25 - This summer in a tournament softball game I rounded 3rd and headed to the dugout thinking an out, the third out of the inning, had been made at first. Alas, I was soon surprised to find myself being tagged for the third out. We were up by eight at the time and ended up losing. Ugh.
24 - Freshman year at SLU, left my weather radio on when left over T-giving break, forgetting about the weekly tests of the alarm that occurred on Friday. Apparently, the few people who stayed behind for the holiday couldn't get into my room to turn it off for over a day. Another black eye for meteorologists.
23 - Junior year at Trinity. Honors English w/ Fr. Caster (doo-daddy-doo man, or something like that). Easy class. Even more so when I inadventently left my vocab book wide open on my desk while taking a vocab quiz. Fr. Caster's reaction upon detecting this ... "Maniac!"
22 - Dislocating my shoulder for the 11th? (have lost track) time while doing flips off a diving board in Siler City. Think I was 37 or 38 at the time and it was about the 37th or 38th dive of the day that ended badly. Stupid!
21 - Throwing a marble through our family room window when I was a teenager. Remember it like it was yesterday ... stepped on this marble ... right on my arch ... hurt ... Dolberry angry ... marble at fault ... hurl marble ... wait ... hurl marble in other direction ... too late ... crash ... El Cuerta? ... not happy.
20 - One of our first Xmas'es down in NC, tbKMD and I went to get a tree. Dolberry tied it to the roof through the closed car doors w/ the windows down ... forcing me to have to climb out that same window to escape (and get scissors) upon arriving home.
19 - Getting a massive sunburn in San Diego right before having to spend the day on a plane flying back to Chicago. Then went double-down on the gaffe by going to Northwestern hospital ER at 2am that night ... only to be laughed out of ER by doctors w/ a recommendation to take a Tylenol.
18b - Think I was in 3rd grade, so it was probably Goldsmith elementary. Along w/ a schoolmate, had connected three straws together into a sword and were swashbuckling our way through lunch only to have the duel prematurely end when my sword violently disconnected and landed in the teacher's tray two tables over.
18a - You'd think Dolberry would have learned w/ the straws, but no. Crowded Chicago movie theater ... Dolberry chewing on his straw ... goes flying out of mouth ... onto lap of patron in row in front of me. No words exchanged. None needed really.
17 - One cold January day (~ 15 degrees) in Des Plaines, workers accidentally ignited a fire up on the roof. Dolberry smells smoke and calmly evacuates w/o his winter coat. Don't get back into office for several days due to smoke damage and clean up. Brrrr!
16 - First day at new job at Region 5 EPA in Chicago, I got on the wrong southbound train heading out of the Loop. Train blows right by my apartment at about 40 mph stopping only upon reaching East Chicago ... which is in Indiana.
15 - Early date with tbKMD (tbKMB at the time), Dolberry goes to movies w/o his wallet. tbKMB less then impressed. Odds of tbKMB ever becoming tbKMD at that point .... 5000 to 1.
14 - Sunday morning massacre. Crashed into two separate cars leaving church. Interestingly, I almost backed into someone while leaving church a few months ago here in Apex. Obviously, Dolberry needs to spend more time praying about safely exiting the parking lot.
13 - Junior year at Trinity ... Covington Catholic Invitational ... for some unknown reason Dolberry bolts to the lead (> 100 other runners) ... so unaccustomed to running in front I run off course ... even taking shortcut (Coach Kahl called me "Cutter" for the rest of the year) I can't hold lead for more than a half mile, eventually fading to 40th place. Even Leary beats me. Wow.
12 - APD and tbKMD had come up to visit me in Shepherdstown WV over the weekend while I was in a two week training class. Sunday afternoon we decided to head out to the Antietam battlefield site which Dolberry knew was close. We drove for about an hour and a half in various directions before finding it. Upon leaving the battlefield park, we see a sign that says: Shepherdstown -- 4 miles.
11 - Junior year at SLU. Come home to Louisville w/ friends (Matt?, Tom?) to attend KY Derby. Trying to showoff and play the role of experienced local, Dolberry advises buying race program outside the track claiming they'll be much cheaper than inside ... only to find out exact opposite is true less than two minutes later.
10 - Working at MCNC (1998) ... big presentation ... Dolberry spends several hours loading multiple animations onto workstation prior to talk ... only to trip over cable ... disconnecting machine and sending the needed animations into the ether. Disasterously attempted to solider on. If a picture is worth a thousand words ... it makes sense that a missing animation can't be described w/ ten thousand.
9 - Inadvertently stole a guy's dog once while getting breakfast at Bojangles. The old pup was just wandering around the dumpster while (unbeknownst to me) his owner was in the restaurant. Dolberry took Buddy home and called the owner who had been quite saddened to have his pet dognapped while eating breakfast.
