Wednesday, December 31, 2008

You know what I think?

I think Ben Rothelisberger didn't suffer a concussion at all last week. I think he was so bored playing against the Browns ... that he fell asleep in the middle of the game.

I think that 2009 has a chance to be a pretty good year, if I put my mind to it.

I think that APD was right about House of Heroes. I think that their album ended up being my favorite disc of the whole year. See musical widget to the right.

I think that Willy Taveras is an upgrade over Corey Patterson. I think that the goofy singer currently vamping about on Dick Clark's Rockin' New Years Eve would be an upgrade over Corey Patterson ... even w/ all the makeup.

I think I shouldn't have eaten so many Cheeze Puffs earlier this evening.

I think I want to get in better shape. I think I want to do 4 triathlons this year.

I think I'm the only one up in our house right now.

I think God made me to do something. I think I am slow, but I think I will one day figure out what it is.

I think I just saw a commercial where a lady karate chopped an oversized donut and sprinkles sprayed all over.

I think I've stayed up too late.

I think I better wake up everyone who wanted to see the first seconds of 2009.

I think I like you DCV reader.

I think therefore I am?

I think, but I think it's better to do than think.

I think I'll see you next year.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

My Top 25 songs of the 90's

See widget to the right. Comments welcome.

Can't wait to go to Louisville for Christmas!

Friday, December 12, 2008

My White Elephant Gift @ Work

A Blockbuster video of the movie "Millions". I told the recipient it was due back on Thursday.

(actually, we lost it, then had to buy it, then found it, ugh)

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Recap of a long Thanksgiving weekend

Wed: Had a blast at the Turkey Open, which I guess is a long running golf outing held every year on the Wednesday before T-giving by the St. Michaels' men club. I was playing w/ two friends from the glorious 2-time champion Law Office squad and their brother-in-law from Sweden. It was Superball format and I did pretty much nothing all day until the last hole when one of our good players drove the green on a 320 yd par 4 ... and then I drained a 40 ft putt for eagle. That got us to 8 under which was good enough for 3rd place and a $25 gift certificate. Along w/ my closest to the pin win on Columbus Day, that brings my golf earnings to $50 over the last two months, which is $50 more than Tiger's won over that period.

Thurs: Slept in pretty late than headed out to Asheboro. Chuck cooked up a great turkey. I ate too much as usual. Played Apples to Apples w/ the cousins. Always fun. Proof that APD is pretty smart ... he had the card "mothers" and let all sort of very potentially funny adjectives go by (including evil), until tbKMD or Aunt Shelly played the adjective "beautiful" (or something like that) and won the deck.

Fri: APD and I started a convoluted Sweet 16 Heroclix tournament. Eight of his teams and eight of mine. We didn't seed it very accurately as the #10, #12, #14, & #16 have made the Final 4. We then went out to eat at my gift certificate restaurant (Beef O'Bradys) and the number of workers far outpaced the number of diners (the 3 of us). I felt a little guilty ... like if we left they could all go home. Eventually two more groups came.

Sat: Went back out to Asheboro to help Shelly and the kids move. Their new house is really nice. All that moving made Dolberry very sore, though.

Sun: Church in the morning. Nap in the afternoon. Watching my fantasy squad bear El Cueto's by about 70 points. Pretty much a standard Sunday. Am glad I am not a Texas fan because they jobbed in the whole BCS thing. They beat Oklahoma on a neutral field. Seriously, it's ridiculous that they can't put out a better product than what college football puts out for a postseason. I'll bet there aren't three bowls that are worth watching.

Bottom line: not looking forward to back-to-work tomorrow. 5-day weekends are too nice.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Life Episodes: The Hospital Laundry

In tonight's episode of "Life Episodes" ... that very special segment we sometimes run here at the DCV ... you know the one where we document the most memorable times in Dolberry's life ... (no? seriously? look back at the archives!) ... we're going to take a look back at the summer I worked at the Humana Southeast Regional Laundry. Basically, it was the summer I spent living the life of a John Steinbeck character.

(Have you ever noticed that the DCV uses a lot of ellipses ... those things right there? It's because we've lost confidence in how to use commas and semicolons. Wikipedia implies that Dolberry is on solid ground in using this device to indicate a pause in thought. So there.)

Anyway, here are my 11 most favorite jobs I've ever had (in the beloved countdown format). And please don't misunderstand ... I do not like work in any format really. So, by "favorite", I really mean "least loathsome". And by "job", I mean somebody paid me (or pays me) to do it.

11 - Research Assistant at University of Chicago
10 - Environmental Something or Another at MCNC
9 - Babysitting
8 - Sticking Random Labels on Random Forms Drone for Standard Register
7 - Environmental Protection Specialist at EPA, Region 5
6 - Modeling Director at LADCO
5 - Maintenance Worker at the Executive Inn
4 - Umpire for Hikes Point Optimist baseball
3 - Physical Scientist @ NOAA/EPA (esp. when it involves 5-day weekends like right now)
2 - Lifeguard at Woodhaven
1 - Vacation Sales Representative for Nabisco

The only job that did not make the list was the one my dear mother got me one summer at a hospital laundry. Apparently she had an "in" with someone who ran this slave labor camp in the Bluegrass Industrial Park which was conveniently located about 5 miles from our house. Dolberry doesn't remember exactly how his mom knew the Stalinesque supervisor of the laundry. I think it involved Jazzercise.

Anyway, to this point, Dolberry had done jobs #2, #4, #5, #8, and #9 ... all of which complied with basic OSHA standards for worker safety. And really Dolberry was ok with a third year of spending 15-20 hours of each summer week, avoiding the sun and warding off girls at the pool, but Mom convinced me that $0.35 less per hour was a good tradeoff for the opportunity to work 40-hour weeks (more on this later).

The summer before I'd been a maintenance worker at a hotel in Louisville (the Executive Inn). This was a good job ... in the cushy variety that I favor when it comes to occupations. Mr Luersen, a neighbor, had gotten me the job. My "maintenance" duties consisted of:

1) mowing the lawn (easy),
2) watering flowers (easier), and
3) drinking unlimited free soda with the crew in our break room (easiest).

(It is also at this job that I learned one of my favorite quotes ever, from our foreman: "We didn't get much done today, but will give'r hell tomorrow.")

So, I show up for the first day at the laundry expecting to meet some new friends and earn a few bucks ... and get my caffeine fix for the summer.

And this is no exaggeration ... I was so exhausted by the noon lunch break I put my head down on the lunch break table and slept away my 30 minute reprieve from the floor. And 15 minutes of the morning was spent in orientation.

