox.

T5: White 1B, Alomar 1B, Carter K, Olerud P5, Molitor BB, Fernandez P4
B5: Guillen P5, Raines BB, Cora F9, Thomas K
(Jays 3, Sox 2)

The top 3 vote getters in the 1993 AL MVP batted that past inning. #3 Olerud, #2 Molitor, #1 The Big Hurt. Frank Thomas was an awesome player in the mid 1990's. In 1994, he had a Barry Bonds like season w/o the bloated perjuring head (.492 on base % and 38 HRs in a park that favored pitchers). The Big Hurt is still trying to catch on w/ someone for 2009 ... he may be forced to retire ... sentimental ol' Dolberry would like to see him get another year.

T6: Sprague K, Borders 2B, Henderson F7, White K
B6: Ventura F9, Burks 1B, Newson K, Johnson 4-3
(Jays 3, Sox 2)

This game featured two of the best leadoff hitters of all time: Rickey Henderson and Tim "Rock" Raines. Both were on the Hall of Fame ballot this year and Henderson got in w/ 95% of the vote, but surprisingly Raines only got 22% support (you need 75% to get in). He'll get in eventually as new guard voters (who appreciate what a lifetime .385 on base percentage means to an offense) replace the ones who only care about HRs.

T7: Alomar F9, Carter F8, Olerud 1B, Molitor K
B7: Lavailliere BB, Guillen Sac, Raines L4 (DP)
(Jays 3, Sox 2)

The Southside fans were getting restless by this point. tbKMD was surprised by the fact that the White Sox supporters were booing their boys after a 94 win season appeared to be coming to end. I guess when you haven't won a single playoff series since 1917, patience & goodwill aren't your strong suits. This was the last year before the current wild-card playoff format came into effect. Unlike interleague play, I correctly tagged that as a bad idea when it happened. Does anybody really get fired up for a divisional series playoff game?

T8: Fernandez F8, Sprague P4, Borders 1-3
B8: Cora F7, Thomas 1B, Ventura K, Burks K
(Jays 3, Sox 2)

By the time the 9th inning ended, tbKMD & Dolberry were one of the few fans left in the stadium. As you will see it didn't end well. The Blue Jays went on to win the World Series over the Phillies on a walkoff Joe Carter HR. The White Sox would get their World Series in 2005 when their 1993 SS (Ozzie Guillen) was their manager. Dolberry and tbKMD went on to live happily ever after, although we haven't been to a playoff game since.

T9: Henderson 1-3, White HR, Alomar F8, Carter 1B, Olerud E4, Molitor 3B, Fernandez F8
B9: Newson HR, Johnson BB, Karkovice K, Guillen F9, Raines F9.

Final: Jays 6, Sox 3

Top 10 Baseball games I ever attended: #10

July 1st, 1997: Royals vs. Cubs

T1: Goodwin 4-3, J. Bell F9, J. Damon K
B1: Glanville 1B, McRae 2B, Grace 1B, Sosa 2B, Dunston 1B, Sandberg SF-7, Hernandez 6-4-3.
(Cubs 4, Royals 0)

In Dolberry's opinion the three best things about Chicago are how pretty Lake Michigan looks on a crisp summer day, Giordano's pizza, and Wrigley Field. So, in our last month in Chicagoland it was time to drag APD out to the Friendly Confines.

T2: J King 6-3, J. Dye 4-3, C. Paquette K
B2: Hubbard F9, F. Castillo 3-1, Glanville PO-2
(Cubs 4, Royals 0)

Remember thinking at the time that it was weird that APD's first game would be an interleague matchup. It seems like there's been interleague play for forever, but 1997 was the first year for it. I remember thinking it was a bad idea at the time, but in retrospect I have to grudgingly admit error on that one. I kind of enjoy interleague games now. From a fantasy baseball perspective, it's nice to have 15 games to track instead of 8.

T3: Fasano K, Howard 1B, Rusch E5, Goodwin 2B, Bell BB, Damon P6, King P5.
B3: McRae F8, Grace 1B, Sosa K, Dunston 1B, Sandberg 2B, Hernandez 6-3
(Cubs 5, Royals 1)

We were excited that Glendon Rusch was pitching for the Royals, because we had "seen" him pitch a no-hitter a few seasons earlier at a Single A game against the Kane County Cougars. It still is the only no-hitter I've ever "seen". Seen is in quotation marks because we were in the standing room section of a huge Sunday crowd for that little ballpark and I actually couldn't see Rusch from where we were, but it was cool to be there. Glendon did not fare as well in this one, lasting only 6 innings.

T4: Dye L5, Paquette 5-3, Fasano 5-3
B4: Hubbard F7, Castillo F9, Glanville HR, McRae F8
(Cubs 6, Royals 1)

Doug Glanville had to be one of the smartest players in MLB. He's one of only 5 Penn graduates to play in the bigs. Seemed like a nice guy.

T5: Howard 1B, Rusch K, Goodwin F9, Bell 6-3
B5: Grace F8, Sosa 6-3, Dunston 1B, Sandberg F8
(Cubs 6, Royals 1)

I remember it being a beautiful Tuesday afternoon. Our scorecard says 80 degrees yet there were only 18,745 in attendance. Nowadays, that's a sure sellout for the Cubs. Attendance in 1997 was 2.1 million. The next year was the steroid-fueled run on Maris' record and no year since 1997 has drawn less than 2.6 mil at Wrigley. The last 5 seasons have all been over 3 million.

T6: Damon 1B, King F9, Dye 3U (DP)
B6: Hernandez BB, Hubbard 4-6-3, Castillo 4-3
(Cubs 6, Royals 1)

You may or may not know this but President Obama is a big White Sox fan. I think this can only help the SouthSiders, although I'm not sure how. Maybe there's money for another starter in the stimulus package.

T7: Paquette 5-3, Fasano K, Howard 2B, S. Cooper P5
B7: Glanville BB, McRae P3, Grace 3-6-1
(Cubs 6, Royals 1)

While this was APD's first baseball game, it was not his first sporting event. He had watched Marquette win the Conference USA basketball tournament that March in St. Louis. As parents of a newborn, I remember we were scared that the loud noise of the bands might hurt his little eardrums.

T8: Goodwin K, Bell K, Damon P6
B8: Sosa 1B, Dunston F9, Sandberg P6, Hernandez 6-3
(Cubs 6, Royals 1)

I can't really remember if APD enjoyed the game or not. As far as games go, there'll be others to come in the countdown that were more interesting from a baseball perspective. Both of these teams went on to lose 94 games this year. But this one will always be special as the first one as the Dolberry family. I'm sure the drive back home to Naperville was traffic-crazy, but it was worth it.

T9: King BB, Dye K, Paquette F8, Nunnally BB, Howard 4-3

Final: Cubs 6, Royals 1

Ay Caruba!

Work's been crazy lately. Lots of projects. Lots of projects w/ lots of problems. And as it happens, I'm in the midst of another self-improvement program (Dolberry v.155) so I'm trying to have a good attitude about it all. But it seems the more stuff I shrug/laugh off the more the fates throw at me. So today, the "m" key on my keyboard stops working. Dolberry v.155 says "well, it could have been worse ... it could have been the 'e'". Dolberry v.154 says if it's still not working tomorrow, he's going to throw the keyboard against the wall until either the "m" comes back online, or until all the letters go offline. We'll see which Dolberry shows up tomorrow.

May snow here tonight. 1-3". But then maybe 70 by the weekend. Yay for that.

Our dog (Cherish) is crazy. For one thing, you can't watch a basketball game w/ her. You mildly rebuke a referee for a missed call and she gets in your face all concerned ... "What happened? What's the matter?! Are you all right?!?!? Here, let me lick your face and it'll all be better."
She's way more playful then any dog I've had before. At night, I'll be typing on the keyboard and she'll want to play. Our play sessions involved growling and howling at one another. Not sure why she finds that enjoyable.

