Wednesday, December 30, 2009

tbKMD reminded me of five more gaffes so it's now a Top 25 countdown

25 - This summer in a tournament softball game I rounded 3rd and headed to the dugout thinking an out, the third out of the inning, had been made at first. Alas, I was soon surprised to find myself being tagged for the third out. We were up by eight at the time and ended up losing. Ugh.



24 - Freshman year at SLU, left my weather radio on when left over T-giving break, forgetting about the weekly tests of the alarm that occurred on Friday. Apparently, the few people who stayed behind for the holiday couldn't get into my room to turn it off for over a day. Another black eye for meteorologists.


23 - Junior year at Trinity. Honors English w/ Fr. Caster (doo-daddy-doo man, or something like that). Easy class. Even more so when I inadventently left my vocab book wide open on my desk while taking a vocab quiz. Fr. Caster's reaction upon detecting this ... "Maniac!"


22 - Dislocating my shoulder for the 11th? (have lost track) time while doing flips off a diving board in Siler City. Think I was 37 or 38 at the time and it was about the 37th or 38th dive of the day that ended badly. Stupid!


21 - Throwing a marble through our family room window when I was a teenager. Remember it like it was yesterday ... stepped on this marble ... right on my arch ... hurt ... Dolberry angry ... marble at fault ... hurl marble ... wait ... hurl marble in other direction ... too late ... crash ... El Cuerta? ... not happy.

20 - One of our first Xmas'es down in NC, tbKMD and I went to get a tree.  Dolberry tied it to the roof through the closed car doors w/ the windows down ... forcing me to have to climb out that same window to escape (and get scissors) upon arriving home.

19 - Getting a massive sunburn in San Diego right before having to spend the day on a plane flying back to Chicago. Then went double-down on the gaffe by going to Northwestern hospital ER at 2am that night ... only to be laughed out of ER by doctors w/ a recommendation to take a Tylenol.


18b - Think I was in 3rd grade, so it was probably Goldsmith elementary. Along w/ a schoolmate, had connected three straws together into a sword and were swashbuckling our way through lunch only to have the duel prematurely end when my sword violently disconnected and landed in the teacher's tray two tables over.


18a - You'd think Dolberry would have learned w/ the straws, but no. Crowded Chicago movie theater ... Dolberry chewing on his straw ... goes flying out of mouth ... onto lap of patron in row in front of me. No words exchanged. None needed really.


17 - One cold January day (~ 15 degrees) in Des Plaines, workers accidentally ignited a fire up on the roof. Dolberry smells smoke and calmly evacuates w/o his winter coat. Don't get back into office for several days due to smoke damage and clean up. Brrrr!


16 - First day at new job at Region 5 EPA in Chicago, I got on the wrong southbound train heading out of the Loop. Train blows right by my apartment at about 40 mph stopping only upon reaching East Chicago ... which is in Indiana.


15 - Early date with tbKMD (tbKMB at the time), Dolberry goes to movies w/o his wallet. tbKMB less then impressed. Odds of tbKMB ever becoming tbKMD at that point .... 5000 to 1.


14 - Sunday morning massacre. Crashed into two separate cars leaving church. Interestingly, I almost backed into someone while leaving church a few months ago here in Apex. Obviously, Dolberry needs to spend more time praying about safely exiting the parking lot.


13 - Junior year at Trinity ... Covington Catholic Invitational ... for some unknown reason Dolberry bolts to the lead (> 100 other runners) ... so unaccustomed to running in front I run off course ... even taking shortcut (Coach Kahl called me "Cutter" for the rest of the year) I can't hold lead for more than a half mile, eventually fading to 40th place. Even Leary beats me. Wow.

12 - APD and tbKMD had come up to visit me in Shepherdstown WV over the weekend while I was in a two week training class.  Sunday afternoon we decided to head out to the Antietam battlefield site which Dolberry knew was close.  We drove for about an hour and a half in various directions before finding it.  Upon leaving the battlefield park, we see a sign that says: Shepherdstown -- 4 miles.

11 - Junior year at SLU. Come home to Louisville w/ friends (Matt?, Tom?) to attend KY Derby. Trying to showoff and play the role of experienced local, Dolberry advises buying race program outside the track claiming they'll be much cheaper than inside ... only to find out exact opposite is true less than two minutes later.


10 - Working at MCNC (1998) ... big presentation ... Dolberry spends several hours loading multiple animations onto workstation prior to talk ... only to trip over cable ... disconnecting machine and sending the needed animations into the ether. Disasterously attempted to solider on. If a picture is worth a thousand words ... it makes sense that a missing animation can't be described w/ ten thousand.

9 - Inadvertently stole a guy's dog once while getting breakfast at Bojangles.  The old pup was just wandering around the dumpster while (unbeknownst to me) his owner was in the restaurant.  Dolberry took Buddy home and called the owner who had been quite saddened to have his pet dognapped while eating breakfast. 

8 - Looking through a photo album w/ tbKMD's sister, Shelly. (Note: Dolberry spaces out whenever forced to look at other people's pictures for more than 30 seconds. Some sort of survival instinct honed from growing up w/ La Shutterbugga.) Shown picture of then newborn, now superstar, Gracie on a blanket, Dolberry remarks absentmindedly ... "so, that was after she was born?"


7 - Dolberry is night-running along Chicago lakefront. Unbeknownst to me, mugging had taken place on the path earlier that morning. Am ambushed by TV crew who want an interview. Reporter asks why I'm running in dark, by myself, w/ headphones, in same place as earlier incident. Winded Dolberry confusedly replies ... "Uhhhh ... I work in the day." Dolberry's doofus quote featured in lead 10p news story.


6 - SLU again ... went out to western suburbs to play some football at a park w/ friends... walking over to park from Evans' house along some busy road ... Dolberry launches an errant pass ... which takes an unfortunate and had-to-be-seen-to-believed bad bounce ... right into a passing car's passenger's side mirror ... dislodging the mirror from its rightful place on the car. (Matt Jung ran about a quarter of a mile to catch the driver at a stoplight and presented her w/ her now-standalone mirror.)


5 - The Incident at Berghoff's4 - Summer of 1987 ... first trip out to visit tbKMD's family. Meet up w/ some of tbKMD's high school friends. Some of which still have feelings for tbKMD ... who's still tbKMB at the time. Dolberry trying to be on his studliest behavior but status takes a hit when I inadvertently tip the raft containing all the group's beverages ... which quickly submerge to bottom of Salt River never to be seen again.


3. Senior year in high school ... March 1984 ... first trip out to SLU to visit campus. Must have been a Friday in Lent because ordered a fish sandwich from Wendy's near campus. Accidentally drop my square of fish on restaurant floor ... too cheap to get another one and too hungry not to eat. End up vomiting over most, if not all of the 240 miles of I-64 shoulder upon return to Louisville that evening. Why Dolberry? Why?

2. 2002 Kentucky Derby party ... everyone gathered around the TV but strangely ... no one's cheering for War Emblem as he goes wire-to-wire for victory.  Why not?  Dolberry inadvertently left him out of the blind draw.  Probably the only Derby party that day to award the big prize to Proud Citizen (who finished 2nd).

1. January 18th, 2000 ... Apex gets a small snowfall (~3") ... lot of fun ... Dolberry gets his snow shovel out for maybe the first time ever in NC to shovel the snow together to make a snowman ... and leaves the shovel out in the yard ... where it is later unfindable ... buried by the 20" snow that falls one week later.

Top 20 Dolberry gaffes

As a young lad, one of Dolberry's favorite things about the post-Xmas, pre New Year's season was the preponderance of countdowns ranking the best things of the year (songs, movies, sports moments, etc.).  Even today, I'm clicking on many a link listing the top whatever of the decade.  For better or worse, countdowns have long been a Dolberry staple.  Another core element of who I am is the occasional magnitude 7 or higher gaffe.  Not sure exactly how to define "gaffe" here ... but the essence is thoughtlessly stupid actions that lead to minor yet embarassing consequences.  Hey, we all make mistakes right? 

Bringing the gaffe together w/ the countdown ... here are the Top 20 Dolberry gaffes I could think of ... sadly in only about 10 minutes of light recollection.

20 - This summer in a tournament softball game I rounded 3rd and headed to the dugout thinking an out, the third out of the inning, had been made at first.  Alas, I was soon surprised to find myself being tagged for the third out.  We were up by eight at the time and ended up losing.  Ugh.