8 - Looking through a photo album w/ tbKMD's sister, Shelly. (Note: Dolberry spaces out whenever forced to look at other people's pictures for more than 30 seconds. Some sort of survival instinct honed from growing up w/ La Shutterbugga.) Shown picture of then newborn, now superstar, Gracie on a blanket, Dolberry remarks absentmindedly ... "so, that was after she was born?"
7 - Dolberry is night-running along Chicago lakefront. Unbeknownst to me, mugging had taken place on the path earlier that morning. Am ambushed by TV crew who want an interview. Reporter asks why I'm running in dark, by myself, w/ headphones, in same place as earlier incident. Winded Dolberry confusedly replies ... "Uhhhh ... I work in the day." Dolberry's doofus quote featured in lead 10p news story.
6 - SLU again ... went out to western suburbs to play some football at a park w/ friends... walking over to park from Evans' house along some busy road ... Dolberry launches an errant pass ... which takes an unfortunate and had-to-be-seen-to-believed bad bounce ... right into a passing car's passenger's side mirror ... dislodging the mirror from its rightful place on the car. (Matt Jung ran about a quarter of a mile to catch the driver at a stoplight and presented her w/ her now-standalone mirror.)
5 - The Incident at Berghoff's4 - Summer of 1987 ... first trip out to visit tbKMD's family. Meet up w/ some of tbKMD's high school friends. Some of which still have feelings for tbKMD ... who's still tbKMB at the time. Dolberry trying to be on his studliest behavior but status takes a hit when I inadvertently tip the raft containing all the group's beverages ... which quickly submerge to bottom of Salt River never to be seen again.
3. Senior year in high school ... March 1984 ... first trip out to SLU to visit campus. Must have been a Friday in Lent because ordered a fish sandwich from Wendy's near campus. Accidentally drop my square of fish on restaurant floor ... too cheap to get another one and too hungry not to eat. End up vomiting over most, if not all of the 240 miles of I-64 shoulder upon return to Louisville that evening. Why Dolberry? Why?
2. 2002 Kentucky Derby party ... everyone gathered around the TV but strangely ... no one's cheering for War Emblem as he goes wire-to-wire for victory. Why not? Dolberry inadvertently left him out of the blind draw. Probably the only Derby party that day to award the big prize to Proud Citizen (who finished 2nd).
1. January 18th, 2000 ... Apex gets a small snowfall (~3") ... lot of fun ... Dolberry gets his snow shovel out for maybe the first time ever in NC to shovel the snow together to make a snowman ... and leaves the shovel out in the yard ... where it is later unfindable ... buried by the 20" snow that falls one week later.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Top 20 Dolberry gaffes
As a young lad, one of Dolberry's favorite things about the post-Xmas, pre New Year's season was the preponderance of countdowns ranking the best things of the year (songs, movies, sports moments, etc.). Even today, I'm clicking on many a link listing the top whatever of the decade. For better or worse, countdowns have long been a Dolberry staple. Another core element of who I am is the occasional magnitude 7 or higher gaffe. Not sure exactly how to define "gaffe" here ... but the essence is thoughtlessly stupid actions that lead to minor yet embarassing consequences. Hey, we all make mistakes right?
Bringing the gaffe together w/ the countdown ... here are the Top 20 Dolberry gaffes I could think of ... sadly in only about 10 minutes of light recollection.
20 - This summer in a tournament softball game I rounded 3rd and headed to the dugout thinking an out, the third out of the inning, had been made at first. Alas, I was soon surprised to find myself being tagged for the third out. We were up by eight at the time and ended up losing. Ugh.
19 - Freshman year at SLU, left my weather radio on when left over T-giving break, forgetting about the weekly tests of the alarm that occurred on Friday. Apparently, the few people who stayed behind for the holiday couldn't get into my room to turn it off for over a day. Another black eye for meteorologists.
18 - Junior year at Trinity. Honors English w/ Fr. Caster (doo-daddy-doo man, or something like that). Easy class. Even more so when I inadventently left my vocab book wide open on my desk while taking a vocab quiz. Fr. Caster's reaction upon detecting this ... "Maniac!"
17 - Dislocating my shoulder for the 11th? (have lost track) time while doing flips off a diving board in Siler City. Think I was 37 or 38 at the time and it was about the 37th or 38th dive of the day that ended badly. Stupid!
16 - Throwing a marble through our family room window when I was a teenager. Remember it like it was yesterday ... stepped on this marble ... right on my arch ... hurt ... Dolberry angry ... marble at fault ... hurl marble ... wait ... hurl marble in other direction ... too late ... crash ... El Cuerta? ... not happy.