Tomorrow, I'm starting my baseball game countdown. Don't even try to talk me out of it. Resistance is futile.

Frosted Obama Flakes

It has come to my attention that Richard Nixon is not in the news much and that if I wanted to increase traffic to the DCV via Google redirects, I should update presidents. Thus the title ...

I got my bike out today. It's generally a bad sign when you literally have to dust off your exercise equipment before using it. Here's my bike route ... it's 15 miles and it's really beautiful after the first 2 miles because you're really out in the country. There's lots of ponds and it's pretty much exclusively through the pines, so even when you're lungs are bursting (from the aforementioned out-of-shapitude), it's somehow comforting to know that if you are going to fall off your bike and die from exhaustion ... at least you'd be dying in a scenic setting.

My Super Bowl prediction, right before it happens is PIT 24 ARZ 16. Of course, the best thing about the Super Bowl is that it means that pro football is over and that it's almost baseball season and March Madness. This week I'll be counting down the best 10 baseball games I've ever attended ... to get us through those last days before pitchers and catchers report. I further predict that Springsteen ends the day w/ the 3rd best halftime show ever, behind U2 and Prince.

stop reading here if you want to avoid a mini-diatribe and a downer ... it is not intended to be holier-than-thou ... know am preaching to the alter people here (tired of the choirpeople getting all the good press) ...

So, the Super Bowl pretty much represents the apex of American gargantuanism. Oversized men chasing each other around with exaggerated senses of self-importance ... in front of millions of people waiting to be sold on what beer would make them funnier or what truck would make them more of a man than they currently are. Meanwhile, there are thousands of people dying (mostly children and the elderly) every day because of simple hunger. It's really absurd if you think about it for even a second. Check out this page if you want to help out in a small way ...

Frosted Nixon Flakes

It can be a little dangerous to organize your life around what you think would make for interesting blogging fodder. For instance, last night, the beautiful KMD & I were planning on what movie to take in this off Friday. We jointly decided upon Frost/Nixon because: 1) Dolberry thought it would be fun to have "Frosted Nixon Flakes" as a blog title, and 2) tbKMD didn't have any say in the matter because she's still serving her 7 movie suspension for picking out M**** M**.

So, while twinkling w/ excitement over the idea of being the #1 google search for "frosted nixon flakes" AND "apathetic coffee drinking Nirvana slackers", I checked out Fandango.com and got the time and location for our movie.

Unfortunately, in my giddiness ... I didn't realize that I was looking at the Thursday listings and not the Friday ones. So when we get to the theatre today we see that we're an hour early for Frost/Nixon and we won't be able to watch it and pick up APD on time. Normally, Dolberry would have advocated just being late, but we were also driving home some of his schoolmates, so that was less of an option.

The only two movies showing at the time we were there were: New in Town and Last Chance Harvey. We saw the preview for NiT and that looked predictable and lousy, so we went w/ LCH. It wasn't very good. Emma Thompson was good, but in at least half of the Dustin Hoffman scenes I think they just had a Hoffman mannequin. I think he was playing the role as the protagonist of this much better film, 42 years later. Unfortunately, I think the rest of the people associated w/ the picture were doing something else altogether.

Anyway, it was a mess of a film, and given our attendance was credited to my ineptitude, I was given a 5 movie suspension from the board ... leaving me a frosted Nixon flake.

Battle: The Story of the Bulge

BIG thanks to the Alexanders for their Christmas gift of John Toland's Battle: The Story of the Bulge. The book covers the Battle of the Bulge from its origins in Hitler's conference room, through the initial German sucesses, through the eventual Allied repelling counter, and ends w/ a quick recap of what some of the principals had done in the 15 years between the battle and the book's publication (1959).

I'm glad that I read the book in the winter, but even still I cannot imagine how awful it would have been to have people shooting at you while being stuck out in snowy fields and forests.

The book made me want to go back and read through the WWII history from Grandpa Fitz which can be found at the Fitzgerald family web page. The book makes the point that Hitler's decision to go on the offensive in Belguim probably saved the lives of thousands of Allied troops who would have eventually had to break through even more fortified German defenses sans the Battle on the Bulge.

Anyway, fascinating history. Thanks Nancy and Dave.

The outlier

Dolberry is the puppy who doesn't like to wander from the pack. Probably not the only one.

So last night I went to band night at the Cary Senior Center (?) to see a friend of ours band play. I'd say I was probably the only person who wasn't a teen or a parent of a band member. Dolberry felt a little conspicuous ... wondering if he appeared more an undercover cop or a stalker.

This morning I played in a Heroclix event w/ APD and several other middle schoolers. Ahem, the only adult ... not counting the organizer ... playing. My team of: Circe, Yellowjacket, and Dr. Strange was pretty much unbeatable. No mercy boys!

Then tonight, Carey (a great human being BTW), invited some EPA'ers to join him at a Chinese restaurant for Chinese New Year's (which is Monday if I understood correctly). The Chinese to non-Chinese ratio was something like 75-2. Again, there was that conspicuous feeling. (Which was quickly surpassed by a feeling that I ate about 3 times more than I should have. Too good. Bǎo!)

I wonder what it's like to always be in the minority. I think it'd be really tiring. Dolberry probably retreats to his comfortable regimes (softball, family, blogging, the Weather Channel, Guitar Hero) more often than he should. I guess it's nice to have the option to stretch or not.

21 weeks

Did all of you see this study? Well, you're welcome.

U of L sure has been fun to watch of late. At the Pomeroy Ratings site, they're ranked 10th in the country, but what is interesting is that they are rated #1 in adjusted defensive efficiency. Basically, it's a measure of how many points you give up per opponent's possession. They have the best rating of any team over the past 5 years in that category. Last year Kansas was #1 in that category and the season ended pretty well for them. Of course, Kansas was #2 last year in offensive efficiency and this year's Louisville squad is 92nd. I'm just afraid at some point in the tournament they'll have one of those 18-67 shooting nights and no amount of defense is going to overcome that. We'll see.

SLU hasn't been as fun to watch. Interesting SLU fact. They are 3rd worst in the country in FT% allowed (76%). For whatever reason, it's easy to make free throws against the Billikens. Probably because you're well rested.

Did you see that the ratings for the inauguration were the highest since Reagan? Did you also see which market had the highest percentage of viewers tuned in at 51%? Raleigh! Seattle was lowest at 19%. Apathetic coffee-drinking Nirvana slackers. It was dubbed the "Snobama Effect" here.

APD turned 12 today. What a great kid! I hope the next 12 go slower than the first 12 did.

Snow Day!

Wow. The snow patrol was out in Apex. Our rough estimate was 6 inches at our house. Though, the NWS says that Apex got the most of anyone at 7". EPA was off today (due to snow), so we played the usual snow football and went sledding w/ the Jensens at the Home Depot hill. Fun times. A video montage follows.

New U2 song is out

The first single from No Line on the Horizon is available from iTunes. It rocks pretty hard for about 13 seconds, then Bono downshifts it into something Zooropa-like odd. Ah, maybe it'll grow on me.

If I blogged about every time the NY Times irritated Dolberry! to no end, I'd have no time for anything else. But they really raised my dander w/ their article last night about the inauguration gala. U2 opened their set w/ "Pride (In the Name of Love)" an awesome MLK tribute that was meaningful in time (MLK day), space (steps of Lincoln Memorial), and context (inauguration of first black President). Bono, as he does from time to time, was doing some freestyle pontificating when he let drop that freedom is also an Israeli dream and "also a Palestinian dream". The NYT tut-tutted, calling it the "only sour note" of the gala. (I'd link to it, but can't find now. I swear I read it last night.)

I can't figure out why that is a sour note. Are we not supposed to mention anything political at an expressly political event? Do Palestinians not dream of freedom? It is not PC to even mention Palestinians?