19 - Freshman year at SLU, left my weather radio on when left over T-giving break, forgetting about the weekly tests of the alarm that occurred on Friday.  Apparently, the few people who stayed behind for the holiday couldn't get into my room to turn it off for over a day.  Another black eye for meteorologists.

18 - Junior year at Trinity.  Honors English w/ Fr. Caster (doo-daddy-doo man, or something like that).  Easy class.  Even more so when I inadventently left my vocab book wide open on my desk while taking a vocab quiz.  Fr. Caster's reaction upon detecting this ... "Maniac!"

17 - Dislocating my shoulder for the 11th? (have lost track) time while doing flips off a diving board in Siler City.  Think I was 37 or 38 at the time and it was about the 37th or 38th dive of the day that ended badly.  Stupid!

16 - Throwing a marble through our family room window when I was a teenager.  Remember it like it was yesterday ... stepped on this marble ... right on my arch ... hurt ... Dolberry angry ... marble at fault ... hurl marble ... wait ... hurl marble in other direction  ... too late ... crash ... El Cuerta? ... not happy.

15 - Getting a massive sunburn in San Diego right before having to spend the day on a plane flying back to Chicago.  Then went double-down on the gaffe by going to Northwestern hospital ER at 2am that night ... only to be laughed out of ER by doctors w/ a recommendation to take a Tylenol.

14b - Think I was in 3rd grade, so it was probably Goldsmith elementary.  Along w/ a schoolmate, had connected three straws together into a sword and were swashbuckling our way through lunch only to have the duel prematurely end when my sword violently disconnected and landed in the teacher's tray two tables over.

14a - You'd think Dolberry would have learned w/ the straws, but no.  Crowded Chicago movie theater ... Dolberry chewing on his straw ... goes flying out of mouth ... onto lap of patron in row in front of me.  No words exchanged.  None needed really.

13 - One cold January day (~ 15 degrees) in Des Plaines, workers accidentally ignited a fire up on the roof.  Dolberry smells smoke and calmly evacuates w/o his winter coat.  Don't get back into office for several days due to smoke damage and clean up.   Brrrr!

12 - First day at new job at Region 5 EPA in Chicago, I got on the wrong southbound train heading out of the Loop.  Train blows right by my apartment at about 40 mph stopping only upon reaching East Chicago ... which is in Indiana.

11 - Early date with tbKMD (tbKMB at the time), Dolberry goes to movies w/o his wallet.  tbKMB less then impressed.  Odds of tbKMB ever becoming tbKMD at that point .... 5000 to 1.

10 - Sunday morning massacre.  Crashed into two separate cars leaving church.  Interestingly, I almost backed into someone while leaving church a few months ago here in Apex.  Obviously, Dolberry needs to spend more time praying about safely exiting the parking lot.

9 - Junior year at Trinity ... Covington Catholic Invitational ... for some unknown reason Dolberry bolts to the lead (> 100 other runners) ... so unaccustomed to running in front I run off course ... even taking shortcut (Coach Kahl called me "Cutter" for the rest of the year) I can't hold lead for more than a half mile, eventually fading to 40th place.  Even Leary beats me.  Wow.

8 - Junior year at SLU.  Come home to Louisville w/ friends (Matt?, Tom?) to attend KY Derby.  Trying to showoff and play the role of experienced local, Dolberry advises buying race program outside the track claiming they'll be much cheaper than inside ... only to find out exact opposite is true less than two minutes later.

7 - Working at MCNC (1998) ... big presentation ... Dolberry spends several hours loading multiple animations onto workstation prior to talk ... only to trip over cable ... disconnecting machine and sending the needed animations into the ether.  Disasterously attempted to solider on.  If a picture is worth a thousand words ... it makes sense that a missing animation can't be described w/ ten thousand.

6 - Looking through a photo album w/ tbKMD's sister, Shelly.  (Note: Dolberry spaces out whenever forced to look at other people's pictures for more than 30 seconds.  Some sort of survival instinct honed from growing up w/ La Shutterbugga.)  Shown picture of then newborn, now superstar, Madeline on a blanket, Dolberry remarks absentmindedly ... "so, that was after she was born?"

5 - Dolberry is night-running along Chicago lakefront.  Unbeknownst to me, mugging had taken place on the path earlier that morning.  Am ambushed by TV crew who want an interview.  Reporter asks why I'm running in dark, by myself, w/ headphones, in same place as earlier incident.  Winded Dolberry confusedly replies ... "Uhhhh ... I work in the day."  Dolberry's doofus quote featured in lead 10p news story.

4 - SLU again ... went out to western suburbs to play some football at a park w/ friends... walking over to park from Evans' house along some busy road ... Dolberry launches an errant pass ... which takes an unfortunate and had-to-be-seen-to-believed bad bounce ... right into a passing car's passenger's side mirror ... dislodging the mirror from its rightful place on the car.  (Matt Jung ran about a quarter of a mile to catch the driver at a stoplight and presented her w/ her now-standalone mirror.)

3 - The Incident at Berghoff's

2 - Summer of 1987 ... first trip out to visit tbKMD's family.  Meet up w/ some of tbKMD's high school friends.  Some of which still have feelings for tbKMD ... who's still tbKMB at the time.  Dolberry trying to be on his studliest behavior but status takes a hit when I inadvertently tip the raft containing all the group's beverages ... which quickly submerge to bottom of Salt River never to be seen again.

1.  Senior year in high school ... March 1984 ... first trip out to SLU to visit campus.  Must have been a Friday in Lent because ordered a fish sandwich from Wendy's near campus.  Accidentally drop my square of fish on restaurant floor ... too cheap to get another one and too hungry not to eat.  End up vomiting over most, if not all of the 240 miles of I-64 shoulder upon return to Louisville that evening.  Why Dolberry? Why?

Monday, December 28, 2009

Learning to lose gracefully ...

... is a lesson that I'm unlikely to ever master.  Owl, I will get you next year.

Finished my Xmas book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller.  Great book.  I'll write more about it.  (Probably next year when I'll need an idea for a post and it'll count to my 2010 total.)

Work today wasn't too bad.  Went into it w/ the idea that it was still vacation, but I was just going to get some things done at work for nine hours.  That little trick plus no meetings on the calendar made for a nice productive yet relaxing day.

Dolberry is currently addicted to Muse.  I was aware of them prior to seeing them open for U2, but seeing them live increased my appreciation as has delving deeper into their catalogue.

My life
You electrify my life
Let's conspire to re-ignite
All the souls that would die just to feel alive

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Days 359 & 360 of the year were two of the most fun




Day 360:  Woke up late(ish) ... got free Chick-Fil-A ... all day Xmas games ... played Scotland Yard (3x) ... played SLAM card game ... HeroClix vs. APD ... watched all three bowl games ... and a hockey OT ... figured out things w/ APD iTouch ... downloaded Buehrle's perfect game onto it ... read some of this great book I got for Xmas ... tbKMD made one of my all-time favorite meals (Beef Stroganoff) ... played some Van Halen Guitar Hero ... furthest I travelled from the house was the trash can (maybe 20 steps).  Just a great day.




Day 359 was pretty great as well.  The usual fun (Xmas presents, Xmas presents), plus a trip out to Asheboro where we had a blast playing games w/ the crew out there.  Let Gracie win in Beatles Rock Band (and Apples to Apples).  Great food and great fun.



I'd say both were in the top 10 of the year ... but I'll spare you the countdown.




Sorry to hear about Urban Meyer.  Sounds like he could have used more day 359/360s in his life over the past 20 years.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

The parable of the six yard punt

The soul of the prideful man is like the Oregon State punter in last night's MAACO Las Vegas Bowl who struggled to kick the ball despite his best efforts due to a gusty wind.   He sat on the sideline in the first quarter and watched as the fearful wind tangled the Allstate kick-catching banner in the goalposts and brusquely disabled ESPN's celebrated skycam.  Later in the 1st quarter, he stood on the sidelines as his BYU counterpart attempted to launch a punt into the oncoming wind only to see the ball start to boomerang back towards its origin before it even reached the apex of its abbreviated flight.  Granted a second chance by a silly OSU penalty, the Cougar punter wisely tuned his second effort to a lower trajectory and managed a 35 yard punt w/ a good 20 yard bounce.  The teams switched ends for the 2nd quarter and it came to pass that the Beavers offense stalled and it was their turn to punt.  The OSU punter took the snap and boomed a beautiful arching drive high into the Nevada night.  Sadly, this punt also reversed course due to the arid gusts and ended a mere six yards from the original line of scrimmage. 

