Risen from the Lashes

(written Thurs night, posted Friday, hooray for airport wireless)

So … I’m out swimming under the stars and thinking about life, the universe, and whether Dolberry should have really had that 5th piece of pizza tonight. Seems even harder to stay afloat than usual.

It sure is nice swimming outside in January. Especially when you know in 24 hours it’ll probably be too cold to swim INSIDE where Dolberry is headed.

But that isn’t what I was thinking about. OK, well I was, but I thought about other stuff as well. The hotel I’m staying at is the host hotel of the NFL media for the NFC Championship game here this weekend. There are lots of middle aged, fat guys wandering around the lobby. (I was the one in the swim trunks.)

Many of you may not know this, but coming out of high school Dolberry was debating between four very different college and career paths:

a) Go to U of L and become an engineer. (It was free. El Cueto liked this one)

b) Go to Purdue for meteorology via ROTC. (El Cueto liked this one even more as it would have been free and our hero Dolberry would have had to cut his hair.)

c) Go to SLU and become a Billiken and live happily ever after.

d) Or, go to Western Kentucky and become a sports journalist.


I lost interest in the idea of sports journalism when I did a campus visit and they said you had to be good at interviewing people. At that point in my life, Dolberry didn’t even like talking to people he knew, let alone ones he didn’t know. WKU seemed like a nice school, though. I think one of Dolberry’s sisters friends went there … Rachel or Cherylyn … can’t remember. Somebody went there.

Anyway, I thought DCV readers would enjoy looking into an alternate reality had Dolberry chosen “d”. Enjoy.


Risen from the Lashes
By Dolberry!
USA Today

Phoenix – Seven weeks ago, stumbling off the field in a daze after an inexplicable tie against the bumbling Cincinnati Bengals, a Super Bowl appearance wasn’t even a mirage for Donovan McNabb. But on Sunday, he’ll need just 60 more minutes in the desert sun before reaching that ultimate football oasis.

McNabb was roasted by Dolberry’s sportswriting peers for not knowing that NFL games could end in a tie and he was left to dehydrate in the heat along w/ all other players who would not be making a playoff appearance in 2008-09.

Or, so we thought.

Instead, the ageless QB from Mount Carmel High School, south of Chicago, has risen like a phoenix from the ashes. If grit alone could get you to the Super Bowl, then McNabb’s Eagles would be in, because he leads a team of gutty grinders who would rather eat a cheesesteak than a cheesecake. And over the last 23 years, the Eagles are 1-0 against teams they’ve already beaten on Thanksgiving on that same year.

Stats and grittiness aside, it won’t be easy. The homestanding Cardinals are feisty themselves and won’t fly away in the Battle of the Birds without a flap. Arizona middle linebacker Karlos Dansby will be watching McNabb’s every move like a hawk. Every breath he takes. Every move he makes. Every pass he play fakes … he’ll be watching him.

But when he steps on the field on Sunday afternoon, don’t blame Donovan McNabb for looking around for that oasis. And don’t you doubt that he might not just find it.