Dolberry doesn't have an opinion re: Gaza, other than that they should quit killing each other. Here's a much better take from The Nation. I just gotta ignore the NYT. Basically, that web site is just like the comic strip "Cathy". I can't avoid reading it, but it generally ends w/ Dolberry! feeling like his intelligence has been insulted ... again.

Risen from the Lashes

(written Thurs night, posted Friday, hooray for airport wireless)

So … I’m out swimming under the stars and thinking about life, the universe, and whether Dolberry should have really had that 5th piece of pizza tonight. Seems even harder to stay afloat than usual.

It sure is nice swimming outside in January. Especially when you know in 24 hours it’ll probably be too cold to swim INSIDE where Dolberry is headed.

But that isn’t what I was thinking about. OK, well I was, but I thought about other stuff as well. The hotel I’m staying at is the host hotel of the NFL media for the NFC Championship game here this weekend. There are lots of middle aged, fat guys wandering around the lobby. (I was the one in the swim trunks.)

Many of you may not know this, but coming out of high school Dolberry was debating between four very different college and career paths:

a) Go to U of L and become an engineer. (It was free. El Cueto liked this one)

b) Go to Purdue for meteorology via ROTC. (El Cueto liked this one even more as it would have been free and our hero Dolberry would have had to cut his hair.)

c) Go to SLU and become a Billiken and live happily ever after.

d) Or, go to Western Kentucky and become a sports journalist.


I lost interest in the idea of sports journalism when I did a campus visit and they said you had to be good at interviewing people. At that point in my life, Dolberry didn’t even like talking to people he knew, let alone ones he didn’t know. WKU seemed like a nice school, though. I think one of Dolberry’s sisters friends went there … Rachel or Cherylyn … can’t remember. Somebody went there.

Anyway, I thought DCV readers would enjoy looking into an alternate reality had Dolberry chosen “d”. Enjoy.


Risen from the Lashes
By Dolberry!
USA Today

Phoenix – Seven weeks ago, stumbling off the field in a daze after an inexplicable tie against the bumbling Cincinnati Bengals, a Super Bowl appearance wasn’t even a mirage for Donovan McNabb. But on Sunday, he’ll need just 60 more minutes in the desert sun before reaching that ultimate football oasis.

McNabb was roasted by Dolberry’s sportswriting peers for not knowing that NFL games could end in a tie and he was left to dehydrate in the heat along w/ all other players who would not be making a playoff appearance in 2008-09.

Or, so we thought.

Instead, the ageless QB from Mount Carmel High School, south of Chicago, has risen like a phoenix from the ashes. If grit alone could get you to the Super Bowl, then McNabb’s Eagles would be in, because he leads a team of gutty grinders who would rather eat a cheesesteak than a cheesecake. And over the last 23 years, the Eagles are 1-0 against teams they’ve already beaten on Thanksgiving on that same year.

Stats and grittiness aside, it won’t be easy. The homestanding Cardinals are feisty themselves and won’t fly away in the Battle of the Birds without a flap. Arizona middle linebacker Karlos Dansby will be watching McNabb’s every move like a hawk. Every breath he takes. Every move he makes. Every pass he play fakes … he’ll be watching him.

But when he steps on the field on Sunday afternoon, don’t blame Donovan McNabb for looking around for that oasis. And don’t you doubt that he might not just find it.

In the Valley of the Frying Sun

(written Monday, posted Wednesday)
APD, the title is for you. I thought you’d like it. Went w/ a HoH theme throughout. I do think you could get a sunburn out here this week if you put your mind to it.

The warm weather is quite dissimilar from the last time I was out here in the winter. I might have to give that the “Life Episode” treatment sometime. (OK. Long story short … tbKMD’s family had Dolberry standing out on a major Phoenix thoroughfare holding a sign in my short sleeves in a 40 degree rain. Considering the downwash & spray created by the cars speeding by at 50 mph, the wind chill wet bulb temperature was probably ~25-30. I think it was some sort of hazing ceremony.) Today it was an easy 70 w/ a satisfying sun.

Conference is fine so far. Seen a number of old colleagues. They’d probably say the same about me.

I’m surprised how many memories I have of Phoenix. They all sort of radiated down riding back on the shuttle bus, gazing out the empty back of the bus at the South Mountains. Warm replays of leaving the Valley the first time, riding back to St. Louis w/ John, Beth, and Bridget … crying silently behind sunglasses halfway to New Mexico dreading a summer away from tbKMD.

(we were children then)

It was the first time I met most of tbKMD’s family. Who knows what they thought of Dolberry, but here’s what I remember thinking about them. They were kind of scary.

(footprints in the sand)

It’s one of the happiest blessings of my life that those scary people accepted me as part of their family. Eventually all of them became less scary. It took Mary the longest. Part of it was her tape player which repeated eight Garth Brooks songs over and over in a first day programmer’s loop. Part of it was her tenacious love for her daughters. It was as obvious then as it is now that tbKMD deserves way more than what she got. (No tradebacks!) Over time though, my relationship w/ Mary became something that I really appreciated. She laughed at all my lousy jokes & I did the same for hers. And it was genuine laughter. Nobody could make more smiles w/ less material than Mary. And during that one Chicago spring where Dolberry kinda lost it … Mary straightened me out w/ a simple reminder that nothing was going to happen that day that God & I couldn’t get through together. Before I knew it, we were good friends.

(and like that sand through our hands go our grandest plans)

The year she was sick went like a blur. There was sudden bad but uncertain news. Then it got worse. For a while the medicine worked, but then it didn’t. And we shared lots of happy times. And there were lots of nice talks and visits. And we took pictures in the fallen leaves and with new puppies. And right after that APD & I were out standing on the driveway under a halo-wrapped moon and she was gone.

(and through the cloud of death we find our way back home)

And sitting here in the Valley of the Sun, I selfishly wish I could go back in time and live it all over again. I’d do some things different (see summer jobs entry) but mostly just to experience it all over again. It's been too fun. Like always, I’m just so grateful for all the people in my life, the ones who are on the other side and the ones still here.

(the end … is not the end)

Phoenix

Did you know that Phoenix is the 6th largest city in the U.S., but if you watch the local news you will see commercials for alpacas? I knew that and now you do too.

Probably won't be blogging much this week as have not stumbled upon free wireless (that works) anywhere. Hope all is well for you guys!

Shaqtastic!

I think my favorite commercial right now is the ESPN one where Shaq is playing scrabble. Shaq does seem to be an excellent player and I hate to quibble, but in his first play he would have gotten 54 points had he played "quash" on his opening turn instead of "shaqfu" which was just 50 if my math is right.

Speaking of games, my 2009 Sudoku streak over tbKMD ended at eight today. We print out the same "expert" level puzzle from this web site and race to see who can finish it first. Usually takes about 20 minutes, but I got one done in 10:34 this morning. Unfortunately, tbKMD beat me by about 20 seconds in our 3rd match of the day. So, now I'm 8-1 on the year.

Speaking of streaks, I've gotten a lot of questions about my Guitar Hero prowess (well, one ... thx El Cueto). My longest consecutive note streak is in the 400s on easy. I can do pretty much every song at the easy level at least 90%. I've focused on two songs at medium level for now ("Everlong" by Foo Fighters & "The One I Love" by REM). I can do both of them at 90% on medium.

Watched a Josh Hamilton show on ESPN last night. The job he'd want to have if he wasn't a MLB player ... weatherman.

Went running around the lake today (2 miles) & APD whupped me. That kid is a competitive runner. He does not like to lose ... to his Dad anyway.

Probably no blog tomorrow unless there's free wireless somewhere.

I've had enough cold & I am outta here!

Day 3 of the water heater strike brought 55 deg F water which was a vast improvement over yesterday's 33 F. Looks like even warmer water can be expected tomorrow morning. The water heater strike came only 6 days after our car heater strike. Heat is an expensive commodity in the winter.

So, I'm headed out to the desert Southwest for the 89th annual American Meteorological Society meeting next week in sunny Phoenix. Forecast temps are in the 70s all week. Presumably, the Airport Marriott will have heated showers (they have a heated pool anyway, which is good enough for me). And I'll be hearing about global warming all week, so that should by toasty nice.