It was the most awful job you can imagine. Go ahead ... imagine the worst job you can think of ... I'll wait ...

Yeah, this was way worse than that.

One bad thing about a hospital laundry is that people who go to a hospital often do not maintain the same hygiene level that folks outside hospitals do. I guess that's why they're in the hospital. I don't know ... I'm not a doctor. So, they bleed on stuff. They throw up on stuff. They pee on stuff. And worse. I know what you're saying ... "Well they throw all that stuff away." No, my friend, they do not. Or at least they didn't 20 years ago. They sent it to the Bluegrass Industrial Park and insisted that people making $3.55 an hour restore this stuff to its original luster. This was in the early days of AIDS but before the term "biohazard" had been coined. You'd often see needles in the incoming baskets.

Another bad thing about a hospital laundry is that there is no air conditioning. My job was to take the clothes out of the industrial washers and put them in the industrial dryers. The washers provided a nice tropical humidity and the dryers added a nice Saharan touch that combined to put heat indexes up into the 110s in the environs where I spent 8 to 9 to 10 to 11 hours a day.

That was another bad thing about the hospital laundry. You never knew when you were going home. Basically, you worked until the trucks quit bringing dirty laundry. We didn't get overtime, though. Everyday was 8 hours on the timecard. For the life of me, I still don't see how that could have been even close to legal.

At the end of that first lunch, one of my co-workers roused me out of my labor-induced coma and encouraged me that I would get used to it. I guess that was one of the nice things about the hospital laundry ... my co-workers. Dolberry was definitely the outlier ... the college boy ... the kid who knew the boss (as evidenced by he acknowledged me at least 2-3 times that summer) ... the boy who would be out of here in three months. But they accepted me. That's either a testament to the basic goodness of the common working person or a testament to the fact that Dolberry is just so darned likeable. And while there were definitely some lifers on the crew, there was a heavy rotation. So much so, that by August I was one of the veterans. You'd ask someone at lunch "Where's Tommy?" and they'd say "What? Didn't you see the news last night? I TOLD him that First National Bank ATMs had cameras. Idiot!"

Anyway, by the end of the summer I was in awesome shape. Best shape of my life. Was anxious to get back to SLU for my junior season of cross-country. Sadly, they canceled the program that fall so they could have more women sports. Seriously?

And as I look back on this, Dolberry is puzzled. I learned a valuable lesson about hard work that summer. I learned that for whatever reason, I had started life leading off 3rd base while some were still in the batting box. The blessings that I'd been given (loving parents, nice house, good schools, passably tolerable sisters, supreme intelligence, and overpowering charisma among others) ... maybe hadn't been bestowed in an equal manner on everyone else. That some people have to work incredibly hard to narrow out what many would consider to be a meager existence. The puzzling thing is that this seems like a lesson that the fatherly El Cueto would have tried to instill. Instead he got me the job where I drank soda and ate Oreos (the next two summers) and it was La Cueta that got me this job. One thing's for sure, I never complained again about her potato soup after that summer.

Writing all this down made me feel a little guilty ... not because the prose here is achingly beautiful ... which it is ... but because I know there are millions of people today working laundry-like jobs.

Sometimes, it seems like being thankful isn't enough for all the blessings you've been given.

Happy T-giving to all DCV readers!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

24 hours: an acrostic

There aren't many things better than an off Friday.
I play Sudoku with tbKMD and win two out of three.
Really no need to go outside; cold front has blasted through.
Even snowed a little bit earlier.
Drive over to church around 7p for annual lock-in.
Board games, loud music, movies, Madden 09, pizza, fun times ...
Unless you like sleep.
The youth at our church are a great group.
Hurry home at 7a for a quick 90 minute snooze,
And then drowsily lace up the running gear for my first 5K in a long long time.
Prepared (cough) for this race by running 6 or 7 times all year.
Picked it up at the 2.5 mile mark and finished feeling good in a not-too-bad 27:34.
Yeah ... life is really great when you feel like you've earned your nap.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Really cool new website

Hey, have any of you guys seen this website Jooners.com. It allows you to organize events by providing electronic signup sheets. Very helpful.

Anyway, Dolberry had the brilliant idea to organize his Christmas list. Follow this link and signup for what you want to get me. This way I can get started on my thank you notes early.

Thanks in advance.

Monday, November 10, 2008

The DCV Interview: Josh Hamilton

Last Friday, the Dolberry Cheery Vanilla blog sat down w/ Josh Hamilton, star of this year's Home Run Derby for a very special in-depth interview.

OK, technically, he was the only one sitting. Dolberry had been standing in line at the Barnes & Noble to have him autograph a copy of his book: Beyond Belief: Finding the Strength to Come Back. Nevertheless, I think you will find that when it comes to interviews of major stars that Dolberry has no peer.

Q. I wish you were still the Reds. Um, on the Reds.
A. I didn't have any choice.

Q. We were at your first Spring Training with the Reds. That was awesome. Your story is cool.
A. Thanks man.

Anyway, security hustled me out at that point, but I think Dolberry had captured the gist of it.

Dolberry's people are trying to get a sit-down (or stand-up) w/ the former chairman and chief executive of AIG, Maurice "Hank" Greenberg. They're stonewalling at present. I hope to ask him about the 1934 Detroit Tigers.

Friday, November 07, 2008

New Feature: Factcheckertron 5000

DCV staff are always wracking our brains to improve our service and provide the very best blog experience for our readers. One thing that Dolberry actually LIKED about the most recent election season was the proliferation of newspaper blurbs attempting to verify the various wild claims made by all the candidates and their supporters (or more often than not, their opponents' detractors) prior to the vote. You probably saw them, but here's an example.

Claim: Candidate A says Candidate B thinks American Idol should be canceled and replaced by Al-Qaida Idol. Further, Candidate A claims Candidate B ate a sandwich in 4th grade prepared by a lunch worker who later formed the Green Panther Creationist Party of Mordor. Candidate A (surrounded by smiling kids holding American flags) asks "Are these the kind of values we want representing us in Washington?"

Truth: Candidate B did attend 4th grade. (Then depending upon the editorial slant of the paper ... they would summarize either ...) This claim is almost entirely false. (or) This claim is partially true.

Anyway, the DCV is now going to do the same thing on non-political commercials. Enjoy! We have a few choice selections for this week's entry.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Claim #1: Bud Light claims their beer is better than other light beers because it has "superior drinkability". The commercials go onto ask if drinking water from a hose is the same as drinking water from a glass.

