My memories of 2012: Spring training trip

[Note: This started out as a countdown of Dolberry's favorite days of 2012, but that proved too hard to compile, as there were about 20-25 really great days that were hard to distinguish in terms of their greatness.  This trip alone would have probably had 4 of the top 20 days.  So it's been converted to a non-countdown compendium of memories of the year.]

Our mostly annual spring training trip is the light at the end of the tunnel for Dolberry when it comes to winter.  Winter is about 100 days of dry itchy skin w/ too little time spent outdoors.  It's going to work in the dark and coming home in the dark with too much gray in between.  Most of all it's too routine.  Each day's outcome can be predicted in advance w/ appreciable precision.  It is dull, duller, dullest.  So, it's nice to have a guiding star that can lead Dolberry (like a modern day Magi) to where he needs to be ... Spring.

This year's trip came with even more anticipation than usual.  We'd missed the trip in 2011, plus the Lally family was going to be joining us for part of it.  The trip started inauspiciously as we started late after waiting out a really rough baseball game from the Grace Eagles.  By the time we got on the road, it was close to 7p and we had reservations in a Savannah hotel for the night.  The trip went by relatively fast, because Dolberry was able to spend the first 3-4 hours recounting to APD all the mistakes his team had made in the game.  But we got a nice night's sleep and this day doesn't really count against the vacation anyway.

It's so much easier to drive to Orlando in a day when you start from GA rather than NC.  We even had time for a lunch detour to a deserted and windswept Flagler Beach to see the ocean for the first time in a long time.

We picked up Gma and Gpa from the airport, met up w/ the Lallys at their Disney hotel and grabbed some dinner at one of the approximately 6,000 restaurants in that part of Orlando.  I recall APD's portion of the meal costing something like $30 and involving steak chased by a gooey chocolaty dessert.  [Dolberry wonders how this profligate creature could have emanated from tbKMD who I was once able to take on a date for under $4.]  Later that night we played our annual putt-putt game.  As far as I remember, Dolberry won as usual.

Thursday was Magic Kingdom day.  We seem to go to Disney every 10 years: 1992 (honeymoon), 2002 (work trip), and now 2012.  Maybe we'll have to go back in 2022 for our 30th anniversary ... assuming the too-expensive-to-travel-with APD is out of the house by then.  What a great day.  The memories run together in a blur ... getting on the Disney shuttle ... Main Street ... Tomorrowland ... the speedway cars ... tea cups ... Space Mountain w/ APD, Gpa, and PSparky ... a pleasant boat ride ... a calming riverboat ride ... Pirates of the Caribbean ... Splash Mountain ... the Main Street parade ... a fireworks show that was too much for some of our travelling party ... more speedway cars ... and a return shuttle w/ sleeping kids and all-but-sleeping adults.  Too much fun.

Friday started w/ some hey-the-water-is-warmer-than-the-air pool time w/ APD and Gpa and an IHOP breakfast where Dolberry had a concoction based on this literary classic.  APD had like $12 dollars worth of bacon and pancakes.  Then we went to a Spring Training game between the Blue Jays and the Astros in Kissimmee.  We were in the first or second row and one of the Jays gave a ball to Ro, leading to my favorite picture from the whole trip.

After the game, it was a tearful goodbye to the Lally's and the drive to Sarasota.  We decided to take the back roads to avoid running into any more steakhouses and we got to experience a blinding rainstorm, a super long train, and the feeling of being helplessly lost in the swamplands of west-central Florida.  Eventually we got there and had dinner w/ some of the Fitzgerald-Bakers.  At that point, I was too tired to care what APD ate.  (Sadly, the responsible men and women at MasterCard did care.)

Saturday was more time w/ the F-B's and a beautiful afternoon at the Pirates game in Bradenton followed by an amazing sunset at Siesta Key.  Then we got to watch Louisville win the Big East tournament as Peyton Siva and Co., got geared up for their Final Four run.

Sunday always comes too fast on this trip.  We headed up to Clearwater for the annual cheesesteak gorging.  It's the one foodstuff Dolberry can still outeat his son in.  Always great just hanging w/ Gpa and Gma before the long ride home.  I think we got home around 3a.  I'm still tired.