I'll try to blog along the way, but if not, stay warm out there.

Spinning

Hey ... hope your day got off to a better start than mine. Woke up around 7a ... still no working water heater ... 90 seconds dodging sleet from the nozzle. Then went from that to a 8a dentist appointment. Then work.

But really the dentist wasn't that bad & while work is busier than usual right now, it was ok.

After work, straight from the bus, we went to the gym where I did a Cycle 60 class. I guess it's called spinning as well. It's really fun for exercise. The lights are off ... they have big TVs showing Lance Armstrong riding up mountains ... they play some good music (& some bad music) ... and a nice lady yells at you to work harder. Big fun.

My goal this year is to do three triathlons and a half-marathon. 8 days in ... I haven't done any of those things ...

I really like this song called "Spinning" by Jack's Mannequin ... sort of sums up what life can be life sometimes. Check it out on the "Lala" musical widget thing to the right.

I'm keeping quiet 'til there's no more sirens.
Lately its hard to keep the hinges on with all the noise.
I found my words when there was no one talking.
The room is spinning i have got no choice.
Be patient, i am getting to the point

I can't remember when the earth turned slowly.
I just waited with the lights turned out again.
I lost my place but i can't stop this story.
I found my way but until then,
I'm only spinning.

I'm keeping quiet 'til the phone stops ringing.
Lately it's hard to disconnect. I just want something real.
I found the words if i can just stop thinking.
The room is spinning i have got no choice.
Be patient, i am getting to the point.

I can't remember when the earth turned slowly.
So i just waited with the lights turned out again.
I lost my place but i can't stop this story.
I found my way but until then,
I'm only spinning.

Spectacular double rainbow this evening in RTP

I'd credit the photographer, but given that he took the picture w/ his newly, ill-gotten, government-property Blackberry ... I'll save him the potential GAO audit.

Anyway, it was a real thin squall line of heavy rain & gusty winds, but immediately behind it was clear skies, thus the rainbow. Kind of a nice reminder that better weather is ahead. Softball signups start next weekend. Two months to spring training. I think I'll make it.

Movie "Review": Bedtime Stories

The whole D'Berry clan took in a post-Christmas movie this past weekend. We narrowed it down to Desperaux and Bedtime Stories and let a coin make the final decision. It was fine. A little Adam Sandler goes a long way. I had a really nice ICEE though, so all was good.

Our water heater appears to have failed. I grumbled to tbKMD ... didn't we just get that installed 3 years ago. Turns out it was 9 years ago. Time files.

Closer to caving on the cell phone thing ...

As many of you know, one of my life's goals is to be the last person in the U.S. over the age of 8 to own a cell phone. I must admit it's getting harder. The stupid bus has been really late a lot these days & I've been thinking that it'd be nice to be able to call tbKMD & tell her that I'll expect my dinner to be on the table at 6:37 sharp instead of 6:22 sharp.

One of my wonderful sisters (Carrie) sent me a link to a funny The Onion article about an obnoxious cell-phone holdout who caved and then instantly became a cell phone junkie. I would so be that guy. If I ever get a cell phone, I want the best one. Preferably one that takes pictures, plays MP3s, serves as a browser, and can grill a burger indoors (i.e., the George Foreman phone).

Based on a quick Google search, it appears that somewhere between 70 and 85% of all American adults have cell phones at the present time. According to one study, more people say it would be harder to give up their cell phone than their TV. Ouch.

The advertising for cell phones is relentless. According to the internet, here are the top 10 spenders on advertisements during the first three quarters of 2008:

1 Procter & Gamble Co $2.3 billion
2 General Motors Corp $1.4 billion
3 AT&T Inc $1.3 billion
4 Verizon Communications Inc $1.1 billion
5 Johnson & Johnson $1.1 billion
6 Time Warner Inc $878 million
7 Toyota Motor Corp $819 million
8 General Electric Co $807 million
9 Ford Motor Co $742 million
10 Pepsico Inc $731 million

Anyway, I guess I'll stick it out another year. But if anyone wants to get me an iPhone for Valentine's Day ... I probably won't throw it out the window.

We got Guitar Hero over the weekend

It's pretty awesome. I'm on easy level for now, but I've already made over $3K by playing virtual gigs. I guess Activision sends you the money by check. It's pretty sweet. Basically, the game has already paid for itself as it was only $79.

Good thing for those guys most folks don't have Dolberry's innate musical talent. They'd go broke.

Hey! Another gripe from growing up. Why did Kathy & Kris get guitar lessons & I didn't. We could have made a lot of money as a Partridge family thing if I'd have gotten the lessons.

Oh well ... bygones be bygones ....

Top Board Games of all Time

Ho boy! Another countdown. Who saw that coming?

Tonight's edition: Best board games ever. Dolberry loves himself a good board game. Don't think it gets much better than hanging out w/ friends and/or family around a table and playing a board game ... then winning & then taunting them until they run away from the table crying.

OK, here are the games that I remember playing that didn't make the cut: Backgammon, Balderdash, Battleship, Boggle, Candy Land, Catch Phrase, Checkers, Chess, Chinese Checkers, Connect Four, Hi Ho! Cherry-o*, Hungry Hungry Hippo, Jenga, Mancala, Memory**, Mouse Trap, Operation, Othello, Parchesi, & Twister.

( * - do not play Molly Alexander in this game ... you will lose.)
( ** - do not play Brigitte Alexander in this game ... you will most definitely lose.)

20 - Cranium: This should be more fun than it is.
19 - Pictionary: I'm lousy at this but enjoy watching tbKMD and Shelly play as a team.
18 - Clue: Colonel Mustard and the Bad Seeds would make a good name for a rock band.
17 - Yahtzee: I'm not sure how Dolberry went to the bathroom prior to the handheld Yahtzee.
16 - Chutes and Ladders: First game I ever remember playing ... was Snakes and Ladders then.
15 - Scotland Yard: Tracking Mr. X all over London is the closest Dolberry's been to overseas.
14 - Outburst: Fine game
13 - Sorry: Remember playing this game up in Akron at G'Grandma's.
12 - Taboo: Man, El Cuerta is awful at this game. He always gets buzzed.
11 - Scattergories: Simple, fun game.
10 - Life: If only all kids were as well behaved in the car as those little blue/pink plastic pegs.
9 - Blokus: Kristin got me this for Christmas. It's a blast. Thanks Kris!
8 - Stratego: El Cuerta always beat me at this. In retrospect, I suspect he marked my flag piece.
7 - All Star Baseball: Ooh, I spent many an hour when I was young spinning those dials.
6 - Ticket to Ride: Only played it once, but really enjoyed it. Will buy at some point.
5 - Trivial Pursuit: I enjoyed this more when I was smarter.
4 - Risk: Used to have epic games of this down at Topher's house before we switched to D&D.
3 - Apples to Apples: This is a blast of a game. Only Gus & I know how nasty rust is.
2 - Monopoly: Classic.
1 - Scrabble: Did you know ... that in the "proposal game" I beat tbKMD 410 to 167? A great memory.

Reconsidering the Catcher in the Rye

Dolberry likes to reread old books from time to time & in the last few weeks before Christmas, I was re-reading The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger. (Not to be confused w/ the equally excellent Bob Uecker autobiography, The Catcher in the Wry.) At one time of my life (i.e., high school) this was probably my favorite novel of all time. I recall feeling totally linked into Holden Caulfield's experience: feeling lost in a larger world, not knowing how to fight back, and wanting to save the innocents from being lost to it. Now I read it, and while I think I still feel all those things from the previous sentence, now all I come away with is that Holden Caulfield is a jerk.

So what happened? Obviously, the book hasn't changed; so I guess I have. Did I just not read it critically enough the first time around or has 25 additional years of life left me unsympathetic to the protagonist's obvious psychological troubles? I'm interested in what others think.