This greatly saddened Dolberry because he had picked Oregon State in his annual bowl contest against tbKMD and APD and this set the Cougars up in very favorable field position.  Moreover, it struck Dolberry that the six yard punt was sort of a metaphor for life ... sometimes we can give our best effort and outside forces conspire to turn it into a laughingstock.

Later in the same quarter, the OSU punter was called into action again with his team pinned back near their own end zone.  Again, he drew his kicking leg back and forcefully advected the pigskin some 40 yards up into the air but only six yards further down the field.  This second six yard punt greatly enraged Dolberry because BYU was pulling away and I am already way behind in the bowl contest (w/ only ~ 78 bowls left to catchup).  There's metaphor and there's moronicy and the Beaver punter had crossed the line.

- - -

Two Greek roots you never want to hear back to back ... "orth-" meaning straight and "odont-" meaning tooth.  The alliance of these two roots have conspired to set Dolberry back roughly $4.5 grand.  A Merry Christmas for the orthodontist indeed.

- - -

The NY Times manages to aggravate Dolberry to my boiling point (roughly 137 deg F, same as bromine) every few weeks or so.  Maureen Dowd's pointless and ungrounded attack on John McCain's character was the most recent entry.  The piece-de-resistance is where she tsk-tsks him for "cutting the Times off completely" and treating the media w/ "the same outsize scorn that he once reserved for his Viet Cong captors".  In true turn the other cheek fashion, Dolberry won't hazard any wild opinions on Dowd's potential character flaws, but I do think it's sort of a natural reaction to be disinclined to deal much w/ an organization that wrote a total hit piece hinting at marital infidelity (one for which they later had to settle to avoid a libel suit).  Guess its self-congratulating analyses like these that sell papers or generate web clicks ... "McCain's a frothing old man ... ha I knew it".  Anyway, the NYT has been removed from my bookmark list in protest.  That'll show 'em.
- - -

My favorite Christmas songs right now ... countdown:

5.  Happy is a Yuppie Word (Switchfoot):  Not technically a Christmas song, but the lyrics are never more appropriate than this time of year.  "Blessed is the man who's lost it all.  I want more than simple cash can buy."

4.  The Night Santa Went Crazy (Weird Al Yankovic):  Santa goes postal as a "yuletide Rambo".

3.  Hark the Herald Angels Sing (Weezer):  Standard Weezer guitar sound paired w/ best Xmas hymn.

2.  I Celebrate the Day (Relient K):  A modern classic.

1.  C'mon Let's Boogey to the Elf Dance (Sufjan Stevens):  The biblical Christmas story gets gradually drowned out by the modern Christmas meaning in competing overlapping melodies.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Glad to be home

Ended up getting home pretty easily.  The all-nighter at O'Hare wasn't too bad.  Got home.  Crashed for 3 hours.  Then slept for 9 last night and feel fine now.  In the end, I could have stuck w/ original arrangements as that flight ended up being right on time as Raleigh stayed pretty much at 33F w/ rain the whole event.

Today was getting blitzed at HeroClix and delivering AngelTree presents and then pizza delivery.  Good day all around. 

Friday, December 18, 2009

The Moving Walkway is now ending ... please look down

Random thoughts:

It takes 2:01 to traverse one of the people movers to ORD's Concourse C while standing still.  In that time you can hear the expression "the moving walkway is now ending ... please look down" 28 times.

Interestingly (or not), Barbaro won the 2006 Kentucky Derby in 2:01.

Tiger Woods' mother-in-law is named Barbaro (or something like that).  Interestingly (debatable), the Accenture ads w/ Tiger are all still up in the airports even though they've dropped him.  You've probably seen them.  They show Tiger looking over a small cliff at a golf ball he's clearly hit out of bounds w/ the tagline ... "It's what you do next that counts."  Real prescience on the part of that ad maker and unusual wisdom as well for marketing.  Some travelling wag had sophmorically stuck a sticky "who" over the "what" in the SFO version.

Re: the SFO airport, as I finished up going through security there tonight, Dolberry noticed his fly was open.  I wonder if the TSA gets that a lot ... take off your shoes ... remove your belt ... unzip your fly.  Doing my part for homeland security.

Food update: ate a 50's style diner for lunch today. Hamburger was fine but bun was still frozen in the middle. Was that standard in the 50's?

None of my Facebook friends are online to chat right now (3:14a).  Losers!  Only 4.5 more hours to kill.  Think I may go hang out at the 24hr McDonalds and see if I can make any new friends there.  Plan to finish the book I'm reading.  Interestingly (stop it), "experts" had notified the dam owners that their dam was likely to fail, but were harshly rebuffed as not knowing what they were talking about by those w/ vested interest in the lake and its associated lodge.  Many in Johnstown and other affected communities were aware of the risk, but had no power to do anything about it.  Over 2,000 people lost their lives needlessly in that case for something that was easily preventable but was sadly ... inconvienent.  (oh no you di'int!)

Thursday, December 17, 2009

San Fran (day 4)

Heading home early in an attempt to beat the big (maybe) winter storm to affect the mid-Atlantic tomorrow night.  My original plans called for a return around midnight, right in the period of heaviest wintry mix.  My new plans call for a return in the mid-morning, hopefully before the snow starts.  And as an added bonus, I get to spend the night at O'Hare.  Been there.  Blogged that.  It's supposed to snow in Chicago as well, but later on Friday and I think they're more used to snow.  Was afraid RDU would stop accepting flights & I'd be spending the weekend in Dallas.  Ugh.  (Did see the new stadium from the air on the way out here.  Looked cool.)

Anyway, I'd put the odds of me getting home tomorrow at 50-50.

Good presentations today, including one from the now famous Michael Mann (originator of so-called "trick" in hockey stick temperature plot).  Best part ... his resigned bemusement at the e-mail controversy being dubbed "Climategate" given that the original "gate" (Watergate) was all about the theft and this one has been all about what was taken ... w/ no attention paid to the theft itself. 

San Fran (day 3)

Another full day of talks, but afterwards headed down to Fisherman's Wharf.  About a 35 minute walk, but an extremely pleasant one.  San Francisco is a beautiful city (and certainly eclectic).  Looking back up at the city from Pier 39 is a spectacular sight.  Not sure I really saw any sea lions.  I did see their silouettes, if that counts.  Definitely heard them.  The Golden Gate Bridge was silhouetted too, but the Christmas lighted boats were very cool.  Good seafood tonight plus the Boudin sourdough (thx Sonia!) and a Ghirardelli's chocolate to close it all out.  The two mile walk uphill probably burned off 20% of it.

Last time I was at FW, it was w/ tbKMD in 1993.  Seemed very familiar once there.  Just wish I had my favorite hand to hold on this trip.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

San Fran (day 2)

Today was ~ 9 hours of talks/posters on climate change and other elements of atmospheric chemistry.  One speaker noted, as he spoke to a crowd of over one thousand, that these are the golden days of atmospheric science.  He said the community should be flattered that so many non-scientists are interested enough in what's being discovered to try to distort it to suit their own interests.  That's a glass half full attitude right there!  The DCV aims to be completely non-political, so I'll stop here on this subject other than to say that some of the presentations today were quite scary ... maybe not for Dolberry's generation ... but likely for APD's generation (guess every generation has its own challenges) & that if anyone ever wants to talk thru the subject w/ me ... I'm open to sharing what I know.

Other than that ... went to Chinatown post-conference.  Ate here.  Wasn't super awesome and there was a bug flying around the food, but felt that made it more authentic somehow.  Went in some of the knick-knacky stores ... and got a few stocking stuffer type things.  I think I'll go down to the water tomorrow.

My brilliant idea for the day ... undoubtedly influenced by the steady drumbeat of warming consequences ... is that the U.S. should buy out Canada (at least the English part).  I guess we don't have much money lying around now, but maybe we could put it on layaway.

Monday, December 14, 2009

San Fran (day 1)

Made it out here no problem.  Staying near Union Square.  Lots of fancy shopping.  An 8-story Macy's, Louis Vuitton, Gucci, and Prada.  (I didn't see the devil ... as far as I know.)  Lots of homeless as well.  Pretty much every corner.  Even a homeless dog on one corner.  Sad. 