Truth: This commercial is ridiculous. First, if the highest claim you can make about your beverage is that it is actually potable then you have a crappy product my friend. I can think of hundreds of other liquids that are drinkable (definition ... something that can be drunk). This includes, but is not limited to: lighter fluid, Charlie Weis' sweat, & the bloody entrails of a roadkilled skunk. I would not drink these things however, no matter how easy they went down. Second, no one drinks Bud Light from a hose so that's just a red herring. Third, there's no way to prove your claim which belies its inherent meaninglessness. The claim in this commercial cannot be proven. The fact that whoever owns Anheuser-Busch now has set their marketing claims so low and nebulous probably means you should avoid this product.

Claim #2: Embarq claims you must be made of gold not to want free TV. One of the characters in the ad is purported to actually be made of gold. An irritating musical trio closes the ad w/ "they don't call her Queen Tut for nothing."

Truth: Where to start? First, people cannot be made of gold. And if a person WAS made of gold do you think they'd sit around coffee shops talking about which high-speed internet service they prefer? Of course not, they would likely be doing whatever they could to enslave the world. Or they'd be selling their fingernail clippings for cash and living on easy street. This commercial is ridiculous and it makes me mad. I went to Embarq's web site and I don't see the free TV anywhere. I do see that if you pay them $88 bucks a month you will get phone service & internet service & the DISH network. 88 is not equal to zero.

Claim #3: Sharp Aquos is running an ad w/ the tagline "Change your TV. Change your life". The clear implication is that buying a (bigger, more expensive) Aquos TV will change your life for the better.

Truth: It pains Dolberry to break this to those who can't see through this despicable mendacity but getting a better TV will not improve your life. In fact, it's pretty easy to make the argument that anything that causes you to watch more TV will make your life worse. If you want to change your life for the better ... don't buy a TV ... then turn off the TV you have ... read a book ... call a friend ... do something nice for someone ... pet your dog ... love someone ... allow someone to love you ... pray for someone that needs it ... put on some good music ... see an argument through someone else's eyes ... go for a walk ... forgive someone who's wronged you ... apologize to someone who you've wronged. Generally, live life, don't watch it. (Above paragraph does not apply to "The Office". That one you should watch. But you don't really need a fancy Aquos TV to do so.)

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

The people have spoken! Change is coming!

Brady Quinn is starting tomorrow for the Browns!!!!

It's about time. Maybe it wasn't Derek Anderson's fault the offense has gone in the tank over the past 12 games, but a change was needed.

Brady Quinn is the first Notre Dame QB ever to start for the Browns. Truly historic.

While I think Anderson is probably the better QB technically (arm, experience, right to life), I voted for Brady. Mostly because he was from Notre Dame. This may be silly, but I think it was time that the Browns had a Notre Dame QB. I think in the long run, no matter what else happens, whether he throws 20 interceptions or leads us to the Super Bowl, we will be a stronger team for it.

I am truly full of hope that he can turn around the abomination that is the Browns 3-5 season. I am proud to be a Browns fan today. But I was proud to be a Browns fan on Monday also. Hopefully Anderson fans will support Quinn through any early struggles. It's more important that we're all Browns fans ... and that the Browns prosper ... than having our preferred QB be leading the team. The Browns are a great team w/ great fans.

Of course, if we still have a losing record in 4 years, I will be advocating for someone else. Dolberry, like many fans, is notoriously fickle that way.


Monday, November 03, 2008

CHAMPIONS!


Well, I wish there was a more exciting story, but as it turned out we won rather easily. We had to beat the #4 seed (we were #2) twice since they had routed us last week (25-5), but I think we had the better team ... just had to play that way. And we did.

So we won the first game 12-1 in a 5 inning run rule. Dolberry the coach did not play Dolberry the player (actually, the game ended before I could get myself in). Then we won the second game (in a fairly steady rain for the first 3 innings) 12-2. Our pitcher and defense was spectacular all night. Dolberry went 1-2 in the 2nd game.

We have some guys on our team that are unbelievably good. We hit four over the fence HRs on the night (300 ft fences). And everyone on the team is a good person as well, so it was just a lot of fun.

There are no extra t-shirts this year ... sorry.

We'll be back for our third straight championship next year.

(Nathan, if you want to see the stats ... I'll e-mail them to you. I know you're a BIG softball stats guy.)

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

If There's a Rocket Tie Me To It


At this point in the election cycle, I'm trying to avoid anything and everything political. I've given up trying to discern which parts of America are racist (western Pennsylvania, apparently) and which parts contain anti-American Americans (thankfully not North Carolina, I guess). So, caller ID helps us avoid the robo-calls and we don't listen to the messages left behind. The mailers are glanced at on the walk from the mailbox to the recycle bin only for the amusement value ("my opponent voted for quadzillions of dollars of new taxes", "My economic plan will create a 42 million new high-paying jobs"). TV ads are tuned out or clicked away from. Fox News and MSNBC are never EVER turned on. Bulk e-mails are treated like potential viruses (deleted w/o opening). Newspaper columns from omniscient partisans are passed over. The blogosphere w/ its frenzied hordes of overwhelmingly irrational screamers is avoided like a coiled and cornered copperhead. If anyone tries to steer the conversation to the politics, Dolberry steers the conversation to softball or the weather. (OK, I do that for any non softball/weather conversations.)

So, a lot of people ask me how I pick who to vote for. It's simple, really.

I go by the jockey's silks. In the early races on the ballot (judges, sanitation commissioner, anything to do w/ agriculture, etc.) you want to take someone wearing bright colors, yellows and oranges preferably. These candidates almost always win and pay reasonably at the windows. A good example is this weekend's Breeders Cup Sprint where Midnight Lute won (pictured above). Later down on the ballot, you want someone w/ a star or horseshoe on their vest. They may not win, but they will always finish in the money (unless they are a libertarian or gelding). In the big races, you want some sort of green ... just not green and gold ... those colors are an abomination together.

Friday, October 17, 2008

My headache's gone now ...

... thanks for all your concern.

Note to bloggers everywhere: nothing will cut down on blog traffic more than a big ol' picture of Charlie Weis.

How's was my week you ask? What's it to you? Oh, you're just being friendly? Sorry it's hard to tell on these internets.