P.S.

Haters, hooligans, and hoodies

All of the words in the title of this post start w/ "h".  None of the words in the title have anything to do with what I'm going to blog about below.

A cursory check of the internet has informed me that a King Lear once said that "nothing will come from nothing".  As far as I know, this statement has divided scholars for centuries.  But it has never seemed more relevant to me than right now.  Primarily ... duh ... because I just heard of it a few minutes ago when I googled "nothing" in an effort to make a point here.  Try to keep up!

Anyway, I am sad for you.  I am *literally* sad for all of you who are not Dolberry.  And that is all of you.  While nothing but nothing has come from your nothingness, something has come from the something that is Dolberry. 

What is that something?  I am going to tell you.  And in doing so, I hope it sparks something in you.  Maybe it'll spark everything in you.  If that's even possible.  Which it isn't.

Before I do that, here's another quote from the King ... just to show you that I have significant and fearsome cut & paste talents.

And, to deal plainly, I fear I am not in my perfect mind.

On to the primary point of the blog post.  Spandau Ballet.

Does anyone remember Spandau Ballet?  (I mentioned them in the previous sentence, if that helps jog your memory.)  They were a British band from the early 80's.  This was in the heyday of Dolberry's countdown days and I was a huge fan (figuratively) of the British Invasion bands.  I was a fan of truly ridiculous British music.  I'm looking at you Thompson "Twins" ... all three of you. 

But I never liked Spandau Ballet.  They seemed to be pitched as a band that "you should like".  I'm not aware of anyone who actually liked them.  Their band name has to be one of the snobbiest of all time. 

Impromptu countdown of snobbiest band names ever (w/ ~ 1 minute of research):

5 - The Dream Academy

4 -  Orchestral Manoeuvers In The Dark

3 - Pet Shop Boys

2 -Spandau Ballet

1 - USA for Africa

 
Anyway, SB basically had one big hit "True".  Sample lyrics:

I bought a ticket to the world,
But now I've come back again.
Why do I find it hard to write the next line?
When I want the truth to be said...

Ehh ... if you say so Spandau Ballet.  This song reached #4 on the US charts for no apparent reason ... while truly inspirational songs like "In a Big Country" topped off at #17.

I am but a man.  More sinned against than sinning.  - Lear

So, if you've watched any of the NCAA tournament this year, you've seen the truly ridiculous car commercial where 4 of the bozoiest looking bozos you've ever seen are all crooning along w/ the car radio's tinny version of "True" w/ the passion of freedom fighters on the verge of toppling a longstanding tyrant.  Well ... three of them are singing.  One of them (the driver) is turning down the car radio (gasp!) to explain something boring about the car.  Then the dude in the backseat, says something like ... "That's Spandau Ballet, man!" as his wife scowls disapprovingly from the shotgun seat. 

How's this relate to Dolberry?  I'll tell you how.  Dolberry is rocking the Twittersphere.  Dolberry is actually rocking the entire Twitterdromeda.  One of the dozen or so people I follow on Twitter, tweeted this sometime last week:

Joe Posnanski: I guess @king_kaufman has tackled this, but I find myself rooting for a car fire during that "Spandau Ballet" commercial.

Dolberry ... as the expert on 80's music ... responded with:

@Dolberry:  How did the only 3 Spandau Ballet fans in the world end up in the same car?#seemsimprobable @JPosnanski @king_kaufman

Then later that day @king_kaufman retweeted my tweet!  I got an e-mail informing me of the fact.  I had never been re-tweeted before.

I don't really know who @king_kaufman is (seems like a decent enough guy), but he has like 3000 followers ... which is 2995 more followers than I have ... and 2999 more followers than I have that actually know how to use Twitter.  (Thanks for hanging in there @opurt11!)

So while you guys have been doing nothing.  I have been doing something.

I am not exaggerating

One blog post back and the same old tired criticism emerges from Dolberry's cadre of cantankerous critics ... "too much pointless alliteration" ... "too negative" ... "too positive" ... "too in between negative and positive" ... et cetera.