I was out looking for dinner myself.  No restaurants in the shopping district, apparently.  Guess if you're going to shell out serious dollars to buy some fancy piece of clothing, you don't want to eat your way out of it.  Ended up getting a hot dog and pretzel from a street vendor.  Was only so-so.

My one thought for the day ... and I doubt it's a novel one ... but I was proud of it ... is that the question should never be "What do you want to be when you grow up?" but instead "What do you want your life to be about when you grow up?"

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Review of all the things I ate today

Chronologically:

1.  Powdered white donuts:  Very good.  Not stale.  Freshness is key w/ these little delicacies.  3 stars.

2.  Two slices of bacon:  Excellent. Thick slabs.  Not over or undercooked.  3.5 stars.

3.  Chicken tikka masala:  Wasn't especially excited about Indiana food for lunch but everyone else seemed to want it.  I guess this dish is from the Bloomington region.  Was pretty good.  3.5 stars.

4. Aloo gobhi: Interesting mix of cauliflower and potatoes.  Kinda spicy.  From Evansville part of Indiana apparently.  2.5 stars.

5. Naan: Fancy Indiana bread.  Fair.  3 stars.

6. Few Cheez-Its:  I didn't need to eat these.  3.5 stars.

7.  A few Goldfish sbuck away from Rowan when he wasn't looking.  2.5 stars.

8.  Few almonds:  Didn't need these at all.  2 stars.

9.  Salmon dip on Triscuits.  Interesting.  Better than sauerkraut balls.  3 stars.

10.  CSA salad:  This salad had something to do w/ the Confederate States of America but I never heard what that was.  Pretty good, though there were a lot of weird non-lettuce vegetables.  2.5 stars.

11. Veggie Manicotti:  Fine.  Could have used some meat.  2.5 stars.

12.  Mom's Lasagna:  Spectacular!  4 stars.

13.  Dinner rolls:  No wonder they were so expensive Owl!  Very good.  3 stars.

14.  Brownies:  Very very good.  3.5 stars.

15.  Chocolate chocolate chip cookies:  Excellent.  3 stars.

I'm going to try to eat 20 things tomorrow!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Too Bright to See ... Too Loud to Hear ... Too Old to Appreciate? No.

Every once in a while, it's good to get out of the routine and put yourself in an unfamiliar environment.  So, last night Dolberry headed over the Lincoln Theatre to catch an Underoath/August Burns Red/Emery triple bill w/ some friends from church.  Dolberry was not the oldest person there, but I was probably in the top 10.  Average age at the show was probably ~20.

As part of their end-of-the-decade recap, NPR's music blog listed 10 musical genres from this soon-to-be-past decade and the key artists of each.  Underoath was listed as the key artist in the "screamo" category.  Most songs include a 50/50 (20/80?) mix of normally sung lyrics and those shouted out in a growl/scream mix.  As an old geezer, I think less is more when it comes to screaming in a song.  My favorite scream in any rock song is over 40 years old and punctuates the searing beginning to the Beatles "Revolution".  I think the singularity of the scream is what makes the song.  In Dolberry's opinion, screaming in a song is sort of like using an exclamation point or all caps in text.  Last! NIGHT'S! CONCERT! was SOME!THING!! LIKE!!! TH!S!!!

That said, I do really enjoy 2.5 Underoath songs and they did two of them.  (During the show, I discovered another one that was good for most of it, so I'm bumping the tally up to 3.25 songs that Dolberry likes.)  Not coincidentally, these two songs probably contain the lowest ratio of lyrical action to total aural content.  Strangely, the lyrics are quite intelligent (for rock music) and all three bands had singers who appeared to sing just fine when the situation called for it.

Anyway, they don't need my advice.  The show was sold out (~ 1000 capacity?) and one of Underoath's albums debuted at #2 in Billboard a few years back.  For DCV readers, I'll link a video from the show on the sidebar.  (Facebook readers are on their own.)  If you look closely, I think you can see Dolberry in the circle pit.  I'm the one w/ multiple bright purple 33 dB reducing earplugs crammed into my ears.  (You can get two in your ear canal ... for 66 dB reduction ... if you force them.)

Whether it was Stockholm syndrome or a growing appreciation of screamo, I was enjoying the whole deal by the end.  Of course, I immensely enjoyed the company and conversations.  And while I'd spent most of the day somewhat anxious about the whole scene, can't underestimate how polite/respectful the entire crowd was while having considerable fun.  To quote some other old geezers ... the kids are alright.

(Unfortunately, the night was not w/o mishap.  Never again w/ the Taco Bell at 11:15.  Never! AGAIN!!.)

Saturday, November 21, 2009

APD did great in Apex Turkey Trot!

APD and the rest of tbKMD's running crew ran in the Apex Turkey Trot.  Nice weather and the whole team did a great job.  Alex came in 2nd in his age group, under 12, in a blazing time of 22:51.  Almost 7 full minutes faster than his first 5K last spring.  He was only nine seconds behind the age group winner.  The whole tbKMD team was way faster than their effort, so Coach was happy.  Some pics follow ...


(near beginning, Alex in yellow Sweden soccer jersey)




(looking good up the last hill, caught two people on the hill)


(going up to get his trophy from the Turkey)



(slightly closer view of trophy)

Monday, November 16, 2009

Live Blog: Browns on MNF (part 2)

11:03:  Castle was good.  Browns were not in my absence.  Good night.

"Live" Blog: Browns on MNF (part 1)

Haven't done a live blog in a while.  Probably for good reason.  But since the Browns probably won't be on Monday Night Football for another decade or so, am running it out here tonight.

8:32p: I like the fact that they referred to the Ravens as the "old Browns".  Baltimore fans should not be allowed to forget that they poached another fandom's team after complaining for over a decade about the Colts being stolen from them. 

8:35: You wouldn't think they could talk this much about a meaningless football game between a lousy team and a mediocre team, but they can. 

8:40: Finally kickoff.

8:40:01 First injury timeout.  Football is a ridiculous sport.  How many of these guys are still walking when they're Dolberry's age? Kinda sad.

8:43: Iron Man is Sherlock Holmes.  Might watch that.

8:46: Browns almost wasted a three and out w/ a senseless running into kicker penalty.  You'd presume that, even independent of any actual coaching, sometime in his life the Browns dude would've seen a football game where an announcer noted that you can't blithely run into the punter after he's punted it.  (Luckily, it was 3rd and 7, so the Ratbirds declined.)

8:53:  5 plays in 13 minutes of clock time?  And people say baseball is boring?!?  I still say instant replay is not worth the trouble.  Unless you enjoy more commercials.  And if it's at the expense of a Browns game, maybe I would.

8:54:  I like Brady Quinn.  Not sure why Mangenius played Anderson for the last five games.  Well actually, I am sure ... to avoid triggering Quinn's incentive clauses for games played.  Anyway, here's Anderson's stats for his games.  66 for 154 for 681 yds (less than 140 yds passing a game) and 9 interceptions to go w/ 2 touchdowns.  Kinda a lousy way to treat Quinn, but on the other hand it's not like he deserves a 10 million dollar bonus to throw nothing but screen passes.

8:58:  Cable keeps going in and out.  Typical.  Reminds me of a Billikens preseason game that was advertised to be streamed live for free.  Dolberry logged in about 10 minutes prior to game time.  The feed was from a camera pointed toward center court.  Saw the anthem.  Kinda saw the opening introductions.  Kept figuring someone would actually man the camera at some point.  Nope.  Game starts and all you can see is the players when they run past center court on their way to one of the baskets.  Hilarious!  I was literally laughing out loud.  Only the Billikens.  The camera operator did show up before the first TV timeout, but it kinda took away from the sophmoric charm of the first few minutes.  Turned it off shortly thereafter.

9:01:  5 minutes of football time took 21 minutes of real time.  At this pace the game will last well past midnight.  I'm only watching until Castle comes on.  tbKMD has me hooked on that show.  Funny.

9:05:  I love that Muse song "Uprising".  Makes me look forward to those "V" commercials. 

9:06:  26 minutes to play 6.  Thankfully, BAL is out of timeouts.  Flacco must be paid by the hour.

9:07:  Jon Gruden ... "Both teams appear to be out of sync."  Can't vouch for the Ratbirds, but this is how the Browns always look.

9:09:  Sidenote:  UK 72, Miami OH 70.  UK is just at the very beginning of their championship run.  First of six or seven championships, more than likely.  Looks like John Wall the Raleigh star who played at four different high schools here in four years (when not being arrested for breaking and entering or paying back $800 for interactions with professional agents) hit the game winner.