Let's see: Recapitorily, my week looked like this:

Monday: 10/13: Capital of Ohio Day. Annual OAQPS golf tournament. Dolberry's team finished last in 2005 and 2006, but we got a ringer in 2007 and did not finish last. Unfortunately, our ringer was out of town in 2008 so we went out w/ 4 "D" players and fully expected to finish 16th of 16 this year. After 4 holes we were +2 (bogey/birdie/bogey/bogey), when Dolberry went on the best 5 shot streak of golf I have ever played.

Shot 1: Tee shot on 130 yd par 3. Nestled a 9 iron to about 3 feet.
Shot 2: Made putt as leadoff putter. Team is now only +1.
Shot 3: Drive on 360 yd par 4. 260 yards to creek. Dolberry nails a drive, right down the middle, exactly 260 yards. Picked ball out of creek. No matter. I crushed that thing. Someone else on team had put one in the fairway at the 150 marker.
Shot 4: From 150 yd, hit a 7 iron to about 18 inches from hole. Ball mark was about 3" from hole.
Shot 5: Made putt for birdie. Team at even.

I returned to earth after that stretch, but played pretty well all day. We had a shot at even par if we birdied a short par 5 at the 18th. Dolberry's drive, 3 wood, & PW had us on the fringe, but we couldn't make the miracle putt. We ended up at +1 on the day. Fun times. (Oh yeah, we finished 14th.)

Tuesday 10/14: Busy day at work. Two big briefings to mgrs. of some sort. Both went ok, not great, but not bad.

Wednesday 10/15: Over the weekend I had calculated the softball stats for our team (the glorious Law Office) and uncovered, not surprisingly, that I was in the midst of my worst softball season ever ... a pitiful 10-26 (.385). (A good rule of thumb is to divide by two to get what an equivalent baseball average would be; e.g., .385 would be like hitting .192. Hello Corey Patterson!) So, we were playing the last two games of our regular season and Dolberry got 7 ABs over the two games which went as follows: line drive single, line drive single, line drive single, line drive single, HR over outfielder's head who was playing Dolberry way too shallow, line drive single, line drive single. 7 for heavenly 7! New average ... .515. (Hello mediocre Red of your choosing!). We won both games easily: 29-3 and 29-9 (pretty much everyone on our team went 7 for 7) to finish the regular season at 10-2 and in 2nd place. Tournament starts on Monday.

Thursday 10/16: Had my performance review. Am no longer outstanding. Only exceeding expectation. Not too worried about it. They can only give a finite number of O's each year. Guess it was someone else's turn this year, which is fair; we have a lot of really good workers in our group. I might have been mildly perturbed if I hadn't gone 7 for 7 the night before, but, you see, Dolberry's self-worth is tied directly to softball performance. If I do well as a husband, dad, son, brother, worker bee, youth person thingy, friend, fantasy football player, haiku writer, or HeroClix player ... well that's just gravy.

Friday 10/17: Woke up and my throwing arm hurts like crazy. Can't lift above shoulders w/o pain. What gives, arm?!? I blame this guy.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

I have a headache ... and this isn't helping!

So Dolberry is watching the UNC - Notre Dame game while getting the Sunday School lesson ready for tomorrow. Kinda tired from this cold thing, a long week, and a busy morning. So, they go to halftime and ABC hits the national viewing audience w/ the strongest attractiveness gradient ever.
Charlie Weis being interviewed by Stacey Dales.












My head nearly exploded from the contrast.

Carry on ...

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Really good article ...

This is a really good read from a great blog. Nominally, it's about the Kansas City Chiefs, but I think there's a lot more there.

Hope all are well.

Our softball team is on a streak; after starting 0-2, we are now 8-2. No thanks to me as I've been pitiful.

Work is busy, busy, busy.

All us NC Dolberries have chest colds and hacking coughs.

Lamest.post.ever

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

DCV MLB playoff picks (Return of the Rally Monkey)


Rays over ChiSox in 5
Angels over BoSox in 4

Dodgers over Cubs in 5
Brewers over Phils in 4

Angels over Rays in 5
Brewers over Dodgers in 7

Angels over Brewers in 6

Oh, I've picked 7 straight in ESPN's "Streak for the Cash" contest ... if I can pick 18 more in a row right, I'll be leaving the bloggin' business for good, suckas!

Monday, September 29, 2008

Hey, what's up with me?

Not much.

Playing some softball. We lost our first two games, but have stormed back to win 5 straight, including beating both of the teams that beat us. We're currently 3rd of 7, one game back of the leaders. I've been playing very very badly.

Our rotisserie team was horrible this year. 7th of 13. Pitiful. Our widely panned Volquez trade ended up being a net positive for the O'Jimmies, but it wasn't enough.

I'm thinking about doing another "Life Episodes" soon ... if I can think up anything else interesting that's happened to me.

The Reds season is finally over. Anyone who thinks they'll be any better next year than this year needs their optimism levels adjusted.

The beautiful KMD and APD are psyched about the ChiSox.

All this sounds negative but it's not. Things are fine here.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Looking back through old yearbooks ....

Fun day today. APD's team lost again (0-5), but he got his first ever hit to the OF on a fly. He ripped it pretty good. Then yard work. Then went swimming. It was 90 again here today.

We spent the evening looking through some of our old yearbooks. Check this link for more.

Here's APD in 1952:

The beautiful KMD has gotten better looking everyday I've ever known her. Here she was in 1966:

Surprisingly, Dolberry hasn't changed much. Here I was in 1972 in my Grand Funk Railroad days:


Finally, here's Cherish from 1996. Looking stylish.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Oh Mamma Mia!

In yesterday's blog I opined on songs that I like by bands/singers that typically do not meet, or come close to meeting, Dolberry's high standards of rockitude. This was before I had any idea of the debacle of a day that I was going to have today. You will notice there is no ABBA on the list below. I could have listed a top 500 and there still would have been no ABBA. Honestly, and this is from the heart here, I think Sweden should be listed w/ Iran, Iraq, and N. Korea in the Axis of Evil for foisting the abomination that is ABBA on the world.

It is my off Friday. And it started out fine. I did a talk on weather for 2nd graders. Came home from that and took a nap. Lunch ... it was fine.

The day went flying off the tracks and slammed into a wall of flaming debris when the beautiful KMD (tbKMD) suggested we go see a movie. Since I had chosen our anniversary movie (The Dark Knight), it was her turn to pick. She suggested Mamma Mia! because it was one of the few films that didn't appear to involve a lot of people shooting one another. After a minimal amount of research I figured out that it was a chick flick and a musical, but I accepted my fate w/grace and good cheer, because that is the way Dolberry! rolls when it comes to the marital relationship.