Anyway, while you guys do that ... I'll leave you w/ Dolberry's favorite 15 "important" novels of all time. (Important is defined as one that you might be required to read in high school or college.) Some of these I haven't read in a while so there's a chance I may no longer like them. So, buyer beware.

15. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
14. The Bridge of San Luis Rey - Thornton Wilder
13. The Power and the Glory - Graham Greene
12. Slaughterhouse Five - Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
11. The Jungle - Upton Sinclair
10. Sister Carrie - Theodore Dreiser
9. Fahrenheit 451 - Ray Bradbury
8. The Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
7. Catch-22 - Joseph Heller
6. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
5. The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald
4. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
3. A Tale of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
2. The Lord of the Rings trilogy - J.R.R. Tolkien (nasty hobbitses!)
1. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn - Mark Twain

The Spreading of Disorder

There was a cool article in Science magazine last month. Researchers in Netherlands conducted a half-dozen experiments to test the validity of the so-called "broken windows" theory (BWT). The premise of the BWT is that being surrounded by disorderly/criminal activity can actually lead to increased bad behavior. So, if one is surrounded by litter, graffiti, or minor vandalism ... one is more likely to exhibit that same bad behavior, or worse. Apparently, before this article there was no quantifiable evidence to support the BWT.

Their experiments were quite clever. For instance, they set up in an alley near a shopping center in Groningen where people would park their bicycles. They put useless flyers on the bicycles while their riders were away and tested whether the riders would take the flyer w/ them or litter them on the ground when returning. For the control case, the alley walls were clear of graffiti. In the experimental case, the alley walls were graffiti'd. 33% of the riders littered in the clean wall case; but 69% littered the flyer in the graffiti case. The (subliminal) thinking was that 'hey, this place is ugly anyway; what's a piece of litter.'

In another experiment, they put two signs on a temporary fence that people would have to walk around to get to their parked car. One sign said "don't lock your bicycles to this fence" and the other said "don't walk through the area blocked by the fence". When the researchers locked bicycles to the fence, 82% of the people ignored the other sign. When there were no bicycles chained to the fence, only 27% broke the other rule.

In other experiments they found that people were twice as likely to steal money when surrounded by disorder / other bad behavior.

Isn't that cool? It seems to indicates that humans have a tendency to hold a shifting ethical code that varies depending upon what others are doing. I would hope my ethics are independent of that others are doing, but I know I'm influenced (the whole music downloading thing from a few years ago is probably a good example).

Looking at it from another more encouraging angle, the more I "behave" the easier it becomes for others to do so as well. Maybe it's part of growing older, maybe it's just part of our current situation; but sometimes the world seems to be careening off-track. Maybe in 2009 if we all do enough of the little things right, we can nudge us back on course?

You know what I think?

I think Ben Rothelisberger didn't suffer a concussion at all last week. I think he was so bored playing against the Browns ... that he fell asleep in the middle of the game.

I think that 2009 has a chance to be a pretty good year, if I put my mind to it.

I think that APD was right about House of Heroes. I think that their album ended up being my favorite disc of the whole year. See musical widget to the right.

I think that Willy Taveras is an upgrade over Corey Patterson. I think that the goofy singer currently vamping about on Dick Clark's Rockin' New Years Eve would be an upgrade over Corey Patterson ... even w/ all the makeup.

I think I shouldn't have eaten so many Cheeze Puffs earlier this evening.

I think I want to get in better shape. I think I want to do 4 triathlons this year.

I think I'm the only one up in our house right now.

I think God made me to do something. I think I am slow, but I think I will one day figure out what it is.

I think I just saw a commercial where a lady karate chopped an oversized donut and sprinkles sprayed all over.

I think I've stayed up too late.

I think I better wake up everyone who wanted to see the first seconds of 2009.

I think I like you DCV reader.

I think therefore I am?

I think, but I think it's better to do than think.

I think I'll see you next year.

My Top 25 songs of the 90's

See widget to the right. Comments welcome.

Can't wait to go to Louisville for Christmas!

My White Elephant Gift @ Work

A Blockbuster video of the movie "Millions". I told the recipient it was due back on Thursday.

(actually, we lost it, then had to buy it, then found it, ugh)

Recap of a long Thanksgiving weekend

Wed: Had a blast at the Turkey Open, which I guess is a long running golf outing held every year on the Wednesday before T-giving by the St. Michaels' men club. I was playing w/ two friends from the glorious 2-time champion Law Office squad and their brother-in-law from Sweden. It was Superball format and I did pretty much nothing all day until the last hole when one of our good players drove the green on a 320 yd par 4 ... and then I drained a 40 ft putt for eagle. That got us to 8 under which was good enough for 3rd place and a $25 gift certificate. Along w/ my closest to the pin win on Columbus Day, that brings my golf earnings to $50 over the last two months, which is $50 more than Tiger's won over that period.

Thurs: Slept in pretty late than headed out to Asheboro. Chuck cooked up a great turkey. I ate too much as usual. Played Apples to Apples w/ the cousins. Always fun. Proof that APD is pretty smart ... he had the card "mothers" and let all sort of very potentially funny adjectives go by (including evil), until tbKMD or Aunt Shelly played the adjective "beautiful" (or something like that) and won the deck.

Fri: APD and I started a convoluted Sweet 16 Heroclix tournament. Eight of his teams and eight of mine. We didn't seed it very accurately as the #10, #12, #14, & #16 have made the Final 4. We then went out to eat at my gift certificate restaurant (Beef O'Bradys) and the number of workers far outpaced the number of diners (the 3 of us). I felt a little guilty ... like if we left they could all go home. Eventually two more groups came.

Sat: Went back out to Asheboro to help Shelly and the kids move. Their new house is really nice. All that moving made Dolberry very sore, though.

Sun: Church in the morning. Nap in the afternoon. Watching my fantasy squad bear El Cueto's by about 70 points. Pretty much a standard Sunday. Am glad I am not a Texas fan because they jobbed in the whole BCS thing. They beat Oklahoma on a neutral field. Seriously, it's ridiculous that they can't put out a better product than what college football puts out for a postseason. I'll bet there aren't three bowls that are worth watching.

Bottom line: not looking forward to back-to-work tomorrow. 5-day weekends are too nice.

Life Episodes: The Hospital Laundry

In tonight's episode of "Life Episodes" ... that very special segment we sometimes run here at the DCV ... you know the one where we document the most memorable times in Dolberry's life ... (no? seriously? look back at the archives!) ... we're going to take a look back at the summer I worked at the Humana Southeast Regional Laundry. Basically, it was the summer I spent living the life of a John Steinbeck character.

(Have you ever noticed that the DCV uses a lot of ellipses ... those things right there? It's because we've lost confidence in how to use commas and semicolons. Wikipedia implies that Dolberry is on solid ground in using this device to indicate a pause in thought. So there.)

Anyway, here are my 11 most favorite jobs I've ever had (in the beloved countdown format). And please don't misunderstand ... I do not like work in any format really. So, by "favorite", I really mean "least loathsome". And by "job", I mean somebody paid me (or pays me) to do it.

11 - Research Assistant at University of Chicago
10 - Environmental Something or Another at MCNC
9 - Babysitting
8 - Sticking Random Labels on Random Forms Drone for Standard Register
7 - Environmental Protection Specialist at EPA, Region 5
6 - Modeling Director at LADCO
5 - Maintenance Worker at the Executive Inn
4 - Umpire for Hikes Point Optimist baseball
3 - Physical Scientist @ NOAA/EPA (esp. when it involves 5-day weekends like right now)
2 - Lifeguard at Woodhaven
1 - Vacation Sales Representative for Nabisco

The only job that did not make the list was the one my dear mother got me one summer at a hospital laundry. Apparently she had an "in" with someone who ran this slave labor camp in the Bluegrass Industrial Park which was conveniently located about 5 miles from our house. Dolberry doesn't remember exactly how his mom knew the Stalinesque supervisor of the laundry. I think it involved Jazzercise.