9:10: Mangenius sure was fired up about that missed Ratbird field goal.  Still 0-0.

9:21:  OK, I just had to ask APD if it was still 0-0.  It is.  Was reading about various John Wall infractions.  Lot of reading material.

9:24:  I like Mohammed Massaquoi's name and his bright orange gloves.  Think he'll be good eventually.

9:28:  Great quick release pass by Quinn to some guy on the sidelines.  Nobody's going to stop that play.  Nor would they want to ... given the guy was 20-30 feet out of bounds.

9:30:  Total first downs: 8; Total punts: 5.  I want this hour of my life refunded.

9:32:  Most overused sports cliche?  "What he brings to the table is [insert random quality]!"

9:34:  Punts are gaining on first downs ... 8 to 6.  You know what punts bring to the table?  Height.

9:35: Who had 9:35 in the pool for first cite of that old NFL announcing bromide: "These two teams simply don't like each other"?  Wouldn't you just once like to hear ... "These two teams are the best of friends.  In fact, these two teams vacationed together in Aruba w/ their wives last offseason."

9:38: Brady Quinn, age 4 wearing a Bernie Kosar jersey.  That's why I like him.  Dolberry doesn't care if people make fun of him for having a BQ figurine in his work office.  Sticks and stones, people.  Sticks and stones.

9:39: Jon Gruden was a childhood Browns fan as well.  Leroy Kelly was his favorite player.  I like him too now.  Jaworski just said, having gone to school in Youngstown, that "Cleveland was a great football town."  "Was" being the key word.  The NFL just piddled that away when they let Modell chase the money in 1995.  It's just not the same anymore.

9:40: Dang! A first down.  At least it was a Browns first down ...

9:42: Punts rally again!  10 to 7 now.

9:44: Does Sandra Bullock film a movie every week?

9:45: 15 minutes to Castle.  Did you know both leading actors are from Canada.  Well now you do.

9:46:  If the Browns can get a safety here, I think they could win this game, 2-0.  Hasn't happened since 1938.

9:49: Mangenius is the best nickname ever.  Thanks J-E-T-S fans.

9:52: Two minute warning ... still no score.  Ratbirds are almost in missed field goal range, though.

9:56: Hey, this is looking to be the first scoreless half of the NFL season!  Nice.  Right on the heels of this weekend's Louisville-Syracuse 0-0 first half.  In other sports, Birmingham City played Liverpool to a 2-2- draw earlier today.

9:59:  Well while the NFL regales all of America with a review of where a punt was downed, we're switching channels.  Will come back at 11.  Maybe.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Hello Hurricane: an album review

A syllogism:

Reviews of all kinds are essentially pointless.
The DCV is well-known to embrace all-things-pointless.*
Therefore, the DCV should do a review of Switchfoot's new album "Hello Hurricane".

* - Speaking of pointless, big shout out to my favorite fall teams: the Browns (31st of 32 in NFL scoring) and the Hurricanes (30th of 30 in NHL scoring).  You know what they say: "sometimes the best offense is to just shut it down and play for the #1 draft pick". 

Dolberry has been listening to the album on Switchfoot's myspace page for over a week now, then bought it on Lala yesterday morning (where Dolberry is the #1 Switchfoot listener), then went out (in the cold windy rain) and bought a physical copy of it at Best Buy today.  So, the neutrality of the forthcoming review could certainly be disputed.

APD was at school for an informal baseball practice.  (They have a collapsible cage/net that covers the length of the activities building, allowing for indoor batting practice.)  Dolberry cranked the album from the parking lot.  It was really cool because the wind was blowing hard and the rain from former Hurricane Ida was coming down in sheets.**  The hurricane imagery in the lyrics was easily appreciated from my dry perch in the car.

** - I've been wanting to blog or facebook all day about our rainy weather, but Dolberry felt he couldn't because I made fun of Louisvillians for posting en masse that day it rained a lot in Louisville.  I can't stand it any longer though.  It rained a ton here today!  Over 3 inches in the last 24 hours!!  It has rained for 28 straight hours!!! It was way better than Louisville's rain!!!!  Awesome!

The album opens w/ the soaring "Needle and Haystack Life" which highlights the improbability ("once in a lifetime") of us all being alive and here on earth and merges quickly into the hard-rocking "Mess of Me", a blistering challenge of man's tendency to look for pharmaceutical solutions to problems that are essentially self-inflicted ("the sickness is myself").  "The Sound", featured in that ubiquitous Blackberry Storm commercial is another solid rocker surrounded by two softer really beautiful songs "Your Love is a Song" and "Enough to Let Me Go".  My favorite song on the album is the title track "Hello Hurricane", a melodic and defiant reminder that the storms of life can only slow us down if we let them.  "Bullet Soul" lauds activists everywhere ("you can't stand by forever", "don't let 'em blow it apart") and the album closes with a lullaby "Red Eyes".  The only two songs that don't grab me much are "Always" and "Sing it Out", probably the two slowest on the disc.

Bottom line: Great album.  Go buy it.  Or download it.  Or stream it. 
Rating: 31 stars (of 32).


Sunday, November 08, 2009

Who's the Bloggiest?

It has come to the DCV's attention that I've been outblogged by the Owl in the Pine Tree thus far in 2009.  As many of you know, Dolberry can be rather competitive at times.  (Rarely, really.)  But I am going to win this one.  Watch out Owl, you're going to see some serious blogging over the next 7 weeks.


















Long time fans of ESPN's college basketball Gametracker will note a Billikenesque drought in Dolberry's output since February.  But I have called a time out and think we can hits some threes here down the stretch. 

Game on, Owl.

Saturday, November 07, 2009

My entry into the family shamrock contest

I call this first pose "Tiananmen".




The second pose is called "Guantanamo".





Please ship my prize as expeditiously as possible.  Thanks.

Monday, November 02, 2009

Doing things the hard way ...

Sorry for the long blog layoff.  Will ease back into the DCV journalling exercise w/ that lightest of all blogging activities: the weekend recap.  Don't want to pull any muscles right out of the gate ...

Friday:  Started the day at a conference on weather and technology.  A few interesting talks, including one on how you could use Twitter for weather observations to emphasize the qualitative aspects of weather (e.g., "nice") over the quantitative aspects ("75 F, 58% humidity, mostly sunny).  As an experiment, here were the Twitter obs for yesterday's City of Oaks half-marathon which will be described later in this post.

(Folks, that is called building suspense ... a lot of bloggers would not have tried that after one month off ... but I did ... and Imma not gonna lie to you ... I felt a twinge in my neck... but I'm going to proceed ... more carefully from here on)
  • @tantina: "terrible"
  • @llorenzin: "nasty"
  • @ edgemultisport: "rough"
    The quantitative description was steady rain, 49 F, 15 mph NE wind.  Having spent a solid two hours in the aforementioned weather, Dolberry feels qualified to declare both sets of descriptions as accurate, but can see where some would get value out of the former.

    Left the weather/technology conference in time for my favorite part of the whole year ... parent-teacher conferences.  One of these years I expect some rogue teacher will surprise us w/ the judgment that APD is someone other than an amazing young man.  But this year was not that year.

    Saturday: Super nice day down here in NC on Saturday.  Dawned dreary and foggy, but the warm southerly winds scoured out the clouds and the chill and yielded a supremely beautiful, Indian summer, Halloween.  Got a lot of quality yard work done, then decided around 5:00p it was time to go get a pumpkin.  Whoa.  Not a great selection of pumpkins two hours before trick-or-treaters arrive.  Ended up getting two "pie pumpkins" at Krogers.  While pie pumpkins share the same color and basic look as a regular pumpkin, they are actually more similar to bowling balls in all other respects.  Here's a list of the tools, I used to carve the alleged "pumpkins".
    • Ripsaw
    • Hammer
    • Phillips-head screwdriver
    • Two penny nails

    They came out looking good, though spartan.  Carving a jack o' lantern is not supposed to be a cardio workout, last I checked.  The usual 11 trick-or-treaters came by which was nice.