SPOILER ALERT -- About to reveal plot of movie




Ok. That was the plot. Worse than that ... they sang ABBA songs the whole time. Worse than that Pierce Brosnan and Meryl Streep were in it. The whole movie careened from one ABBA song to the next with no apparent plan for what was to come next. The lead actress had a smile that was far more sinister than Heath Ledger's Joker. One old guy showed his butt for no reason. There was a scene in which Meryl Streep jumped on a bed like it was a trampoline and went through about 200 costume changes in a 90 second span, all the time singing, and that was probably the "best" scene in the movie. The estrogen was literally oozing off the screen and pooling in the aisles (if estrogen does such a thing) in a massive 12 foot storm surge of girlyness.

Anyway, the league office has handed tbKMD an eight movie suspension from picking our off-Friday matinees. She plans to appeal.

It did give me an idea though. The whole thing might have worked had they set the songs to a more accomplished band ... like, say ... Def Leppard. Picture this:

John Goodman as Gunter;
John Travolta as Glieben;
Vin Diesel as Glauten;
and Winona Ryder as Globen.

Gunter, Glieben, and Glauten are competing chefs in a fancy French culinary competition to see who can make the best cake, but they need some extra sugar, and a cute singing goat tells them that there's this lady in Majorca who has this special confectioner's sugar that will guarantee them a win. They race to the island and meet the beautiful Globen on a picturesque beach and they all start singing "Pour Some Sugar on Me".

After that, they all get their picture in one of those booths you find in the mall while singing "Photograph".

But after that, Glieben makes a pass at Globen which is rejected, so he sings "Love Bites".

We need something upbeat after that pathos-saturated scene, so Goodman/Gunter sings "Animal" while (why not) walking through a zoo.

Hmmm, Globen can't believe everyone wants her special sucrose/fructose mix and in a touching scene sings "Hysteria".

Then ... I don't know ... um ... let's say there's a big wave which wipes out half the island and the whole cast sings "Armeggedon It" while dancing.

But then it turns out that was a dream sequence, so the whole cast sings "Foolin".

In the climatic scene, there's a choreographed fight scene on the Rock of Gibralter where Gunter, Glieben, and Glauten fall to their deaths while dualing/singing to "Rock of Ages".

Globen then sings a reprise of "Pour Some Sugar on Me" but sadder this time, because she'd grown to love those crazy French chefs. And then she sings "Too Late for Love", because there's still about 10 minutes left in the movie.

But then the three chefs triumphantly emerge from the surf below and are tearfully, but still dancingly, reunited with Globen. And Gunter proposes to her. And she accepts. And they all sing "Pour Some Sugar on Me" again with fireworks in the flaming sunset.

As the credits roll ... over "Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad" we'll toss in a scene in which the actors sing and throw cake at each other with super-huge grins.

I might go see that ...

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Top 10 songs that you wouldn't think Dolberry likes, but he does

10: The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down - Joan Baez
9: You're the One that I Want - Olivia Newton John and John Travolta
8: Forever in Blue Jeans - Neil Diamond
7: Beer for My Horses - Toby Keith and Willie Nelson
6: Falling Down - Atreyu
5: Hey Ya! - OutKast
4: Wide Open Spaces - Dixie Chicks
3: I Got You Babe - Sonny and Cher
2: Since U Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson
1: Staying Alive - The Bee Gees

Just so you know ....

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Circus Boy

So ... I turn 42 in a few hours.

I think it's reasonable to expect that I've lived about half my life at this point. And I'm ok w/ that. I've always considered myself to be a second half team, anyway. I just need to make some halftime adjustments. Here's what I'm thinking:

First, I'm thinking I need to be a little less conservative. Air it out a little bit. Maybe press a little bit in the backcourt. It seems to me that life favors the aggressive. And being aggressive doesn't have to equal being obnoxious. I think I need to reach out a little more. I'm guessing that 95% of all people, if they have regrets at all at the end of life, regret the things they didn't do more than the things that they did do. I think sometimes I'm governed by my fears (rejection and failure, primarily) ... in the second half I'm going to swing for the fences occasionally. I may strike out some ... but maybe I'll get a hold of a few.

Second, I think I've done a pretty good job of sticking to my game plan ... provide a good return on the talents that God gave me by making the world a marginally better place ... but the execution has been poor at times. I've missed some opportunities to do good. Need to keep my eyes open to where I can help and step in accordingly.

Third, I need to get in my face a little bit here at halftime. My greatest shortcomings are still selfishness and laziness. A friend of mine said recently "Why accept mediocrity? Why?" (He wasn't talking about me ... but he might as well have been.) I need to move the puck up the ice a little faster, finish some checks, start blasting some one-timers. The race may be half over. I have the stamina to finish it. I can pick up the pace a little. I simply need to start giving 100%.

Before closing w/ a section from a really cool book I'm reading, I want to say how much I love my teammates down here. tbKMD, APD, Mom, Dad, Kathy, Kris, Carrie, GMa Fitz, the rest of my family, and all my friends ... thank you, thank you, thank you .... now let's go get 'em.

"Sometimes I feel as though I were born in a circus, come out of my mother's womb like a man from a cannon, pitched toward the ceiling of the tent, all the doctors and nurses clapping in delight from the grandstands, the band going great guns in trombones and drums. I unfold and find flight hundreds of feet above the center ring, the smell of popcorn in the air, the clowns gather below, amazed at my grace, and all the people chanting my name as my arms come out like wings and I move swan-like toward the apex, where I draw my arms in, collapse my torso to my legs, roll over in perfection, then slowly give in to gravity. My body falls back toward earth, the ground coming up quick, the center ring enormous beneath my falling weight.

And this is precisely when it occurs to me that there is no net. And I wonder, What is the use of a circus? and Why should a man bother to be shot out of a cannon? and Why is the crowd's applause so fleeting? and ... Who is going to rescue me?"

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Tropical Storm Hanna did not disappoint

Best weather day of the year! Wind gusts topped out at maybe 35-40 mph. The airport got over 5 inches of rain and I'm sure we did too. It's ramping down here, now. Here's a video summary.

Tropical Storm Hanna #6

The Dolberry Tropical Weather Centre is online early this morning. Hanna came onshore near the NC/SC border ~ 3:30am. Most of the highest winds have been detected by offshore buoys. The highest wind gust I've heard of was a 67 mph gust at Wrightsville Beach.