15 - Getting a massive sunburn in San Diego right before having to spend the day on a plane flying back to Chicago. Then went double-down on the gaffe by going to Northwestern hospital ER at 2am that night ... only to be laughed out of ER by doctors w/ a recommendation to take a Tylenol.
14b - Think I was in 3rd grade, so it was probably Goldsmith elementary. Along w/ a schoolmate, had connected three straws together into a sword and were swashbuckling our way through lunch only to have the duel prematurely end when my sword violently disconnected and landed in the teacher's tray two tables over.
14a - You'd think Dolberry would have learned w/ the straws, but no. Crowded Chicago movie theater ... Dolberry chewing on his straw ... goes flying out of mouth ... onto lap of patron in row in front of me. No words exchanged. None needed really.
13 - One cold January day (~ 15 degrees) in Des Plaines, workers accidentally ignited a fire up on the roof. Dolberry smells smoke and calmly evacuates w/o his winter coat. Don't get back into office for several days due to smoke damage and clean up. Brrrr!
12 - First day at new job at Region 5 EPA in Chicago, I got on the wrong southbound train heading out of the Loop. Train blows right by my apartment at about 40 mph stopping only upon reaching East Chicago ... which is in Indiana.
11 - Early date with tbKMD (tbKMB at the time), Dolberry goes to movies w/o his wallet. tbKMB less then impressed. Odds of tbKMB ever becoming tbKMD at that point .... 5000 to 1.
10 - Sunday morning massacre. Crashed into two separate cars leaving church. Interestingly, I almost backed into someone while leaving church a few months ago here in Apex. Obviously, Dolberry needs to spend more time praying about safely exiting the parking lot.
9 - Junior year at Trinity ... Covington Catholic Invitational ... for some unknown reason Dolberry bolts to the lead (> 100 other runners) ... so unaccustomed to running in front I run off course ... even taking shortcut (Coach Kahl called me "Cutter" for the rest of the year) I can't hold lead for more than a half mile, eventually fading to 40th place. Even Leary beats me. Wow.
8 - Junior year at SLU. Come home to Louisville w/ friends (Matt?, Tom?) to attend KY Derby. Trying to showoff and play the role of experienced local, Dolberry advises buying race program outside the track claiming they'll be much cheaper than inside ... only to find out exact opposite is true less than two minutes later.
7 - Working at MCNC (1998) ... big presentation ... Dolberry spends several hours loading multiple animations onto workstation prior to talk ... only to trip over cable ... disconnecting machine and sending the needed animations into the ether. Disasterously attempted to solider on. If a picture is worth a thousand words ... it makes sense that a missing animation can't be described w/ ten thousand.
6 - Looking through a photo album w/ tbKMD's sister, Shelly. (Note: Dolberry spaces out whenever forced to look at other people's pictures for more than 30 seconds. Some sort of survival instinct honed from growing up w/ La Shutterbugga.) Shown picture of then newborn, now superstar, Madeline on a blanket, Dolberry remarks absentmindedly ... "so, that was after she was born?"
5 - Dolberry is night-running along Chicago lakefront. Unbeknownst to me, mugging had taken place on the path earlier that morning. Am ambushed by TV crew who want an interview. Reporter asks why I'm running in dark, by myself, w/ headphones, in same place as earlier incident. Winded Dolberry confusedly replies ... "Uhhhh ... I work in the day." Dolberry's doofus quote featured in lead 10p news story.
4 - SLU again ... went out to western suburbs to play some football at a park w/ friends... walking over to park from Evans' house along some busy road ... Dolberry launches an errant pass ... which takes an unfortunate and had-to-be-seen-to-believed bad bounce ... right into a passing car's passenger's side mirror ... dislodging the mirror from its rightful place on the car. (Matt Jung ran about a quarter of a mile to catch the driver at a stoplight and presented her w/ her now-standalone mirror.)
3 - The Incident at Berghoff's
2 - Summer of 1987 ... first trip out to visit tbKMD's family. Meet up w/ some of tbKMD's high school friends. Some of which still have feelings for tbKMD ... who's still tbKMB at the time. Dolberry trying to be on his studliest behavior but status takes a hit when I inadvertently tip the raft containing all the group's beverages ... which quickly submerge to bottom of Salt River never to be seen again.
1. Senior year in high school ... March 1984 ... first trip out to SLU to visit campus. Must have been a Friday in Lent because ordered a fish sandwich from Wendy's near campus. Accidentally drop my square of fish on restaurant floor ... too cheap to get another one and too hungry not to eat. End up vomiting over most, if not all of the 240 miles of I-64 shoulder upon return to Louisville that evening. Why Dolberry? Why?