    Sunday:  Thankfully it was "turn back your clocks an hour night" because we had to get up at 5:30a to head tbKMD off to the starting line for the City of Oaks half-marathon.  APD and Dolberry were proudly on road crew duty.  A sharp cold front had gone through only hours before which ushered in the nasterrible conditions.  We got to cheer tbKMD just before the 1 mile marker where we picked up her wind breaker she'd kept on waiting for the race to start and the 7 mile marker.  She was looking great.  After she passed, we waited in the same spot to see her at the 10 mile mark (they turned around and came back the other way on Hillsborough St.).  APD asked if he could go sit in the car w/ the heat on to warm up and get out of the cold squally downpour.  We were parked at an Applebee's where you could easily see the race from the lot.  I obliged but stayed outside to cheer on the other runners (one guy from my softball team was about to come by).  A few minutes later, APD came out to say he was warm now but that I'd need to get the keys out of the ignition because he didn't know how.  Of course, I couldn't do that because the keys were now locked in the running car.  (He was worried about the car's safety so locked it on his way out.)  This led to what I would guess was one of the most unusual exhortations in 1/2 marathon history when tbKMD came by a few minutes later.

    "Hey Babe. Looking great!  Um, try to stay warm at the finish line because we're locked out of the car.  Keep it up!"

    I had visions of us being stuck there for hours while tbKMD shivered miserably three miles away at the finish line, without warm clothes, a cell phone, or any way of knowing where her ride home was.  But we were able to walk to a nearby gas station, call the cops, have them Slim Jim it open, and get to the finish line only about 15 minutes after she finished.  And while she was shivering in her tanktop and shorts, she wasn't yet hypothermic, so that was good.  (BTW: she finished in under 1:50 which is awesome.  13th out of 200 or so in her age group.)  The great thing about being a goofball is that tbKMD always thinks Dolberry is joking when he screws something up royally ... so luckily she didn't spend her last 3 miles worrying about her predicament ... figuring I was just joshing.  Both the BP operator and the Raleigh police officer were super nice, so the whole event was just a reassertion at how great people can be.

    Hope everyone else's weekend was as equally fantabulous.

    Friday, October 02, 2009

    Yeah ... this will probably come out wrong

    This post is not a rebel post ... this post is "Yeah ... this will probably come out wrong"

    Fully appreciating the incongruity of feeling the need to "defend" a band that is drawing sixty to eighty thousand people a night to their shows, Dolberry would like to vent a little in general about the harsh reactions that U2 (and Bono, in particular) draws in some corners.  You, happy reader, are actually doing me a service here.  By venting in advance, I'll be able to avoid direct confrontation w/ any critics at the show tomorrow or afterwards.  I'll think to myself ... "Sir or Madam, you were seriously pwn3d on the DCV!" and walk away smugly.  That is how the passive-aggressive Dolberry rolls.  (Is there any other point to having a blog that only 6 people read?)

    To be clear, I don't have a problem w/ people that don't like U2's music.  There's something mystical about the combination of poetry and rhythm that affects different people differently.  Dolberry personally cannot appreciate the aural value of scores of bands, singers, songs that others do.  (I'm looking at you again here ABBA.)  There are some frequently cited complaints about U2 that I think are illogical and seek to counter here.

    1.  "U2 is too political.  Shut up and sing, Bono.":  OK, this one bothers me the most.  Excellent article here from Jim Wallis about his DC experience w/ U2 360.  In that link and elsewhere (comments in the WaPo review of the concert) there are accounts of people at the show yelling at Bono to shut up as he expounds (for less than 60-90 seconds, mind you) about poverty in Africa, political prisoners in Burma, protecting the environment, or praising Nancy Pelosi and George Bush for their efforts to improve the state of our world.  In my opinion, U2's politics are not particularly political.  Is anyone really FOR impoverished and starving Africans?  Is anyone really FOR maintaining multi-generational Protestant-Catholic grievances and the terrorism that follows?  Is anyone really AGAINST promoting freedom in Burma ... are there really big supporters for the Burmaese military junta here in the States?  If so, why?  Unfortunately, I think politics has gotten so partisan, spin-centered, and just flat-out screwed up that people reflexively turn away from things like this that simply sound political ...

    2.  "Bono is a raving messianic megalomaniac.":  What part of "rock star" are you having a hard time following?  Your "egotistical madman" is my "charismatic leader".  Semantics, I guess.

    3.  "U2 is going to hell ":  Someone at APD's school expressed alarmed concern to him yesterday that he was attending a U2 concert ... warning against "false prophets" and those that "use God's words for their personal gain".  Look as a professing Christian, I don't know if I'm Christian "enough" ... let alone judge other in the faith.  (Based on my own "righteous" anger I felt inside when I heard that an adult unloaded all this on a 12 year old yesterday ... I clearly have progress to make on emulating Jesus' example.)  My own personal opinion, based on Matthew 25, is that God favors the imperfect among us who do something about injustice, hunger, poverty, and truly loving our neighbors rather than the imperfect among us who are considered "righteous".  If one can show one's faith by one's deeds, I see a vibrant one in U2.

    4.  "U2 are hypocrites.":  Typically this refrain goes "How can U2 lecture me on the environment when their tour emits 4 gazillion tons of CO2?  How can U2 lecutre me on poverty when they own a castle in France and a hilltop mansion along the Big Sur?"  News flash: nearly everyone is a hypocrite.  Don't we all have ideals that we may not always live up to?  Most of us are fortunate enough not to have these inconsistencies displayed on a worldwide screen.  Dolberry is certainly a hypocrite.  I claim to care about the poor and the hungry and the hopeless, but I own a big TV and a Playstation and I live in a comfort that numbs me from doing anything substantial about the plight of others.  I claim to care about the environment but for 2-3 years I drove around w/ a "smoker" (the Tercel) because I was too lazy/cheap to maintain it properly.  I plead guilty to these and scores of others where I say one thing ... but do another.  Be honest critics ... you too are hypocrites.  So, what is the resolution to this universal tendency toward hypocrisy ... well it can't be to stop trying to do the right thing ... to stop promoting the right thing.  We are an imperfect people but we still need leaders everywhere (also imperfect) to step up and show us the way to a better world. 

    Bottom line: you don't have to like U2 ... some of us do ... Dolberry in particular ... if you don't like U2 for one of the four reasons above ... keep it to yourself when around Dolberry.  Thanks!  :-)

    Am I bugging you?  I don't mean to bug you.

    Wednesday, September 30, 2009

    My guess at U2's set list in Raleigh

    1. Breathe
    2. Magnificent
    3. Get on Your Boots
    4. Beautiful Day
    5. Elevation
    6. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
    7. No Line on the Horizon
    8. My Blue Room
    9. Unknown Caller
    10. New Years Day (or Until the End of the World)
    11. Stay
    12. The Unforgettable Fire
    13. City of Blinding Lights
    14. Vertigo
    15. I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight
    16. Sunday Bloody Sunday
    17. MLK
    18. Walk On
    19. One
    20. Where the Streets Have No Name
    21. Ultraviolet
    22. With Or Without You
    23. Moment of Surrender


    I'd love it if "The Fly" made an appearance.  Gonna be awesome.  Super excited for APD to see it.

    Monday, September 28, 2009

    DCV Countdown: My Top 40 U2 songs of all time

    40. Electrical Storm
    39. Seconds
    38. Bullet the Blue Sky
    37. The Electric Co.
    36. Elevation
    35. Mothers of the Disappeared
    34. Stay (Faraway, So Close!)
    33. Staring at the Sun
    32. 11 O'Clock Tick Tock
    31. One Tree Hill
    30. October
    29. 40
    28. Out of Control
    27. In God's Country
    26. Like a Song
    25. Zoo Station
    24. Stand Up Comedy
    23. Two Hearts Beat as One
    22. City of Blinding Lights
    21. All I Want Is You
    20. Sometimes You Can't Make It on Your Own
    19. Gloria
    18. A Sort of Homecoming
    17. I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight
    16. One
    15. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
    14. Bad
    13. Magnificent
    12. I Will Follow
    11. Walk On
    10. Vertigo
    9. Beautiful Day
    8. With or Without You
    7. New Year's Day
    6. The Unforgettable Fire
    5. Pride (In the Name of Love)
    4. The Fly
    3. Sunday Bloody Sunday
    2. Until the End of the World
    1. Where the Streets Have No Name

    Sunday, September 27, 2009

    Quick recap of September

    Sorry, I haven't been blogging.  Sometimes I just get in a rut where nothing seems interesting enough to blog about.  Not much of an excuse given that most of the stuff I do blog about isn't that interesting either.  (If you want to read something interesting and actually thought-provoking, go to my G'ma's blog at: http://owlspinetree.blogspot.com/).

