Haven't done a live blog in a while. Probably for good reason. But since the Browns probably won't be on Monday Night Football for another decade or so, am running it out here tonight.
8:32p: I like the fact that they referred to the Ravens as the "old Browns". Baltimore fans should not be allowed to forget that they poached another fandom's team after complaining for over a decade about the Colts being stolen from them.
8:35: You wouldn't think they could talk this much about a meaningless football game between a lousy team and a mediocre team, but they can.
8:40: Finally kickoff.
8:40:01 First injury timeout. Football is a ridiculous sport. How many of these guys are still walking when they're Dolberry's age? Kinda sad.
8:43: Iron Man is Sherlock Holmes. Might watch that.
8:46: Browns almost wasted a three and out w/ a senseless running into kicker penalty. You'd presume that, even independent of any actual coaching, sometime in his life the Browns dude would've seen a football game where an announcer noted that you can't blithely run into the punter after he's punted it. (Luckily, it was 3rd and 7, so the Ratbirds declined.)
8:53: 5 plays in 13 minutes of clock time? And people say baseball is boring?!? I still say instant replay is not worth the trouble. Unless you enjoy more commercials. And if it's at the expense of a Browns game, maybe I would.
8:54: I like Brady Quinn. Not sure why Mangenius played Anderson for the last five games. Well actually, I am sure ... to avoid triggering Quinn's incentive clauses for games played. Anyway, here's Anderson's stats for his games. 66 for 154 for 681 yds (less than 140 yds passing a game) and 9 interceptions to go w/ 2 touchdowns. Kinda a lousy way to treat Quinn, but on the other hand it's not like he deserves a 10 million dollar bonus to throw nothing but screen passes.
8:58: Cable keeps going in and out. Typical. Reminds me of a Billikens preseason game that was advertised to be streamed live for free. Dolberry logged in about 10 minutes prior to game time. The feed was from a camera pointed toward center court. Saw the anthem. Kinda saw the opening introductions. Kept figuring someone would actually man the camera at some point. Nope. Game starts and all you can see is the players when they run past center court on their way to one of the baskets. Hilarious! I was literally laughing out loud. Only the Billikens. The camera operator did show up before the first TV timeout, but it kinda took away from the sophmoric charm of the first few minutes. Turned it off shortly thereafter.
9:01: 5 minutes of football time took 21 minutes of real time. At this pace the game will last well past midnight. I'm only watching until Castle comes on. tbKMD has me hooked on that show. Funny.
9:05: I love that Muse song "Uprising". Makes me look forward to those "V" commercials.
9:06: 26 minutes to play 6. Thankfully, BAL is out of timeouts. Flacco must be paid by the hour.
9:07: Jon Gruden ... "Both teams appear to be out of sync." Can't vouch for the Ratbirds, but this is how the Browns always look.
9:09: Sidenote: UK 72, Miami OH 70. UK is just at the very beginning of their championship run. First of six or seven championships, more than likely. Looks like John Wall the Raleigh star who played at four different high schools here in four years (when not being arrested for breaking and entering or paying back $800 for interactions with professional agents) hit the game winner.
9:10: Mangenius sure was fired up about that missed Ratbird field goal. Still 0-0.
9:21: OK, I just had to ask APD if it was still 0-0. It is. Was reading about various John Wall infractions. Lot of reading material.
9:24: I like Mohammed Massaquoi's name and his bright orange gloves. Think he'll be good eventually.
9:28: Great quick release pass by Quinn to some guy on the sidelines. Nobody's going to stop that play. Nor would they want to ... given the guy was 20-30 feet out of bounds.
9:30: Total first downs: 8; Total punts: 5. I want this hour of my life refunded.
9:32: Most overused sports cliche? "What he brings to the table is [insert random quality]!"
9:34: Punts are gaining on first downs ... 8 to 6. You know what punts bring to the table? Height.
9:35: Who had 9:35 in the pool for first cite of that old NFL announcing bromide: "These two teams simply don't like each other"? Wouldn't you just once like to hear ... "These two teams are the best of friends. In fact, these two teams vacationed together in Aruba w/ their wives last offseason."
9:38: Brady Quinn, age 4 wearing a Bernie Kosar jersey. That's why I like him. Dolberry doesn't care if people make fun of him for having a BQ figurine in his work office. Sticks and stones, people. Sticks and stones.
9:39: Jon Gruden was a childhood Browns fan as well. Leroy Kelly was his favorite player. I like him too now. Jaworski just said, having gone to school in Youngstown, that "Cleveland was a great football town." "Was" being the key word. The NFL just piddled that away when they let Modell chase the money in 1995. It's just not the same anymore.
9:40: Dang! A first down. At least it was a Browns first down ...
9:42: Punts rally again! 10 to 7 now.
9:44: Does Sandra Bullock film a movie every week?
9:45: 15 minutes to Castle. Did you know both leading actors are from Canada. Well now you do.
9:46: If the Browns can get a safety here, I think they could win this game, 2-0. Hasn't happened since 1938.
9:49: Mangenius is the best nickname ever. Thanks J-E-T-S fans.
9:52: Two minute warning ... still no score. Ratbirds are almost in missed field goal range, though.
9:56: Hey, this is looking to be the first scoreless half of the NFL season! Nice. Right on the heels of this weekend's Louisville-Syracuse 0-0 first half. In other sports, Birmingham City played Liverpool to a 2-2- draw earlier today.
9:59: Well while the NFL regales all of America with a review of where a punt was downed, we're switching channels. Will come back at 11. Maybe.
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