Bringing the gaffe together w/ the countdown ... here are the Top 20 Dolberry gaffes I could think of ... sadly in only about 10 minutes of light recollection.
20 - This summer in a tournament softball game I rounded 3rd and headed to the dugout thinking an out, the third out of the inning, had been made at first. Alas, I was soon surprised to find myself being tagged for the third out. We were up by eight at the time and ended up losing. Ugh.
19 - Freshman year at SLU, left my weather radio on when left over T-giving break, forgetting about the weekly tests of the alarm that occurred on Friday. Apparently, the few people who stayed behind for the holiday couldn't get into my room to turn it off for over a day. Another black eye for meteorologists.
18 - Junior year at Trinity. Honors English w/ Fr. Caster (doo-daddy-doo man, or something like that). Easy class. Even more so when I inadventently left my vocab book wide open on my desk while taking a vocab quiz. Fr. Caster's reaction upon detecting this ... "Maniac!"
17 - Dislocating my shoulder for the 11th? (have lost track) time while doing flips off a diving board in Siler City. Think I was 37 or 38 at the time and it was about the 37th or 38th dive of the day that ended badly. Stupid!
16 - Throwing a marble through our family room window when I was a teenager. Remember it like it was yesterday ... stepped on this marble ... right on my arch ... hurt ... Dolberry angry ... marble at fault ... hurl marble ... wait ... hurl marble in other direction ... too late ... crash ... El Cuerta? ... not happy.
15 - Getting a massive sunburn in San Diego right before having to spend the day on a plane flying back to Chicago. Then went double-down on the gaffe by going to Northwestern hospital ER at 2am that night ... only to be laughed out of ER by doctors w/ a recommendation to take a Tylenol.
14b - Think I was in 3rd grade, so it was probably Goldsmith elementary. Along w/ a schoolmate, had connected three straws together into a sword and were swashbuckling our way through lunch only to have the duel prematurely end when my sword violently disconnected and landed in the teacher's tray two tables over.
14a - You'd think Dolberry would have learned w/ the straws, but no. Crowded Chicago movie theater ... Dolberry chewing on his straw ... goes flying out of mouth ... onto lap of patron in row in front of me. No words exchanged. None needed really.
13 - One cold January day (~ 15 degrees) in Des Plaines, workers accidentally ignited a fire up on the roof. Dolberry smells smoke and calmly evacuates w/o his winter coat. Don't get back into office for several days due to smoke damage and clean up. Brrrr!
12 - First day at new job at Region 5 EPA in Chicago, I got on the wrong southbound train heading out of the Loop. Train blows right by my apartment at about 40 mph stopping only upon reaching East Chicago ... which is in Indiana.
11 - Early date with tbKMD (tbKMB at the time), Dolberry goes to movies w/o his wallet. tbKMB less then impressed. Odds of tbKMB ever becoming tbKMD at that point .... 5000 to 1.
10 - Sunday morning massacre. Crashed into two separate cars leaving church. Interestingly, I almost backed into someone while leaving church a few months ago here in Apex. Obviously, Dolberry needs to spend more time praying about safely exiting the parking lot.
9 - Junior year at Trinity ... Covington Catholic Invitational ... for some unknown reason Dolberry bolts to the lead (> 100 other runners) ... so unaccustomed to running in front I run off course ... even taking shortcut (Coach Kahl called me "Cutter" for the rest of the year) I can't hold lead for more than a half mile, eventually fading to 40th place. Even Leary beats me. Wow.
8 - Junior year at SLU. Come home to Louisville w/ friends (Matt?, Tom?) to attend KY Derby. Trying to showoff and play the role of experienced local, Dolberry advises buying race program outside the track claiming they'll be much cheaper than inside ... only to find out exact opposite is true less than two minutes later.
7 - Working at MCNC (1998) ... big presentation ... Dolberry spends several hours loading multiple animations onto workstation prior to talk ... only to trip over cable ... disconnecting machine and sending the needed animations into the ether. Disasterously attempted to solider on. If a picture is worth a thousand words ... it makes sense that a missing animation can't be described w/ ten thousand.
6 - Looking through a photo album w/ tbKMD's sister, Shelly. (Note: Dolberry spaces out whenever forced to look at other people's pictures for more than 30 seconds. Some sort of survival instinct honed from growing up w/ La Shutterbugga.) Shown picture of then newborn, now superstar, Madeline on a blanket, Dolberry remarks absentmindedly ... "so, that was after she was born?"