    Anyway, here's a quick recap of the Life of Dolberry over the last several weeks.

    My birthday was really nice.  I'm pretty old now (43).  Hard to get too worked up about prime number birthdays, so that's good.  tbKMD & APD got me a great book, Joe Posnanski's: The Machine.  You may remember Joe Posnanski from such great links as the one in the DCV banner.  He's a great writer and this book was a great read.  Of course, being about the 1975 Reds I'd have probably liked it if it'd been written by one of the Bronte sisters.  Posnanski does the near-impossible at the end of the book ... make you feel sorry for Pete Rose.  He does this w/o glossing over who Rose is either.  Great book.

    Our softball team has been taking a pounding this season.  We're 2-7 and in last place.  And I'm not playing very well.  Still have 7 games left, so there's still time to turn it around.  Conversely, APD's baseball team is doing very well.  They're 6-2 in 2nd place.  Don't think he's ever been on a winning team before, in like 7 seasons of baseball, so am happy for him.  He's played some real good defense this year at SS, 1B ... and pitched a few innings along the way.  Hits like his dad though, unfortunately. 

    The main thing I'm looking forward to in life is the big U2 show this Saturday in Raleigh.  Going to be awesome.  6 days away.  There'll be a U2 theme to the blog this week.  Apologize in advance.

    A few good Bono quotes to get it started:

    Rock music to me is rebel music. But rebelling against what? What are we rebelling against now? If I am honest I'm rebelling against my own indifference. I am rebelling against the idea that the world is the way the world is and there's not a damned thing I can do about it.

    We must allow God to encourage us with His angels, but we must never forget the work is always going to be hard. 

    This is not a burden.  This is an adventure.  Do not let anyone tell you it cannot be done.  We can be the generation that ends extreme poverty.

    But we've got to follow through on our ideals or we betray something at the heart of who we are.

    Thursday, August 20, 2009

    How to fix the Reds (part 1)

    They won today ... but the Cincinnati Reds are flat out awful at this point. Last in all of baseball in batting average (.239), on-base percentage (.308), and slugging percentage (.381) ... despite playing in one of the best hitting parks in baseball. In fact, if you look at their road hitting stats, which are not influenced by the offense-friendly GABP, their stats are a putrid .234/.297/.363. To put this in perspective I looked for the player w/ the closest stats to the Reds road split. The winner ... Astros backup catcher Humberto Quintero (.239/.291/.349). Essentially, you can view the Reds lineup on the road as nine Quinteros (which would be a good name for a metal/salsa band). Not surprisingly, they are dead last in runs scored (470). Big ... Dead ... Machine.

    The pitching, while fading a bit from April/May, is right around league average which is reasonable considering park effects. The bullpen in particular has been ... well ... very good. Most of the time they are keeping games from getting out of hand rather than preserving leads, unfortunately.

    They are 16.5 games out of the wild card lead and very clearly one of the worst 5 0r 6 worst teams in baseball. Their last winning season was 2000 and this decade they have been 116 games under .500. How to fix this mess? Dolberry has the answers.

    Before getting to them ... recognize the cure is not going to be an easy one. Barring any massive increases in salary outlay, there are not going to be any easy fixes. You have to start now to build for 2012 or 2013. Yes, that's going to make it hard to sell season tickets next year ... but losing an additional 100-200K in attendance in the short term is worth the potential for an additional 1 to 1.5 million that you'll get when the Dolberry plan has you in the playoffs down the road. Also, realize that it's going to take some luck. The other MLB teams are not idiots, at least the majority of them. There will need to be some calculated risks (zigging when others zag) ... and some of them will have to pan out. But just eliminating the stupid things that the Reds have been doing will help get us started back to respectibility if nothing else.

    Salary: Let's assume it's going to stay around $75 million like it's been over the past two years. That's not a problem. It's more than 11 teams, including some playoff candidates. Allocation of those resources has been the problem.

    Distribution of salary: I like to view a baseball team as consisting of four parts: 1) the lineup, 2) the rotation, 3) the bullpen, 4) the bench. I'm not sure what the exact optimal allocation of funds should be but certainly you should weight the salary resources against potential contribution towards winning games. Some of this is gut feel ... some is statistical ... some is based on experience in fantasy and tabletop baseball (not a direct translation, admittedly) ... but I think the following distribution is close to right:

    Lineup: 45% / Rotation 40% / Bullpen 10% / Bench 5%.

    Some of the ideas that are built into this are:
    - most of your ABs over a season (~ 70%) come from your top 8-10 players barring injuries
    - similarly most of your IP (~60%) will come from your starters
    - many relief IP are after the game's already been decided
    - most of the bullpen $ should go to a quality pitcher who can be reserved for key situations
    - it's easier to find cheap relievers than it is to find cheap position players or starters
    - bench can usually be filled w/ useful 1-dimensional cheap pieces (e.g., lefty mashers)

    One of the flaws w/ the Reds and their salary allocation this year can be seen in a comparison w/ the St. Louis. The Cardinals have a rotation/bullpen salary ratio of about 4. The Reds' pen of Cordero, Rhodes, & Weathers have pitched great ... but the $17.5 million investment in those three players has not translated to wins because there are few leads to protect ... having shortchanged the more win-relevant parts (lineup and rotation).

    Lesson for today ... need to adhere more closely to optimal splits ... Reds bullpen should cost (on average) ~ 7 to 8 million. We'll talk in another installment on how to build a good bullpen w/ that kind of money.

    Part 2: Amateur Draft / Free Agents / Minor League Free Agents / Rule 5 Draft / Trades ... general philosophy on how to build a winning roster.

    Saturday, August 15, 2009

    Pitino thoughts

    I don't really know what to think about the whole sordid saga involving Rick Pitino. Dolberry always had the sense that he was a master manipulator. I guess he's usually referred to as a master motivator, but those two terms are close cousins. The difference seems to reflect one's intent and I guess in big-time coaching they can be hard to disentangle.
    motivator: to provide someone with something that causes a person to act
    manipulator: to utilize something skillfully, so as to serve one's purpose
    Clearly, no one involved in this mess has managed it w/ any thing resembling skill.

    It'll be interesting to see what it's like in November when Pitino's sitting on the Cardinal bench. I doubt it'll affect his coaching and I doubt it'll affect recruiting. I'm just not sure Dolberry will be able to see him and not think of infidelity, abortion, and that scary extortion lady.

    Friday, August 07, 2009

    For the DCV's newest reader


    Welcome aboard Nick!

    Farewell to a former friend ...

    Guess all of us of a certain age have had friendships that we once really treasured ... but ... for one reason or another (distance, drift, etc.) ... seen steadily fade w/ time until at some point the relationship no longer existed. Dolberry! has made the decision to drop our subscription to the News and Observer and I feel really conflicted about this.

    I grew up in household where the morning paper was treasured. My favorite stories about me (are there really any other any kind of stories?) are the ones about how I was reading the newspaper at 3 or how I knew all the current batting averages of MLB players by the age whatever. It used to be a battle for me to get the Sports page before Dad could get to it. The comics section was a consolation prize if the Sports page was gone. In middle school and high school, one of the joys of waking up (besides the cold potato soup breakfast) was knowing that you were but a 4 minute shower, 45 second teeth brushing, and maybe 3o seconds of garb-assembling away from that day's Calvin and Hobbes. In middle school we had current events quizzes that Dolberry always nailed thanks to the newspaper. Even Dolberry's first public writing was published in the newspaper ... a hard-hitting letter to the editor against political action committees. (I'm still agin' 'em.).

    By all accounts, the Louisville Courier-Journal was one of the best papers in a medium-sized city back in the day. (Now it appears to be mostly a mechanism to present Belk's ads.) I can't really remember if I had a Post-Dispatch subscription but do know I read it whenever practical. Of course the Chicago Tribune was an awesome paper for our days in and around the Windy City. And the News and Observer down here has been a great paper at least 11 of the last 12 years. Basically, I would guess that 50-75% of my days since Dolberry was five have started w/ a perusal of the newspaper.

    Sadly, the newspaper industry contracted a fatal illness sometime over the last 10 years or so. It's been painful to watch. A few corporations bought up a bunch of newspapers and started careful monitoring of the profit margin often at the expense of quality. Many people started getting their news from cable networks or the internet. I think a lot of people (mostly younger) tuned out news for the most part ... staying informed via alternate media / social networks / more effective word of mouth. Circulation numbers started falling. Ad revenue dropped. Production costs rose. Further steps to reduce cost were made and quality suffered further. More people dropped their subscription. Rinse and repeat.