The most hurtful criticism is the one that claims Dolberry is prone to hyperbole.  If anything, I'm guilty of placidbole when it comes to my recent equivalating of Chicago weekend traffic to childbirth.  Here's one of Dolberry's favorite moments from our summer's vacation ... a fat guy running down the Eisenhower Expressway smoking a cigar in the middle of crawling Friday afternoon rush hour traffic.

We left Naperville about 1a that Friday morning and got to Cellular Field in time for the 7th inning stretch.

I'm ready. I'm ready for the laughing gas.

Dolberry watched the U2 documentary "From the Sky Down" about the making of Achtung Baby last Friday.  I think I've recounted this before on the DCV, but the first time I listened to that album was literally one of the most disappointing experiences of my life.  Dolberry remembers it like it was yesterday.  TbKMD, Lynne our Billiken Friend, and Dolberry were headed from Chicago to St. Louis for the weekend.

It strikes me that this particular drive is sort of a metaphor for life ... getting out of downtown Chicago on a Friday night is a task at least as hard as escaping the birth canal.  That traumatic experience is followed by a prolonged period of alternating bursts between going 70 mph and being stone-dead-stopped through the suburbs (ages 1 day to 21 years).  Then you get a mind-numbingly long stretch of dull routine where your best hope is to steal small moments of joy at ridiculous Illinois town names before you recidivate into barest minimal consciousness (ages 21 years until retirement).  Then there's the really scary part where you go thru East St. Louis and hope you don't get killed (death).  Then, finally after all that you get to St. Louis (heaven ... well ... heaven if heaven smells like mashed grain and the sky's kinda slate gray).

Anyway, Dolberry had armed himself for that particular drive by going to a record store (look it up) and buying the latest cassette (look it up) from Bono, Edge, Adam, and Larry.  As soon as we hit that part of the drive where you could put it in cruise control ... I took the tape out of its pristine and as-yet-unbroken case (generally cassette tape cases were meticulously designed to break after approximately 2.8 uses on average ... their structural integrity depended upon the sparsest prong of plastic that the record companies could engineer w/ late '80s technology) and loaded in Achtung Baby with an anticipation that rivaled my wedding day ... which technically hadn't happened yet ... and never would've had ... had I acknowledged the above sentiment at any point prior to the aforementioned wedding day.

In the documentary, Bono notes that the band went into the studio smarting from the reaction engendered by their previous album ... "Rattle and Hum" ... which was generally viewed as uncool Americana, pretentious, and "overly earnest".  Musically, their strategy was to sample more of the industrial German rock that was prevalent in Europe at the time.  Stylistically, they decided that if they were going to be branded as pretentious anyway ... they'd play it to the hilt and thus Bono went ubiquitous w/ the sunglasses, dropped the mullet for sideburns (sniff), and added a few tablespoons of swagger to his already large personality.  The theme of the movie is built on one of Bono's quotes about the making of the album ...

"You have to reject one expression of the band, first, before you get to the next expression, and in between you have nothing, you have to risk it all."

So, as the Achtung Baby tape whirrs its first sounds ... an instantly disconcerting discord of noise that sounds like the 2nd shift at an assembly line leading into "Zoo Station".

Bono: "I'm ready.  I'm ready for the laughing gas."
Dolberry: What the WHAT?!?

Driving on the flat expanse of I-55, the rest of my Achtung Baby experience went downhill faster than the steepest slopes coming out of Joshua Tree National Park.  With the exception of "The Fly", which sounded passably enough like actual rock and roll to warrant another play, the rest of the experience was a Volquezian disaster.

Watching the movie and dodging Bono's fusillade of f-bombs, it dawned that the character sometimes known as Dolberry has become overly earnest ... dull ... and maybe even a little pretentious.  More responsibilities at work and church, while welcomed, have shaved a little off the bounce in the step.  It took 10 minutes of purposely frivolous thinking to even summon Dolberry to the blogwriting table tonight.  How does one balance the need for seriousness ... and wanting to accomplish things of meaning ... with the need to remain joyful in the present or near-present?  Is there a secret to enjoying the rural-Illinois stretch of mid-life (short of pharmaceutical cheating)?