5 - Dolberry is night-running along Chicago lakefront. Unbeknownst to me, mugging had taken place on the path earlier that morning. Am ambushed by TV crew who want an interview. Reporter asks why I'm running in dark, by myself, w/ headphones, in same place as earlier incident. Winded Dolberry confusedly replies ... "Uhhhh ... I work in the day." Dolberry's doofus quote featured in lead 10p news story.
4 - SLU again ... went out to western suburbs to play some football at a park w/ friends... walking over to park from Evans' house along some busy road ... Dolberry launches an errant pass ... which takes an unfortunate and had-to-be-seen-to-believed bad bounce ... right into a passing car's passenger's side mirror ... dislodging the mirror from its rightful place on the car. (Matt Jung ran about a quarter of a mile to catch the driver at a stoplight and presented her w/ her now-standalone mirror.)
3 - The Incident at Berghoff's
2 - Summer of 1987 ... first trip out to visit tbKMD's family. Meet up w/ some of tbKMD's high school friends. Some of which still have feelings for tbKMD ... who's still tbKMB at the time. Dolberry trying to be on his studliest behavior but status takes a hit when I inadvertently tip the raft containing all the group's beverages ... which quickly submerge to bottom of Salt River never to be seen again.
1. Senior year in high school ... March 1984 ... first trip out to SLU to visit campus. Must have been a Friday in Lent because ordered a fish sandwich from Wendy's near campus. Accidentally drop my square of fish on restaurant floor ... too cheap to get another one and too hungry not to eat. End up vomiting over most, if not all of the 240 miles of I-64 shoulder upon return to Louisville that evening. Why Dolberry? Why?
Monday, December 28, 2009
Learning to lose gracefully ...
... is a lesson that I'm unlikely to ever master. Owl, I will get you next year.
Finished my Xmas book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller. Great book. I'll write more about it. (Probably next year when I'll need an idea for a post and it'll count to my 2010 total.)
Work today wasn't too bad. Went into it w/ the idea that it was still vacation, but I was just going to get some things done at work for nine hours. That little trick plus no meetings on the calendar made for a nice productive yet relaxing day.
Dolberry is currently addicted to Muse. I was aware of them prior to seeing them open for U2, but seeing them live increased my appreciation as has delving deeper into their catalogue.
My life
You electrify my life
Let's conspire to re-ignite
All the souls that would die just to feel alive
Finished my Xmas book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller. Great book. I'll write more about it. (Probably next year when I'll need an idea for a post and it'll count to my 2010 total.)
Work today wasn't too bad. Went into it w/ the idea that it was still vacation, but I was just going to get some things done at work for nine hours. That little trick plus no meetings on the calendar made for a nice productive yet relaxing day.
Dolberry is currently addicted to Muse. I was aware of them prior to seeing them open for U2, but seeing them live increased my appreciation as has delving deeper into their catalogue.
My life
You electrify my life
Let's conspire to re-ignite
All the souls that would die just to feel alive
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Days 359 & 360 of the year were two of the most fun
Day 359 was pretty great as well. The usual fun (Xmas presents, Xmas presents), plus a trip out to Asheboro where we had a blast playing games w/ the crew out there. Let Gracie win in Beatles Rock Band (and Apples to Apples). Great food and great fun.
I'd say both were in the top 10 of the year ... but I'll spare you the countdown.
Sorry to hear about Urban Meyer. Sounds like he could have used more day 359/360s in his life over the past 20 years.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
The parable of the six yard punt
The soul of the prideful man is like the Oregon State punter in last night's MAACO Las Vegas Bowl who struggled to kick the ball despite his best efforts due to a gusty wind. He sat on the sideline in the first quarter and watched as the fearful wind tangled the Allstate kick-catching banner in the goalposts and brusquely disabled ESPN's celebrated skycam. Later in the 1st quarter, he stood on the sidelines as his BYU counterpart attempted to launch a punt into the oncoming wind only to see the ball start to boomerang back towards its origin before it even reached the apex of its abbreviated flight. Granted a second chance by a silly OSU penalty, the Cougar punter wisely tuned his second effort to a lower trajectory and managed a 35 yard punt w/ a good 20 yard bounce. The teams switched ends for the 2nd quarter and it came to pass that the Beavers offense stalled and it was their turn to punt. The OSU punter took the snap and boomed a beautiful arching drive high into the Nevada night. Sadly, this punt also reversed course due to the arid gusts and ended a mere six yards from the original line of scrimmage.
This greatly saddened Dolberry because he had picked Oregon State in his annual bowl contest against tbKMD and APD and this set the Cougars up in very favorable field position. Moreover, it struck Dolberry that the six yard punt was sort of a metaphor for life ... sometimes we can give our best effort and outside forces conspire to turn it into a laughingstock.