    I probably would have kept ponying up the $200 a year for home delivery, but my once close friend started sending signals that he didn't really care about Dolberry! that much any more. And I don't really blame him ... he had to worry about other things ... namely survival. So, not to make it more acrimonious than it needs to be, but I didn't appreciate what my friend started doing:

    1) Printing articles in our paper that were originally written for the Charlotte Observer. Dolberry does not care about the Panthers or the Bobcats or PGA events in Charlotte any more than I care about local events in Richmond or Atlanta.

    2) The Monday paper became a mini-paper ... one that doesn't even last me the whole bus ride to work.

    3) The number of individual voices (sportswriters, columnists, features writers) kept getting whittled down to where the paper seems 75% wire services. What's the point of a local paper that doesn't have a set of distinctive voices that you can enter in to a relationship with?

    4) Most damaging to our friendship ... the newspaper quit getting the west coast baseball scores into the next day's paper. There are more "Late Yesterday" boxscores in our paper now than actual ones. Any game that ends after 9:45p is not getting in the next day's paper. I challenge anyone to offer up anything more useless than a 36 hour old boxscore. It's not old enough to be of historical interest and it's not new enough to be news. If you can't get the game in the paper the next day, just skip it.

    But really, I'm not really angry about it. I understand why it's happened. But ... it's time to move on. This week I've been reading novels or work stuff on the bus and I haven't missed the paper. A 10 second glance at Google News keeps me up to date w/ all that anyone could ever care to know about cash for clunkers, homicidal maniacs, Russian-Georgian relations, or Paula Abdul. Meanwhile my favorite writers are available via the web: here, here (though he's retiring), here, and here.

    So ... newspapers ... thanks ... I'll miss what we had.

    Saturday, July 25, 2009

    Welcome to the fallout

    Looks like the non-toxic fallout from the big Apex EQ plant explosion is finally settling out. A federal judge gave the ok to a 7.8 million dollar settlement between EQ and those affected by the resulting evacuation. The Dolberries share of this fortune is expected to be a cool $750. Sheesh, I got out of a day of work ... I should be paying EQ.

    Other stories from Apex lately have not been nearly as pleasant. This one (about 1 mile away) and this one (about 1/2 mile away) are unpleasant reminders about the transient quality of life.

    On the brighter side, Forbes magazine voted Apex the third best place to move to in the U.S. Presumably, the voting closed before people started shooting and running over people.

    Sarasota landed the Orioles for $31 million of public money ... to be funded by a tourism tax. Great ... so when Dolberry comes down for Spring Training he'll be taxed to see the team that replaced the team that he started coming down to see in the first place. I'm staying in Manatee county.

    Things are ok w/ Dolberry and his affiliates. APD got scalped and is no worse the wear for it. tbKMD has been running a whole bunch and is also no worse the wear for it. This week Dolberry worked a five day week for the first time since the Taft administration and am the worse for wear. And I wore the worst.

    It's time for softball to start.

    Saturday, July 18, 2009

    Small wedding

    The Dolberries had a great time out in Asheboro on Thursday night at the Small wedding (Shelly and Cleve). Always great to see the Asheboro kin. It was a really nice ceremony ... held under a big tree just off the 9th green at Tot Hill Farm golf course. Interestingly, the THF course is rated the 7th hardest in the whole country by Golf Digest. Dolberry estimates he'd shoot about a 140 there.

    Anyway, here are some pictures ...



    Sunday, July 12, 2009

    This needle in a haystack life

    Great time yesterday w/ the youth group up at KingsFest at Kings Dominion. Conversations w/ good friends, wooden roller coasters, and the refueling of my soul that is a Switchfoot show ... that's a great day. (Even if it takes being awake 26 hours to get all that done. Then my 6 hour nap has me up at 12:30a)

    Here's the highlight of each of those 26 hours (approximately):

    4a: Waking up to tbKMD accidentally dropping a boisterously noisy dish on the kitchen floor.
    5a: Getting a free water from Enterprise when renting the "sketch van"
    6a: Heading up to Virginia basically on time
    7a: Picking up the awesomeness that is Suzy Q in Durham
    8a: Listening to Skillet and Fireflight on the drive up.
    9a: Seeing blue lights in the rearview and having VA State Police nab someone other than me.
    10a: Getting pics of the youth group in front of the KD fountains and Eiffel Tower.
    11a: Riding the Log Ride w/ Chowda & JR32
    12p: Getting soaked on the Whitewater Canyon (but not as soaked ...)
    1p: Seeing Chowda's face when his uncle & cousin met him for lunch.
    2p: Riding the coasters and chatting w/ the crew in the lines.
    3p: Watching John's $4 103 F "grape"drink melt a cup of ice in around 90 seconds.
    4p: Getting a thumbs up from Jon Foreman and Drew Shirley outside the indoor coaster*.
    5p: Being able to get tbKMD into the pavillion despite her having lost her ticket**.
    6p: Soaking in Hawk Nelson while lying on cool grass under partly cloudy skies.
    7p: Really good talk from a pastor from Queens. Learned a lot about Rdy2Ride.
    8p: Am starting to like Skillet more. Adding the violin & cello were a great call.
    9p: Switchfoot's Beyonce/Rhiannon version of "Gone".
    10p: First ever listen to an incredibly uplifting song "Needle and Haystack Life" (see left)
    11p: Watching 9 hungry youth try unsuccessfully walk-thru McDonalds drive-thru.
    12a: Drinking 2 X-large diet cokes to stay awake for the drive back.
    1a: Finding a open reststop to pee.
    2a: Getting back to church safe and sound.
    3a: The world's groggiest Monopoly game ever w/ Ry, APD, Chowda, and JR32
    4a: Trying to stay awake and be banker at same time.
    5a: Getting the rental van back & finding our car in the RDU lot.
    6a: Returning to church for 120 minutes of sleep before pickup.

    * - Dolberry conducted one of his famous interviews of Switchfoot's guitarist Drew Shirley who was wearing the same shirt I was (a lowercase people shirt). As always, Dolberry interviews are not a lot of fluff.

    Dolberry: Hey Drew! Nice shirt.
    Drew Shirley (pointing at my shirt and giving a victory hand gesture): "Awesome!"

    ** - It should be noted that she successfully managed about 1000 other things throughout the course of the day.

    Switchfoot introduced their new song "Needle in a Haystack Life" w/ a quote from Einstein: "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. This is a song about being that second type of a person." Check out the song to the left. It's better than "Hello Hurricane" ... which held the title best song ever for about a week and a half. We are all "once in a lifetime" people.

    Monday, July 06, 2009

    Back from vacation





    Great time at Emerald Isle w/ the folks, Lallys, and G'ma Fitz. Only thing that kept it from perfection was absence of Boards and Harley's owner (& maybe a nightime t-storm).

    Only took one day at work to re-realize how great vacation was.

    Here's a few pics. APD did a fine job manning the camera.

    Saturday, June 27, 2009

    Hello Hurricane - Best song ever!

    OK ... hyperbolic much, Dolberry? But this song rocks. Can't imagine the studio version being better than this initial live effort from Switchfoot. I've listened to it 10 times here this evening (still on Mountain time). Check out the You Tube link to the right if you're reading from Blogger.

    I've been watching new skies
    They've been turning blood red.
    Not a doubt in my mind anymore.
    There's a storm up ahead.

    Hello Hurricane.
    You're not enough,
    Hello Hurricane.
    You can't silence my love.
    I've got doors and windows boarded up,
    All your dead fury is not enough,
    You can't silence my love

    Everything I have becomes lost
    Everything I have has been stripped away
    Before I started building
    I've counted up these costs
    There's nothing left for you to take away

    Hello Hurricane.
    You're not enough,
    Hello Hurricane.
    You can't silence my love.
    I've got doors and windows boarded up,
    All your dead fury is not enough,
    You can't silence my love

    All this time fighting for control
    All this time fighting for my soul
    Everything inside of me surrenders
    You can't silence my love
    You can't silence my love

    Hello Hurricane.
    You're not enough,
    Hello Hurricane.
    You can't silence my love.
    I've got doors and windows boarded up,
    All your dead fury is not enough,
    You can't silence my love