Anyway, to this point, Dolberry had done jobs #2, #4, #5, #8, and #9 ... all of which complied with basic OSHA standards for worker safety. And really Dolberry was ok with a third year of spending 15-20 hours of each summer week, avoiding the sun and warding off girls at the pool, but Mom convinced me that $0.35 less per hour was a good tradeoff for the opportunity to work 40-hour weeks (more on this later).

The summer before I'd been a maintenance worker at a hotel in Louisville (the Executive Inn). This was a good job ... in the cushy variety that I favor when it comes to occupations. Mr Luersen, a neighbor, had gotten me the job. My "maintenance" duties consisted of:

1) mowing the lawn (easy),
2) watering flowers (easier), and
3) drinking unlimited free soda with the crew in our break room (easiest).

(It is also at this job that I learned one of my favorite quotes ever, from our foreman: "We didn't get much done today, but will give'r hell tomorrow.")

So, I show up for the first day at the laundry expecting to meet some new friends and earn a few bucks ... and get my caffeine fix for the summer.

And this is no exaggeration ... I was so exhausted by the noon lunch break I put my head down on the lunch break table and slept away my 30 minute reprieve from the floor. And 15 minutes of the morning was spent in orientation.

It was the most awful job you can imagine. Go ahead ... imagine the worst job you can think of ... I'll wait ...

Yeah, this was way worse than that.

One bad thing about a hospital laundry is that people who go to a hospital often do not maintain the same hygiene level that folks outside hospitals do. I guess that's why they're in the hospital. I don't know ... I'm not a doctor. So, they bleed on stuff. They throw up on stuff. They pee on stuff. And worse. I know what you're saying ... "Well they throw all that stuff away." No, my friend, they do not. Or at least they didn't 20 years ago. They sent it to the Bluegrass Industrial Park and insisted that people making $3.55 an hour restore this stuff to its original luster. This was in the early days of AIDS but before the term "biohazard" had been coined. You'd often see needles in the incoming baskets.

Another bad thing about a hospital laundry is that there is no air conditioning. My job was to take the clothes out of the industrial washers and put them in the industrial dryers. The washers provided a nice tropical humidity and the dryers added a nice Saharan touch that combined to put heat indexes up into the 110s in the environs where I spent 8 to 9 to 10 to 11 hours a day.

That was another bad thing about the hospital laundry. You never knew when you were going home. Basically, you worked until the trucks quit bringing dirty laundry. We didn't get overtime, though. Everyday was 8 hours on the timecard. For the life of me, I still don't see how that could have been even close to legal.

At the end of that first lunch, one of my co-workers roused me out of my labor-induced coma and encouraged me that I would get used to it. I guess that was one of the nice things about the hospital laundry ... my co-workers. Dolberry was definitely the outlier ... the college boy ... the kid who knew the boss (as evidenced by he acknowledged me at least 2-3 times that summer) ... the boy who would be out of here in three months. But they accepted me. That's either a testament to the basic goodness of the common working person or a testament to the fact that Dolberry is just so darned likeable. And while there were definitely some lifers on the crew, there was a heavy rotation. So much so, that by August I was one of the veterans. You'd ask someone at lunch "Where's Tommy?" and they'd say "What? Didn't you see the news last night? I TOLD him that First National Bank ATMs had cameras. Idiot!"

Anyway, by the end of the summer I was in awesome shape. Best shape of my life. Was anxious to get back to SLU for my junior season of cross-country. Sadly, they canceled the program that fall so they could have more women sports. Seriously?

And as I look back on this, Dolberry is puzzled. I learned a valuable lesson about hard work that summer. I learned that for whatever reason, I had started life leading off 3rd base while some were still in the batting box. The blessings that I'd been given (loving parents, nice house, good schools, passably tolerable sisters, supreme intelligence, and overpowering charisma among others) ... maybe hadn't been bestowed in an equal manner on everyone else. That some people have to work incredibly hard to narrow out what many would consider to be a meager existence. The puzzling thing is that this seems like a lesson that the fatherly El Cueto would have tried to instill. Instead he got me the job where I drank soda and ate Oreos (the next two summers) and it was La Cueta that got me this job. One thing's for sure, I never complained again about her potato soup after that summer.

Writing all this down made me feel a little guilty ... not because the prose here is achingly beautiful ... which it is ... but because I know there are millions of people today working laundry-like jobs.

Sometimes, it seems like being thankful isn't enough for all the blessings you've been given.

Happy T-giving to all DCV readers!

24 hours: an acrostic

There aren't many things better than an off Friday.
I play Sudoku with tbKMD and win two out of three.
Really no need to go outside; cold front has blasted through.
Even snowed a little bit earlier.
Drive over to church around 7p for annual lock-in.
Board games, loud music, movies, Madden 09, pizza, fun times ...
Unless you like sleep.
The youth at our church are a great group.
Hurry home at 7a for a quick 90 minute snooze,
And then drowsily lace up the running gear for my first 5K in a long long time.
Prepared (cough) for this race by running 6 or 7 times all year.
Picked it up at the 2.5 mile mark and finished feeling good in a not-too-bad 27:34.
Yeah ... life is really great when you feel like you've earned your nap.

Really cool new website

Hey, have any of you guys seen this website Jooners.com. It allows you to organize events by providing electronic signup sheets. Very helpful.

Anyway, Dolberry had the brilliant idea to organize his Christmas list. Follow this link and signup for what you want to get me. This way I can get started on my thank you notes early.

Thanks in advance.

The DCV Interview: Josh Hamilton

Last Friday, the Dolberry Cheery Vanilla blog sat down w/ Josh Hamilton, star of this year's Home Run Derby for a very special in-depth interview.

OK, technically, he was the only one sitting. Dolberry had been standing in line at the Barnes & Noble to have him autograph a copy of his book: Beyond Belief: Finding the Strength to Come Back. Nevertheless, I think you will find that when it comes to interviews of major stars that Dolberry has no peer.

Q. I wish you were still the Reds. Um, on the Reds.
A. I didn't have any choice.

Q. We were at your first Spring Training with the Reds. That was awesome. Your story is cool.
A. Thanks man.

Anyway, security hustled me out at that point, but I think Dolberry had captured the gist of it.

Dolberry's people are trying to get a sit-down (or stand-up) w/ the former chairman and chief executive of AIG, Maurice "Hank" Greenberg. They're stonewalling at present. I hope to ask him about the 1934 Detroit Tigers.

New Feature: Factcheckertron 5000

DCV staff are always wracking our brains to improve our service and provide the very best blog experience for our readers. One thing that Dolberry actually LIKED about the most recent election season was the proliferation of newspaper blurbs attempting to verify the various wild claims made by all the candidates and their supporters (or more often than not, their opponents' detractors) prior to the vote. You probably saw them, but here's an example.

Claim: Candidate A says Candidate B thinks American Idol should be canceled and replaced by Al-Qaida Idol. Further, Candidate A claims Candidate B ate a sandwich in 4th grade prepared by a lunch worker who later formed the Green Panther Creationist Party of Mordor. Candidate A (surrounded by smiling kids holding American flags) asks "Are these the kind of values we want representing us in Washington?"

Truth: Candidate B did attend 4th grade. (Then depending upon the editorial slant of the paper ... they would summarize either ...) This claim is almost entirely false. (or) This claim is partially true.

Anyway, the DCV is now going to do the same thing on non-political commercials. Enjoy! We have a few choice selections for this week's entry.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Claim #1: Bud Light claims their beer is better than other light beers because it has "superior drinkability". The commercials go onto ask if drinking water from a hose is the same as drinking water from a glass.