In retrospect ... Dolberry superappreciates what a kicktuckus album that Achtung Baby is.  Two of the songs would probably find their way into Dolberry's Top 10 of all time ("Until the End of the World", "The Fly"); one of the songs is really good if you're in a sap-tacular mood ("One"); and at least two of them rock out solidly live ("Ultraviolet" and "Even Better than the Real Thing").  Maybe there's a life lesson here.  Maybe it's ok to be overly earnest at times while being overtly non-earnest elsewhile?  Maybe it's ok if people think you're full of crap at times.  Maybe if you embrace it.  Maybe if you have the greatest alter-ego in the world, it's ok to let me loose at times.

Stuff fell from the sky that should not have

 

So last Saturday, central North Carolina experienced one of its worst tornado outbreaks in known history.  Dolberry and crew were thankfully unaffected, but it was pretty amazing to watch on TV. 

Knew it was going to be a BIG weather day when the Storm Prediction Center put us in a "high" risk zone ... apparently for the first time since 1984.  (Honestly, I had no idea they'd been doing the daily severe risk thing that long.)  We'd started our day w/ a run w/ some of the Grace Christian XC team at the surprisingly alpine Lake Johnson and the weather had a decidedly non-severe feel (cool and damp).  But by 2p ... after some HeroClix fun in which the guy shown to the right went 0 for 3 games ... it was ominously warm and windy.

By the time we got home, the tornadoparazzi was already at ToRCoN 8 with reports of twisters to the northwest of Durham.  Dolberry and APD were glued to the Doppletron 5000 and had our eyes affixed to a cell SW of Apex near Carthage which appeared to be a supercell beginning to hook.  Not long afterward, a tornado warning was issued for the storm as it touched down just south of Sanford.  Extrapolating the storm's path to the northeast appeared to bring it awfully close to Apex but maybe just to the south. 

It got pretty scary as the storm headed closer and the NWS issued a tornado warning w/ the first location listed as being impacted Apex, but as it got closer it became more certain that it was going to go to our south.  We had the pillows all ready to get into the interior closet.  (We actually went in for about 30 secs when the wind started to gust and the hail reached dime size, but it was a clear false alarm from a panicky Dolberry.)

After the all clear, we exhaled w/ relief and watched the storms ravage areas to our east.  WRAL showed the mesocyclone (w/ a rain-wrapped tornado hidden inside) approach downtown Raleigh from the 36th floor of a skyscaper.  It's bizarre to be able to watch such devastation on live TV.  The Raleigh tornado stayed on the ground an amazing 63 miles ... the longest of the 28 in NC that day.  (As large as the outbreak was ... it only had ~ 20% of the tornadoes of April 3rd, 1974 and there were no F4 or F5s.)

The next day was amazing.  All through Apex/Cary, including our backyard, there were damp gobs of yellow insulation scattered around ... presumably from ripped up roofs and buildings upwind.  At my softball game, there was a pizza-box-sized piece of jagged roof w/ a curved nail in it.  Who knows how far that thing was thrown?  We drove across the tornado path on Tuesday to get to softball in south Cary.  Storm was only a F0 at that point, but there were several roofs damaged and many large branches down.

The videos of the storms were plentiful and impressive.  One very cool one was from a 12 year old from Apex from his iPhone on I-95 heading down to FL.  The most hysterical tornado video of all time was shot near Wilson NC.  I have links to both on the right.  Both camera operators had no clue how strong a tornado is ... and were pretty amazed when the thing ultimately bore in on them.  Amazing that they both survived, but maybe that's a nice way to approach the storms that affect all of us in life.  They're just twistin'.

Dolberry profiling

So a few weeks back … my boss encouraged me and two others in my group to take a class being offered here at EPA called “Stepping up to Supervision”. It got off to an embarrassing start because Dolberry assumed it was a step aerobics class from the Fitness Center… so he reported to the gym that first morning … then had to be directed to a conference room … entering to a room full of laughs … as if people have never seen a grown man rock the green leotard look at work before. Oh well …
Turns out it was a class designed to help staff-level EPA drones to consider what “steps” they need to take to be ready for “supervision”. Thus the name … which does make some sense in hindsight. Since Dolberry is 0 for 2 in his applications for EPA supervisory positions, I decided to stick around … though I could probably could have used the exercise more … and after a while the leotards started bunching up w/ all the sitting.