It was raining hard here when I woke up (slacked off some now), but there's been very little wind (< onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5L0GEQVDOoj64cgxMPv95WOJx6DxFsyXvsf-TW7vtsLGrrZVcUzNjN_xeN6Hs5gUyeLYTQdeKAnHU8pjZKkAj0-t5DHLqMdlTYJfIPi2MA2fG0Px9AsLKQJpGW21YDAzBxgFqvQ/s1600-h/doppler1-640x480.jpg">

Friday, September 05, 2008

Tropical Storm Hanna #5

Hanna is approaching. In an ominous sign, the first rain from the storm occurred in my office when drops of water started falling from the ceiling around 3:15 this afternoon. (I called EPA building support, but they still hadn't come by the time I left. It eventually stopped dripping.) The real rain started around 4p w/ some squally showers. It apparently rained hard while the beautiful KMD & I were at a movie (celebrating our 16th anniversary ... Dolberry is a lucky dude). It kinda sprinked while we drove to dinner. Winds were maybe 7 mph or so.

Anyway, the official forecast here is for gusts of up to 40 mph around sunrise tomorrow. The Weather Channel has us w/ a low risk for power outages.

It looks to me like Hanna is starting to form an eye ... and the hurricane hunters have found that the pressure has dropped to 974 mb. But they haven't found any winds above 74 mph, so it's still a tropical storm. When it gets closer to shore, the Doppler radars should be able to sample what the strongest winds truly are.


There was a tornado warning for a county about 100 miles from here, but that cell dissipated rapidly. We're in a High Wind Warning. The wind is just now starting to pick up some, blowing the blinds periodically.

I'll probably wake up early tomorrow to get some pictures and for APD and I to have our traditional "Hurricane Race" where we race each other around the yard in the height of the heaviest rain and wind. I'm 0-4 in these races, but I haven't had a shot in a few years. Tomorrow is my day.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Tropical Storm Hanna #4

Hanna is still projected to come onshore early Saturday morning near the NC/SC border. The primary change is that the models and the NHC don't see much chance that Hanna strengthens into a hurricane. But it'll be a strong tropical storm. And it'll be fast moving. And it is has a very large wind field. All that should conspire to produce a brief (~6 hours) period of fairly significant winds tomorrow night and early Saturday morning. Could see gusts in the 30-40 mph range which hopefully will do no more than scatter some limbs.

Will be interesting to see how much rain we get. The HPC says Hanna will dump a quick 2-3 inches in our area. Also the SPC says we're slight risk for severe weather, tornadoes presumably.


Tomorrow should be an interesting weather day in Apex. It may even surpass the Great Non-Sticking Blizzard of January 19th as the biggest weather day of the year.

Then all eyes turn to Hurricane Ike. The models have started to lock into a southern track, which is bad news for Florida or Cuba. Climatologically though, most major hurricanes (9 of 10) that are where Ike is tend to miss the U.S. (recurve to sea). I tend to trust climatology more than the models at days 5 and beyond.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Tropical Storm Hanna #3


The models continue to shift ever so slightly east and delay Hanna's passage. The NHC is thinking landfall near the NC/SC line early Saturday morning, but then tracking due north and eventuall northeast. This would likely leave us on the west side of the storm which will be calmer and drier. There's still some spread to the models, so it's not a done deal that we're off the hook.
The NHC expects to issue a hurricane watch for the Carolina coasts tomorrow which will likely cancel Mrs D's girls youth group retreat.
Should have a better idea tomorrow night. Maybe worse news is that the models are starting to show Category 4 Ike making a NWward turn toward day 5. We'll see.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Tropical Storm Hanna #2

Hurricane Hanna got ripped up by shear today, but is still hanging on as a tropical storm. If it can make it another 12-24 hours, the shear should relax somewhat ... allowing Hanna to restrengthen.


The models today seem to have moved the storm south w/ the cluster centered around Savannah GA. Due to the angle of approach of the storm, a small deviation to the south could mean a central FL landfall; conversely, a small deviation to the north could mean a NC landfall.


For reasons not clear to me, the NHC are predicting a landfall near Charleston SC, w/ a track right over Apex around 2am Saturday morning. Anyway, until the storm gets its act together and starts actually moving toward the U.S. ... it's too soon to get too excited.

Monday, September 01, 2008

Hurricane Hanna #1


The above graphic shows the various weather models' predictions of Hurricane Hanna's path. There is a slight shift north in the predicted tracks w/ 4 of the 6 models predicting a South Carolina landfall on Friday afternoon at a strength of ~ Cat 2. Unfortunately, the models aren't that good at days 3-5. Further, the models have struggled w/ this storm thus far. (Maps from the Weather Underground.)


If and when HH hits the Carolinas it's projected to be racing inland pretty quickly. Using NOAA's inland wind model, a Cat 2 hitting the East Coast at a forward speed 12 knots (14 mph) could bring 50-65 kts (57-74 mph) winds along its path well inland (e.g., Apex).

We'll see ...

Friday, August 15, 2008

Fun w/ the Myers-Briggs ...

So, sometime last week (the DCV is running behind ... playing too much PacMan), the beautiful KMD, APD, & I took an online version of the Myers-Briggs test. The results were pretty funny.

Dolberry was an ESFP, aka "The Joker". Here's what they say about ESFPs ...
"As adults, ESFPs lead what might look like "a charmed existence,' even when things are not going well for them. They live with the idea that "the glass is half full" and seem to land on their feet, even when they are not sure how. They usually find a niche for themselves in any situation because of their spontaneity and flexibility. For ESFPs bring a liveliness to a groups to which they belong. Life is meant to be enjoyed and is not taken too seriously."

That does kinda sound like Dolberry. My preferred jobs include: hair stylist. Jobs not suited for ESFPs ... physical scientist (which is what i am). Hmmmmm. Famous ESFPs include Ronald Reagan AND Bill Clinton. Famous fictional ESFPs: this guy.

---

The beautiful KMD was an ISFJ, aka "The Nurturer". Here's what they say about ISFJs ...

"ISFJs are super-dependable and seldom are happy working in situations where rules are constantly changing. Their major need to be of service to others leads them into occupations such as nursing, teaching, secretarial work, medical practice (especially general practice), librarian work, and middle management administrative jobs. They relate well to people who need them, for example, the sick, the ignorant, students, and the "boss." Much satisfaction comes to them when they are taking care of the needs of another and they render the service gently and helpfully. While ISFJs are super-dependable, they may be fascinated by and attracted to the irresponsible, the lush, the glutton."