Truth: This commercial is ridiculous. First, if the highest claim you can make about your beverage is that it is actually potable then you have a crappy product my friend. I can think of hundreds of other liquids that are drinkable (definition ... something that can be drunk). This includes, but is not limited to: lighter fluid, Charlie Weis' sweat, & the bloody entrails of a roadkilled skunk. I would not drink these things however, no matter how easy they went down. Second, no one drinks Bud Light from a hose so that's just a red herring. Third, there's no way to prove your claim which belies its inherent meaninglessness. The claim in this commercial cannot be proven. The fact that whoever owns Anheuser-Busch now has set their marketing claims so low and nebulous probably means you should avoid this product.

Claim #2: Embarq claims you must be made of gold not to want free TV. One of the characters in the ad is purported to actually be made of gold. An irritating musical trio closes the ad w/ "they don't call her Queen Tut for nothing."

Truth: Where to start? First, people cannot be made of gold. And if a person WAS made of gold do you think they'd sit around coffee shops talking about which high-speed internet service they prefer? Of course not, they would likely be doing whatever they could to enslave the world. Or they'd be selling their fingernail clippings for cash and living on easy street. This commercial is ridiculous and it makes me mad. I went to Embarq's web site and I don't see the free TV anywhere. I do see that if you pay them $88 bucks a month you will get phone service & internet service & the DISH network. 88 is not equal to zero.

Claim #3: Sharp Aquos is running an ad w/ the tagline "Change your TV. Change your life". The clear implication is that buying a (bigger, more expensive) Aquos TV will change your life for the better.

Truth: It pains Dolberry to break this to those who can't see through this despicable mendacity but getting a better TV will not improve your life. In fact, it's pretty easy to make the argument that anything that causes you to watch more TV will make your life worse. If you want to change your life for the better ... don't buy a TV ... then turn off the TV you have ... read a book ... call a friend ... do something nice for someone ... pet your dog ... love someone ... allow someone to love you ... pray for someone that needs it ... put on some good music ... see an argument through someone else's eyes ... go for a walk ... forgive someone who's wronged you ... apologize to someone who you've wronged. Generally, live life, don't watch it. (Above paragraph does not apply to "The Office". That one you should watch. But you don't really need a fancy Aquos TV to do so.)

The people have spoken! Change is coming!

Brady Quinn is starting tomorrow for the Browns!!!!

It's about time. Maybe it wasn't Derek Anderson's fault the offense has gone in the tank over the past 12 games, but a change was needed.

Brady Quinn is the first Notre Dame QB ever to start for the Browns. Truly historic.

While I think Anderson is probably the better QB technically (arm, experience, right to life), I voted for Brady. Mostly because he was from Notre Dame. This may be silly, but I think it was time that the Browns had a Notre Dame QB. I think in the long run, no matter what else happens, whether he throws 20 interceptions or leads us to the Super Bowl, we will be a stronger team for it.

I am truly full of hope that he can turn around the abomination that is the Browns 3-5 season. I am proud to be a Browns fan today. But I was proud to be a Browns fan on Monday also. Hopefully Anderson fans will support Quinn through any early struggles. It's more important that we're all Browns fans ... and that the Browns prosper ... than having our preferred QB be leading the team. The Browns are a great team w/ great fans.

Of course, if we still have a losing record in 4 years, I will be advocating for someone else. Dolberry, like many fans, is notoriously fickle that way.

CHAMPIONS!

Well, I wish there was a more exciting story, but as it turned out we won rather easily. We had to beat the #4 seed (we were #2) twice since they had routed us last week (25-5), but I think we had the better team ... just had to play that way. And we did.

So we won the first game 12-1 in a 5 inning run rule. Dolberry the coach did not play Dolberry the player (actually, the game ended before I could get myself in). Then we won the second game (in a fairly steady rain for the first 3 innings) 12-2. Our pitcher and defense was spectacular all night. Dolberry went 1-2 in the 2nd game.

We have some guys on our team that are unbelievably good. We hit four over the fence HRs on the night (300 ft fences). And everyone on the team is a good person as well, so it was just a lot of fun.

There are no extra t-shirts this year ... sorry.

We'll be back for our third straight championship next year.

(Nathan, if you want to see the stats ... I'll e-mail them to you. I know you're a BIG softball stats guy.)

If There's a Rocket Tie Me To It

At this point in the election cycle, I'm trying to avoid anything and everything political. I've given up trying to discern which parts of America are racist (western Pennsylvania, apparently) and which parts contain anti-American Americans (thankfully not North Carolina, I guess). So, caller ID helps us avoid the robo-calls and we don't listen to the messages left behind. The mailers are glanced at on the walk from the mailbox to the recycle bin only for the amusement value ("my opponent voted for quadzillions of dollars of new taxes", "My economic plan will create a 42 million new high-paying jobs"). TV ads are tuned out or clicked away from. Fox News and MSNBC are never EVER turned on. Bulk e-mails are treated like potential viruses (deleted w/o opening). Newspaper columns from omniscient partisans are passed over. The blogosphere w/ its frenzied hordes of overwhelmingly irrational screamers is avoided like a coiled and cornered copperhead. If anyone tries to steer the conversation to the politics, Dolberry steers the conversation to softball or the weather. (OK, I do that for any non softball/weather conversations.)

So, a lot of people ask me how I pick who to vote for. It's simple, really.

I go by the jockey's silks. In the early races on the ballot (judges, sanitation commissioner, anything to do w/ agriculture, etc.) you want to take someone wearing bright colors, yellows and oranges preferably. These candidates almost always win and pay reasonably at the windows. A good example is this weekend's Breeders Cup Sprint where Midnight Lute won (pictured above). Later down on the ballot, you want someone w/ a star or horseshoe on their vest. They may not win, but they will always finish in the money (unless they are a libertarian or gelding). In the big races, you want some sort of green ... just not green and gold ... those colors are an abomination together.

My headache's gone now ...

... thanks for all your concern.

Note to bloggers everywhere: nothing will cut down on blog traffic more than a big ol' picture of Charlie Weis.

How's was my week you ask? What's it to you? Oh, you're just being friendly? Sorry it's hard to tell on these internets.

Let's see: Recapitorily, my week looked like this:

Monday: 10/13: Capital of Ohio Day. Annual OAQPS golf tournament. Dolberry's team finished last in 2005 and 2006, but we got a ringer in 2007 and did not finish last. Unfortunately, our ringer was out of town in 2008 so we went out w/ 4 "D" players and fully expected to finish 16th of 16 this year. After 4 holes we were +2 (bogey/birdie/bogey/bogey), when Dolberry went on the best 5 shot streak of golf I have ever played.

Shot 1: Tee shot on 130 yd par 3. Nestled a 9 iron to about 3 feet.
Shot 2: Made putt as leadoff putter. Team is now only +1.
Shot 3: Drive on 360 yd par 4. 260 yards to creek. Dolberry nails a drive, right down the middle, exactly 260 yards. Picked ball out of creek. No matter. I crushed that thing. Someone else on team had put one in the fairway at the 150 marker.
Shot 4: From 150 yd, hit a 7 iron to about 18 inches from hole. Ball mark was about 3" from hole.
Shot 5: Made putt for birdie. Team at even.

I returned to earth after that stretch, but played pretty well all day. We had a shot at even par if we birdied a short par 5 at the 18th. Dolberry's drive, 3 wood, & PW had us on the fringe, but we couldn't make the miracle putt. We ended up at +1 on the day. Fun times. (Oh yeah, we finished 14th.)

Tuesday 10/14: Busy day at work. Two big briefings to mgrs. of some sort. Both went ok, not great, but not bad.

Wednesday 10/15: Over the weekend I had calculated the softball stats for our team (the glorious Law Office) and uncovered, not surprisingly, that I was in the midst of my worst softball season ever ... a pitiful 10-26 (.385). (A good rule of thumb is to divide by two to get what an equivalent baseball average would be; e.g., .385 would be like hitting .192. Hello Corey Patterson!) So, we were playing the last two games of our regular season and Dolberry got 7 ABs over the two games which went as follows: line drive single, line drive single, line drive single, line drive single, HR over outfielder's head who was playing Dolberry way too shallow, line drive single, line drive single. 7 for heavenly 7! New average ... .515. (Hello mediocre Red of your choosing!). We won both games easily: 29-3 and 29-9 (pretty much everyone on our team went 7 for 7) to finish the regular season at 10-2 and in 2nd place. Tournament starts on Monday.