Later in the same quarter, the OSU punter was called into action again with his team pinned back near their own end zone. Again, he drew his kicking leg back and forcefully advected the pigskin some 40 yards up into the air but only six yards further down the field. This second six yard punt greatly enraged Dolberry because BYU was pulling away and I am already way behind in the bowl contest (w/ only ~ 78 bowls left to catchup). There's metaphor and there's moronicy and the Beaver punter had crossed the line.
- - -
Two Greek roots you never want to hear back to back ... "orth-" meaning straight and "odont-" meaning tooth. The alliance of these two roots have conspired to set Dolberry back roughly $4.5 grand. A Merry Christmas for the orthodontist indeed.
- - -
The NY Times manages to aggravate Dolberry to my boiling point (roughly 137 deg F, same as bromine) every few weeks or so. Maureen Dowd's pointless and ungrounded attack on John McCain's character was the most recent entry. The piece-de-resistance is where she tsk-tsks him for "cutting the Times off completely" and treating the media w/ "the same outsize scorn that he once reserved for his Viet Cong captors". In true turn the other cheek fashion, Dolberry won't hazard any wild opinions on Dowd's potential character flaws, but I do think it's sort of a natural reaction to be disinclined to deal much w/ an organization that wrote a total hit piece hinting at marital infidelity (one for which they later had to settle to avoid a libel suit). Guess its self-congratulating analyses like these that sell papers or generate web clicks ... "McCain's a frothing old man ... ha I knew it". Anyway, the NYT has been removed from my bookmark list in protest. That'll show 'em.
- - -
My favorite Christmas songs right now ... countdown:
5. Happy is a Yuppie Word (Switchfoot): Not technically a Christmas song, but the lyrics are never more appropriate than this time of year. "Blessed is the man who's lost it all. I want more than simple cash can buy."
4. The Night Santa Went Crazy (Weird Al Yankovic): Santa goes postal as a "yuletide Rambo".
3. Hark the Herald Angels Sing (Weezer): Standard Weezer guitar sound paired w/ best Xmas hymn.
2. I Celebrate the Day (Relient K): A modern classic.
1. C'mon Let's Boogey to the Elf Dance (Sufjan Stevens): The biblical Christmas story gets gradually drowned out by the modern Christmas meaning in competing overlapping melodies.
This greatly saddened Dolberry because he had picked Oregon State in his annual bowl contest against tbKMD and APD and this set the Cougars up in very favorable field position. Moreover, it struck Dolberry that the six yard punt was sort of a metaphor for life ... sometimes we can give our best effort and outside forces conspire to turn it into a laughingstock.
Later in the same quarter, the OSU punter was called into action again with his team pinned back near their own end zone. Again, he drew his kicking leg back and forcefully advected the pigskin some 40 yards up into the air but only six yards further down the field. This second six yard punt greatly enraged Dolberry because BYU was pulling away and I am already way behind in the bowl contest (w/ only ~ 78 bowls left to catchup). There's metaphor and there's moronicy and the Beaver punter had crossed the line.
- - -
Two Greek roots you never want to hear back to back ... "orth-" meaning straight and "odont-" meaning tooth. The alliance of these two roots have conspired to set Dolberry back roughly $4.5 grand. A Merry Christmas for the orthodontist indeed.
- - -
The NY Times manages to aggravate Dolberry to my boiling point (roughly 137 deg F, same as bromine) every few weeks or so. Maureen Dowd's pointless and ungrounded attack on John McCain's character was the most recent entry. The piece-de-resistance is where she tsk-tsks him for "cutting the Times off completely" and treating the media w/ "the same outsize scorn that he once reserved for his Viet Cong captors". In true turn the other cheek fashion, Dolberry won't hazard any wild opinions on Dowd's potential character flaws, but I do think it's sort of a natural reaction to be disinclined to deal much w/ an organization that wrote a total hit piece hinting at marital infidelity (one for which they later had to settle to avoid a libel suit). Guess its self-congratulating analyses like these that sell papers or generate web clicks ... "McCain's a frothing old man ... ha I knew it". Anyway, the NYT has been removed from my bookmark list in protest. That'll show 'em.
- - -
My favorite Christmas songs right now ... countdown:
5. Happy is a Yuppie Word (Switchfoot): Not technically a Christmas song, but the lyrics are never more appropriate than this time of year. "Blessed is the man who's lost it all. I want more than simple cash can buy."