One of the main elements of the class was the PROFILOR Feedback Report where one is anonymously rated over a series of questions by one’s boss and select peers. Out of 150+ skills deemed important in the workplace, here were Dolberry’s top 10. (Countdown! Hooray!!)


10 - Efficiently prepares written materials (glad they didn’t poll DCV readers re: efficiency)
9 - Prepares reports thoroughly and completely
8 - Gets the job done
7 - Gets work done on time
6 - Is an effective contributor
5 - Accomplishes a great deal
4 - Behaves in accordance w/ professional standards
3 - Delivers well-prepared presentations
2 - Contributes fair share of effort to team’s work
1 - Treats people w/ respect

And my bottom 10 (1 is what I was lowest rated for)

10 – Candidly provides others constructive feedback when appropriate
9 – Anticipates problems and develops contingency plans
8 – Stimulates creative thinking in others
7 – Analyzes problems from different points of view
6 – Uses formal channels in organization to get things done
5 – Is assertive
4 – Influences and shapes the decisions of others
3 – Knows when to stand firm and when to compromise
2 – Monitors progress of others and redirects as appropriate
1 – Clarifies roles & responsibilities w/ team members

Anyway, I’m trying to be more assertive while maintaining Dolberry’s nice guy persona. Some people are very effective at this … so my plan is to simply mimic them. My problem is I tend to take it too personally when my opinions are not valued … or when other people have better solutions/ideas. If anyone has any suggestions as to how they deal w/ being confidently assertive at work w/o coming across as a jerk and accepting when one’s advice isn’t taken … I’m open to ideas.

Fumbling our confidence

One of the big news stories at the beginning of the week was how the American people's confidence in the American government was at an all-time low.  Guess the political gridlock and hyperpartisanship have left many feeling that our best days as a nation may be in the past.  Who knows?  Did find it interesting that this story didn't get as much play ...

U.S. government's confidence in American people is at an all time low:


The White House announced today, on behalf of all three branches of the U.S. government, that the country's managers had less confidence in the American people than at any other time in the nation's existence.  Only 23% of the government indicated that they had "considerable" or "some" confidence in the people for whom they are responsible.  16% of those surveyed within the government said that they thought the American populace, as a whole, were "dumber than dirt".  Typical among those voting in that category was Congressman Boone V. McMoneybags (D-NJ) who said his last shreds of faith in the American people were torn this past election when he ran a commercial portraying his opponent as an closet orphanage arsonist ... and saw his polling deficit of 7 points turn into a resounding Election Night victory.  "When my advisers approached me with that one, I laughed 'em out of the office.  But boy was I wrong.  Voters aren't as discriminating as they once were.  Thank goodness."  Senator Jimmy Dan Oilwell (R-TX) agreed.  "I thought I'd catch at least some flak for voting to allow mountain top blasting in Rocky Mountain National Park.  Hell, even I didn't feel good about it.  But thankfully the vote was on the same night that they eliminated that lady w/ 12 kids from the dancing show.  Page 8, pardner.  Page 8." 

Hey, for Earth Week (the Earth is too important to be relegated to a single day's celebration at EPA), I ran in the EPA Fun Run 5K Race for the Earth and Rabies Awareness this morning.  I trained for this by not running at all for two months and eating butter-covered waffles for breakfast.  Dolberry didn't think he could actually run 5 straight K's w/o walking but it turns out I can.  I even sprinted in to beat this person I work with ... I've found that it's always good to bring the full bore effort to everyone else's Fun Run.  Dolberry only has one speed ... all out baby!  It was my slowest 5K time ever (29 min) but I'm pretty sure I won the old fat guy division.

I had to beg my way on to the bus w/ only my good looks earlier this week ... having left my wallet at home.  Took some work but I got on ... though still a little sore from grasping the back bumper so tightly.

Ha ... despite my own attempts to jinx myself, I got another 3 hits last night.  Five straight games.  I'm really beginning to believe that softball is a lot easier than I've been making it out to be all these years.

Have a great Thursday everyone.  Remember we were meant to live.