That does kinda sound like the beautiful KMD, though the part about the glutton was a bit of a low blow. I'm just big-boned. Anyway,
preferred jobs include: homemaker/teacher. Jobs not suited for ISFJs ... rock star. Famous ISFJs include Kristy Yamaguchi and Queen Elizabeth II. Famous fictional ISFJs: this lady.

---

APD was an INFP, aka "The Dreamer". Here's what they say about those people:

INFP children often create their own fantasy world and live very much within it. They may daydream about what is important to them, and sometimes others wonder if they are in touch with reality. They often get lost in their thoughts and books, and may develop a special ability in communicating, such as writing. They are somewhat reserved, especially in new situations.

Sounds like 3 for 3. Good jobs for INFPs ... an architect (which is what APD wants to be). Bad jobs ... office worker. Famous INFPs include J.R.R. Tolkien and Mr. Rogers. Famous fictional INFP ... it's not Bart or Lisa, instead this kid.


What personality type are DCV readers? Feel free to comment below.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

The DCV has it's own spinoff now.

If you're as tired of reading about Dolberry as I am tired of writing about him, then perhaps you also will enjoy my new blogging venture. It's the story of a high school basketball coach, but hopefully it'll be about more than that.

Please check it out & let me know what you think. Thanks!

What I did on my blogging vacation (part 2)

Whoa, ho, I've been busy. Too busy to blog that's for sure. What have I been doing? Hmmm. Lots of stuff. Let's see what I can remember. Bear w/ me a bit, here.

Well, let's see, there was yesterday. Yesterday, I played softball. It was the State Church Tournament. 12 teams. We lost our first game, then won the next two, then lost the last one. I was 8 for 15 on the day which is about what I always do. It was a lot of fun, as always.

Before that ... I remember I worked a full week. That was tiring.

Before that ... we went on vacation to Emerald Isle w/ most of the Dolberry family. That was a lot of fun. Maybe even more than softball.

Before that ... I went to Colorado for work. That was fun and tiring. I drove into Rocky Mountain National Park which was a cool experience. If I was a better blogger, I'd have written about it and taken some pictures.

Before that ... we went to Louisville, Boone, and Evansville. It was really cool to see all the people we saw. Oh, and it was fun and tiring.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Life Episodes: The Fleetwood Mac concert

In the continuing series of "Life Episodes", we're entering into the way back machine and turning the dial all the way back to November 7th, 1979. Your hero, Dolberry, has recently turned 13 and is in 7th grade at Myers Middle School.

(Aside here: my favorite memory of Myers Middle ... and admittedly it's the best from a small sample of happy memories ... is the week I got to walk home from school to Gma & Gpa Fitz house because I was staying there while my Mom & Dad were in ... Las Vegas. This (ahem) "hands-off" nature to parenting actually sets up the rest of the Life Episode pretty well. Second favorite memory was when Mrs Coffey gave me 5 demerits ... but you've all heard THAT story.)

Anyway, my best friend in those days was David DuBard (David, if you google search your name ... hey we all do it ... and get this link ... e-mail me ... hope all is well.) One of the radio stations in Louisville was running a "Magic Bus" contest. Winners got to invite a friend to accompany them on a bus ride to the Fleetwood Mac concert at the Riverfront Coliseum. Well, David was the 43rd caller (or whatever) and won two seats on the bus and he invited Dolberry to go as well.

Dolberry agreed to go, fully expecting his parents to sensibly veto this decision, thus allowing our hero to save face w/ his peers and at the same time not risk his barely-just-having-gotten-started life w/ 10,000 addled devotees of a mediocre group of 70's hippie rock. For whatever reason they did not. I have a vague recollection they were in Reno over that period ... but I could be wrong on that.

Now keep in mind, at age 13 Dolberry had been to exactly two concerts:

1) Joe Wise in a church gym w/ my entire fam (except El Cueto who was at the riverboat if I remember right), where we rocked out to numbers like "The Epic of Peanut Butter and Jelly" and "The Grizzleback Snookerhog", and

2) John Denver and the Starland Vocal Band w/ my Mom. (I think we got the tix from her bookie.)

Bottom line: I may not have been ready for the Fleetwood Mac Tusk tour. I know a fair number of 7th graders ... some of them read this blog. Frankly, I wouldn't trust one of them to point out Cincinnati on a map ... let alone travel two hours back and forth there on their own for a rock concert.

Anyway, I recall heading out from home on that Wednesday night ... a school night no less (!) ... telling Kathy & Kris that there was Mac & Cheese in the cupboard, to keep a good eye on Carrie, and that I'd be back sometime around 1 am. I walked up to that old Sub Shop near that rundown hotel near the intersection of I-64 and Hurstbourne. We met some of our compatriots on the magic bus and it was at best a "wayward" contingent. On the bus, our chaperone told us "that only cigarettes were allowed on the bus ... save the good stuff for the concert". Dolberry stood up in his bus seat and said "I'm OUT." I called my Mom and Dad (crying like a little girl) at the Bingo Hall and asked to be picked up.

There was a lot of fallout from that decision. 1. Dolberry grew a little bit by making a wise decision on his own and truth-be-told (unlike the rest of this post) those are the only experiences we really learn from ... when we're accountable for our own actions. 2. Dolberry was mocked by most of his 7th grade peers for a considerable period. 3. Dolberry's parents "re-engaged" w/ their parental responsibilities ... all is great now and I can't wait to see them at Churchill Downs this weekend.

(There was a tragic epilogue to the story. A little less than 4 weeks later, 11 people were killed at Riverfront Coliseum at a Who concert when the crowd attempted to storm the entry doors before the arena opened. Very sad.)


Anyway, let's end this blog bit on a happier and more traditional note ... w/ Dolberry's Top 10 Attended Concerts ever:

10. Big Country's New Year's Eve show at the Barrowlands (didn't actually attend ... but have the CD)
9. The Rainmakers @ Park West w/ Stephen in 1989?
8. Newsboys/Toby Mac/Relient K at Kings Dominion in 2005 w/ tbKMD and APD
7. Warren Zevon at the Park West in Chicago w/ Stephen and friends from EPA R5
6. Switchfoot in big old open field at Campbell Univ w/ the TCC YG
5. The Rainmakers in a "private concert" at WXRT studios w/ Stephen
4. John Mellencamp w/ the Super Sisters and Stephen in Indianapolis
3. John Denver w/ my Mom in Louisville a long long time ago
2. Switchfoot, Relient K, & Ruth w/ the beautiful KMD and APD last fall in Winston-Salem
1. U2 in St. Louis w/ Matt Jung

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Dolberry Days

A recap of my last few weeks.