4. The Night Santa Went Crazy (Weird Al Yankovic): Santa goes postal as a "yuletide Rambo".
3. Hark the Herald Angels Sing (Weezer): Standard Weezer guitar sound paired w/ best Xmas hymn.
2. I Celebrate the Day (Relient K): A modern classic.
1. C'mon Let's Boogey to the Elf Dance (Sufjan Stevens): The biblical Christmas story gets gradually drowned out by the modern Christmas meaning in competing overlapping melodies.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Glad to be home
Ended up getting home pretty easily. The all-nighter at O'Hare wasn't too bad. Got home. Crashed for 3 hours. Then slept for 9 last night and feel fine now. In the end, I could have stuck w/ original arrangements as that flight ended up being right on time as Raleigh stayed pretty much at 33F w/ rain the whole event.
Today was getting blitzed at HeroClix and delivering AngelTree presents and then pizza delivery. Good day all around.
Today was getting blitzed at HeroClix and delivering AngelTree presents and then pizza delivery. Good day all around.
Friday, December 18, 2009
The Moving Walkway is now ending ... please look down
Random thoughts:
It takes 2:01 to traverse one of the people movers to ORD's Concourse C while standing still. In that time you can hear the expression "the moving walkway is now ending ... please look down" 28 times.
Interestingly (or not), Barbaro won the 2006 Kentucky Derby in 2:01.
Tiger Woods' mother-in-law is named Barbaro (or something like that). Interestingly (debatable), the Accenture ads w/ Tiger are all still up in the airports even though they've dropped him. You've probably seen them. They show Tiger looking over a small cliff at a golf ball he's clearly hit out of bounds w/ the tagline ... "It's what you do next that counts." Real prescience on the part of that ad maker and unusual wisdom as well for marketing. Some travelling wag had sophmorically stuck a sticky "who" over the "what" in the SFO version.
Re: the SFO airport, as I finished up going through security there tonight, Dolberry noticed his fly was open. I wonder if the TSA gets that a lot ... take off your shoes ... remove your belt ... unzip your fly. Doing my part for homeland security.
Food update: ate a 50's style diner for lunch today. Hamburger was fine but bun was still frozen in the middle. Was that standard in the 50's?
None of my Facebook friends are online to chat right now (3:14a). Losers! Only 4.5 more hours to kill. Think I may go hang out at the 24hr McDonalds and see if I can make any new friends there. Plan to finish the book I'm reading. Interestingly (stop it), "experts" had notified the dam owners that their dam was likely to fail, but were harshly rebuffed as not knowing what they were talking about by those w/ vested interest in the lake and its associated lodge. Many in Johnstown and other affected communities were aware of the risk, but had no power to do anything about it. Over 2,000 people lost their lives needlessly in that case for something that was easily preventable but was sadly ... inconvienent. (oh no you di'int!)
It takes 2:01 to traverse one of the people movers to ORD's Concourse C while standing still. In that time you can hear the expression "the moving walkway is now ending ... please look down" 28 times.
Interestingly (or not), Barbaro won the 2006 Kentucky Derby in 2:01.
Tiger Woods' mother-in-law is named Barbaro (or something like that). Interestingly (debatable), the Accenture ads w/ Tiger are all still up in the airports even though they've dropped him. You've probably seen them. They show Tiger looking over a small cliff at a golf ball he's clearly hit out of bounds w/ the tagline ... "It's what you do next that counts." Real prescience on the part of that ad maker and unusual wisdom as well for marketing. Some travelling wag had sophmorically stuck a sticky "who" over the "what" in the SFO version.
Re: the SFO airport, as I finished up going through security there tonight, Dolberry noticed his fly was open. I wonder if the TSA gets that a lot ... take off your shoes ... remove your belt ... unzip your fly. Doing my part for homeland security.
Food update: ate a 50's style diner for lunch today. Hamburger was fine but bun was still frozen in the middle. Was that standard in the 50's?
None of my Facebook friends are online to chat right now (3:14a). Losers! Only 4.5 more hours to kill. Think I may go hang out at the 24hr McDonalds and see if I can make any new friends there. Plan to finish the book I'm reading. Interestingly (stop it), "experts" had notified the dam owners that their dam was likely to fail, but were harshly rebuffed as not knowing what they were talking about by those w/ vested interest in the lake and its associated lodge. Many in Johnstown and other affected communities were aware of the risk, but had no power to do anything about it. Over 2,000 people lost their lives needlessly in that case for something that was easily preventable but was sadly ... inconvienent. (oh no you di'int!)
Thursday, December 17, 2009
San Fran (day 4)
Heading home early in an attempt to beat the big (maybe) winter storm to affect the mid-Atlantic tomorrow night. My original plans called for a return around midnight, right in the period of heaviest wintry mix. My new plans call for a return in the mid-morning, hopefully before the snow starts. And as an added bonus, I get to spend the night at O'Hare. Been there. Blogged that. It's supposed to snow in Chicago as well, but later on Friday and I think they're more used to snow. Was afraid RDU would stop accepting flights & I'd be spending the weekend in Dallas. Ugh. (Did see the new stadium from the air on the way out here. Looked cool.)