Thursday 10/16: Had my performance review. Am no longer outstanding. Only exceeding expectation. Not too worried about it. They can only give a finite number of O's each year. Guess it was someone else's turn this year, which is fair; we have a lot of really good workers in our group. I might have been mildly perturbed if I hadn't gone 7 for 7 the night before, but, you see, Dolberry's self-worth is tied directly to softball performance. If I do well as a husband, dad, son, brother, worker bee, youth person thingy, friend, fantasy football player, haiku writer, or HeroClix player ... well that's just gravy.

Friday 10/17: Woke up and my throwing arm hurts like crazy. Can't lift above shoulders w/o pain. What gives, arm?!? I blame this guy.

I have a headache ... and this isn't helping!

So Dolberry is watching the UNC - Notre Dame game while getting the Sunday School lesson ready for tomorrow. Kinda tired from this cold thing, a long week, and a busy morning. So, they go to halftime and ABC hits the national viewing audience w/ the strongest attractiveness gradient ever.
Charlie Weis being interviewed by Stacey Dales.












My head nearly exploded from the contrast.

Carry on ...

Really good article ...

This is a really good read from a great blog. Nominally, it's about the Kansas City Chiefs, but I think there's a lot more there.

Hope all are well.

Our softball team is on a streak; after starting 0-2, we are now 8-2. No thanks to me as I've been pitiful.

Work is busy, busy, busy.

All us NC Dolberries have chest colds and hacking coughs.

Lamest.post.ever

Won't be blogging through November (at least)

DCV MLB playoff picks (Return of the Rally Monkey)

Rays over ChiSox in 5
Angels over BoSox in 4

Dodgers over Cubs in 5
Brewers over Phils in 4

Angels over Rays in 5
Brewers over Dodgers in 7

Angels over Brewers in 6

Oh, I've picked 7 straight in ESPN's "Streak for the Cash" contest ... if I can pick 18 more in a row right, I'll be leaving the bloggin' business for good, suckas!

Hey, what's up with me?

Not much.

Playing some softball. We lost our first two games, but have stormed back to win 5 straight, including beating both of the teams that beat us. We're currently 3rd of 7, one game back of the leaders. I've been playing very very badly.

Our rotisserie team was horrible this year. 7th of 13. Pitiful. Our widely panned Volquez trade ended up being a net positive for the O'Jimmies, but it wasn't enough.

I'm thinking about doing another "Life Episodes" soon ... if I can think up anything else interesting that's happened to me.

The Reds season is finally over. Anyone who thinks they'll be any better next year than this year needs their optimism levels adjusted.

The beautiful KMD and APD are psyched about the ChiSox.

All this sounds negative but it's not. Things are fine here.

Looking back through old yearbooks ....

Fun day today. APD's team lost again (0-5), but he got his first ever hit to the OF on a fly. He ripped it pretty good. Then yard work. Then went swimming. It was 90 again here today.

We spent the evening looking through some of our old yearbooks. Check this link for more.

Here's APD in 1952:

The beautiful KMD has gotten better looking everyday I've ever known her. Here she was in 1966:

Surprisingly, Dolberry hasn't changed much. Here I was in 1972 in my Grand Funk Railroad days:


Finally, here's Cherish from 1996. Looking stylish.

Oh Mamma Mia!

In yesterday's blog I opined on songs that I like by bands/singers that typically do not meet, or come close to meeting, Dolberry's high standards of rockitude. This was before I had any idea of the debacle of a day that I was going to have today. You will notice there is no ABBA on the list below. I could have listed a top 500 and there still would have been no ABBA. Honestly, and this is from the heart here, I think Sweden should be listed w/ Iran, Iraq, and N. Korea in the Axis of Evil for foisting the abomination that is ABBA on the world.

It is my off Friday. And it started out fine. I did a talk on weather for 2nd graders. Came home from that and took a nap. Lunch ... it was fine.

The day went flying off the tracks and slammed into a wall of flaming debris when the beautiful KMD (tbKMD) suggested we go see a movie. Since I had chosen our anniversary movie (The Dark Knight), it was her turn to pick. She suggested Mamma Mia! because it was one of the few films that didn't appear to involve a lot of people shooting one another. After a minimal amount of research I figured out that it was a chick flick and a musical, but I accepted my fate w/grace and good cheer, because that is the way Dolberry! rolls when it comes to the marital relationship.

SPOILER ALERT -- About to reveal plot of movie




Ok. That was the plot. Worse than that ... they sang ABBA songs the whole time. Worse than that Pierce Brosnan and Meryl Streep were in it. The whole movie careened from one ABBA song to the next with no apparent plan for what was to come next. The lead actress had a smile that was far more sinister than Heath Ledger's Joker. One old guy showed his butt for no reason. There was a scene in which Meryl Streep jumped on a bed like it was a trampoline and went through about 200 costume changes in a 90 second span, all the time singing, and that was probably the "best" scene in the movie. The estrogen was literally oozing off the screen and pooling in the aisles (if estrogen does such a thing) in a massive 12 foot storm surge of girlyness.

Anyway, the league office has handed tbKMD an eight movie suspension from picking our off-Friday matinees. She plans to appeal.

It did give me an idea though. The whole thing might have worked had they set the songs to a more accomplished band ... like, say ... Def Leppard. Picture this:

John Goodman as Gunter;
John Travolta as Glieben;
Vin Diesel as Glauten;
and Winona Ryder as Globen.

Gunter, Glieben, and Glauten are competing chefs in a fancy French culinary competition to see who can make the best cake, but they need some extra sugar, and a cute singing goat tells them that there's this lady in Majorca who has this special confectioner's sugar that will guarantee them a win. They race to the island and meet the beautiful Globen on a picturesque beach and they all start singing "Pour Some Sugar on Me".

After that, they all get their picture in one of those booths you find in the mall while singing "Photograph".

But after that, Glieben makes a pass at Globen which is rejected, so he sings "Love Bites".

We need something upbeat after that pathos-saturated scene, so Goodman/Gunter sings "Animal" while (why not) walking through a zoo.

Hmmm, Globen can't believe everyone wants her special sucrose/fructose mix and in a touching scene sings "Hysteria".

Then ... I don't know ... um ... let's say there's a big wave which wipes out half the island and the whole cast sings "Armeggedon It" while dancing.

But then it turns out that was a dream sequence, so the whole cast sings "Foolin".

In the climatic scene, there's a choreographed fight scene on the Rock of Gibralter where Gunter, Glieben, and Glauten fall to their deaths while dualing/singing to "Rock of Ages".

Globen then sings a reprise of "Pour Some Sugar on Me" but sadder this time, because she'd grown to love those crazy French chefs. And then she sings "Too Late for Love", because there's still about 10 minutes left in the movie.

But then the three chefs triumphantly emerge from the surf below and are tearfully, but still dancingly, reunited with Globen. And Gunter proposes to her. And she accepts. And they all sing "Pour Some Sugar on Me" again with fireworks in the flaming sunset.

As the credits roll ... over "Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad" we'll toss in a scene in which the actors sing and throw cake at each other with super-huge grins.

I might go see that ...

Top 10 songs that you wouldn't think Dolberry likes, but he does

10: The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down - Joan Baez
9: You're the One that I Want - Olivia Newton John and John Travolta
8: Forever in Blue Jeans - Neil Diamond
7: Beer for My Horses - Toby Keith and Willie Nelson
6: Falling Down - Atreyu
5: Hey Ya! - OutKast
4: Wide Open Spaces - Dixie Chicks
3: I Got You Babe - Sonny and Cher
2: Since U Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson
1: Staying Alive - The Bee Gees

Just so you know ....