Anyway, I'd put the odds of me getting home tomorrow at 50-50.
Good presentations today, including one from the now famous Michael Mann (originator of so-called "trick" in hockey stick temperature plot). Best part ... his resigned bemusement at the e-mail controversy being dubbed "Climategate" given that the original "gate" (Watergate) was all about the theft and this one has been all about what was taken ... w/ no attention paid to the theft itself.
Anyway, I'd put the odds of me getting home tomorrow at 50-50.
Good presentations today, including one from the now famous Michael Mann (originator of so-called "trick" in hockey stick temperature plot). Best part ... his resigned bemusement at the e-mail controversy being dubbed "Climategate" given that the original "gate" (Watergate) was all about the theft and this one has been all about what was taken ... w/ no attention paid to the theft itself.
San Fran (day 3)
Another full day of talks, but afterwards headed down to Fisherman's Wharf. About a 35 minute walk, but an extremely pleasant one. San Francisco is a beautiful city (and certainly eclectic). Looking back up at the city from Pier 39 is a spectacular sight. Not sure I really saw any sea lions. I did see their silouettes, if that counts. Definitely heard them. The Golden Gate Bridge was silhouetted too, but the Christmas lighted boats were very cool. Good seafood tonight plus the Boudin sourdough (thx Sonia!) and a Ghirardelli's chocolate to close it all out. The two mile walk uphill probably burned off 20% of it.
Last time I was at FW, it was w/ tbKMD in 1993. Seemed very familiar once there. Just wish I had my favorite hand to hold on this trip.
Last time I was at FW, it was w/ tbKMD in 1993. Seemed very familiar once there. Just wish I had my favorite hand to hold on this trip.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
San Fran (day 2)
Today was ~ 9 hours of talks/posters on climate change and other elements of atmospheric chemistry. One speaker noted, as he spoke to a crowd of over one thousand, that these are the golden days of atmospheric science. He said the community should be flattered that so many non-scientists are interested enough in what's being discovered to try to distort it to suit their own interests. That's a glass half full attitude right there! The DCV aims to be completely non-political, so I'll stop here on this subject other than to say that some of the presentations today were quite scary ... maybe not for Dolberry's generation ... but likely for APD's generation (guess every generation has its own challenges) & that if anyone ever wants to talk thru the subject w/ me ... I'm open to sharing what I know.
Other than that ... went to Chinatown post-conference. Ate here. Wasn't super awesome and there was a bug flying around the food, but felt that made it more authentic somehow. Went in some of the knick-knacky stores ... and got a few stocking stuffer type things. I think I'll go down to the water tomorrow.
My brilliant idea for the day ... undoubtedly influenced by the steady drumbeat of warming consequences ... is that the U.S. should buy out Canada (at least the English part). I guess we don't have much money lying around now, but maybe we could put it on layaway.
Other than that ... went to Chinatown post-conference. Ate here. Wasn't super awesome and there was a bug flying around the food, but felt that made it more authentic somehow. Went in some of the knick-knacky stores ... and got a few stocking stuffer type things. I think I'll go down to the water tomorrow.
My brilliant idea for the day ... undoubtedly influenced by the steady drumbeat of warming consequences ... is that the U.S. should buy out Canada (at least the English part). I guess we don't have much money lying around now, but maybe we could put it on layaway.
Monday, December 14, 2009
San Fran (day 1)
Made it out here no problem. Staying near Union Square. Lots of fancy shopping. An 8-story Macy's, Louis Vuitton, Gucci, and Prada. (I didn't see the devil ... as far as I know.) Lots of homeless as well. Pretty much every corner. Even a homeless dog on one corner. Sad.
I was out looking for dinner myself. No restaurants in the shopping district, apparently. Guess if you're going to shell out serious dollars to buy some fancy piece of clothing, you don't want to eat your way out of it. Ended up getting a hot dog and pretzel from a street vendor. Was only so-so.
My one thought for the day ... and I doubt it's a novel one ... but I was proud of it ... is that the question should never be "What do you want to be when you grow up?" but instead "What do you want your life to be about when you grow up?"
I was out looking for dinner myself. No restaurants in the shopping district, apparently. Guess if you're going to shell out serious dollars to buy some fancy piece of clothing, you don't want to eat your way out of it. Ended up getting a hot dog and pretzel from a street vendor. Was only so-so.
My one thought for the day ... and I doubt it's a novel one ... but I was proud of it ... is that the question should never be "What do you want to be when you grow up?" but instead "What do you want your life to be about when you grow up?"
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