May 30: Blue (Apex) loses 14-7
May 31: Blue loses 12-11
Jun 1: Blue wins 10-7

Jun 3: Gold (Cary) loses 19-18

Jun 5: (DH) Gold wins one and loses one
Jun 6: Blue wins 18-1 to earn #3 seed in tournament (finished 8-7)
Jun 7: (DH) Blue beat #6 seed 15-0, then upset #2 seed 14-11 in extra innings
Jun 8: Blue lost in the championship of the winner's bracket 8-6. (I hit a 3-run HR in this one.)

Jun 10: Gold team won 13-6, last game of regular season finished 3rd (8-6)

So after 11 games in 13 days (w/ very sore muscles), tonight was supposed to be the start of the Cary tournament with one game if we won & two if we lost the first one. Instead, we got "smoked" out. Really bad air quality here today (code red) due to fires in eastern NC, so Cary canceled all their games. I also play on our Office team in the EPA league (though I've missed every game so far due to other conflicts). One would think that the EPA league would be canceled on bad AQ days, but one would be wrong. So, I got to play today after all ...

June 12: EPA team lost 15-8.

Tomorrow, we need to win three straight games to win the Apex crown. Any loss & we are done. I've been playing better lately, so it's been fun. No games though Saturday, Sunday, & Monday ... maybe my soreness will abate.

Hope all readers are doing great!

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Things can only slow us down if we let them ...

Check out this story. See video link on the right. Very cool.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Maybe I've Been the Problem ...


... maybe I'm the one to blame.

I've been thinking, maybe I've been partly cloudy, maybe I'm the chance of rain
Maybe I'm overcast and maybe all my luck's washed down the drain

But when I look at the stars ... when I look at the stars,
When I look at the stars, I see someone else,
When I look at the stars, I feel like myself

------------------
Hey, ho faithful readers and longtime hail contemplators ... wzzzzup?

I'll tell you what's up here ... in snippet format. The official format of the DCV.

Names: Did you see that the SSA came out w/ their list of most popular baby names for 2007? There were some odd things as noted by the SSA data collectors:

1) there are seven boys names that rhyme w/ "maiden" in the Top 102: Jayden (No. 18); Aiden (No. 27); Aidan (No. 54); Jaden (No. 76); Caden (No. 92); Kaden (No. 98); & Ayden (No.102). (Then there were another 27 in the top 1000: Braden; Cayden; Jaiden; Kaiden; Aden; Caiden; Braeden; Braydon; Jaydon; Jadon; Braiden; Zayden; Jaeden; Aydan; Bradyn; Kadin; Jadyn; Kaden; Jaydin; Braedon; Aidyn; Haiden; Jaidyn; Kadyn; Jaydan; Raiden; and Adin.)

Raiden? Really? Kris & Tim ... I nominate Quayden before it gets too trendy.

2) "Neaveh" is the #36 name for girls. It's backwards for "heaven". I just wish Harry Carey had lived long enough to see this. Strangely enough, "Lleh" is not in the top 1000. Parents are pretty optimistic I guess, at first.

APD/School: He's done w/ 5th grade. Haven't gotten his report card yet, but it looks like he got straight A's all four quarters. And he was like U2 at the Grammys in his elementary school awards ceremony (thankfully w/o Bono's "expressive" Irish tongue) ... collecting 5 awards including Top Math Student in 5th grade and Top Reader of the School. He has been blessed w/ excellent teachers every step of the way. The beautiful KMD & I are so thankful that he's had such talented and caring instructors helping him get where he's at (not really that far ... only 6th grade ... pick it up son). Blog-reading teachers ... we salute you. Truly important work, it is that you do.

APD/Baseball: His team won their first tournament game tonight & it was exciting, 6-5. The tying run was on second in the bottom of the sixth, but two great plays by their SS & P won the game for them. They were 9th of 10, so having dispatched #8, they now get to face the #1 seed on Saturday. APD hasn't gotten a hit since shortly after Abner Doubleday invented the game, but he's playing good defense, having fun, & most importantly has a great attitude about it all ... so it's all good.

Softball: Dolberry's play has been erratic at best. More bad than good, I'd say. I have 6 games over the next 7 days, so maybe I'll get into a groove. Dolberry is currently putting a hurt on the bathroom scale and the scale has somehow karmaically retaliated against my poor heel & Achilles. Anyway, I think both my teams are in 3rd w/ similar records (6-4 and 6-5). About 2-3 weeks left in the spring season.

Work: Is fine.

Other things: Can't really think of anything else. Oh, I added another blog to my list of ones that have the Dolberry seal of approval. Enjoy! Hey, toodle-oo everybody! Thanks for reading!

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Golf ball sized hail in Apex


Not at our house unfortunately, though. Storm just rolled through. One of the few storms I can remember that you heard coming about 90 seconds before it came. Loud winds and presumably the hail was making some noise. As it blew by here, it hailed for about 90 seconds. The biggest I could see (i.e., landed on the porch) was just over pea-sized, but not quite marble-sized. Very cool!

I know DCV readers want to know where it ranks among hailstorms that Dolberry has experienced. I rate this as the 4th best hail storm I've ever seen.

#5 Louisville, 1983? - The one that dented our station wagon & El Cueto got the insurance company to pay us for (ahem) "repairing" it. I don't really remember the storm or I'd rank it higher.

#4 Apex, 2008 - For about 45 seconds, this storm was as good as any storm. Pea-sized, but plenty of it.

#3 Apex, 2004? - Remember it nearly covered the ground. Want to say it was in March.

#2 Arnold MO, 1989? - Was visiting Ron McCann over 4th of July and there was a huge storm. Largest hail I've ever seen. Just short of golf-ball sized.

#1 Louisville, 1984? - The one that shredded our awning. That was awesome! Remember it hit right around 5pm and I tried to watch it from our front porch but got scared when the wind ripped the door out of my hands. Retreated to the basement at that point and watched out that little window by the dryer.

(Remember, graupel is not hail. The Derby Day graupel event is #1 in graupel events. 1 of 1. If I did count it as hail, I'd probably put it as #2 or #3 on this list.)

I'm going to bed now, though. Lousy poison ivy + PI medicine has made sleep pretty much a non-entity over the last two weeks. Feel sorry for me! (that's pitiful, more so than the hail countdown)

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Run for the Roses: Episode 134 (by guest blogger APD)

The Dolwicks had a very busy day on Saturday. Peak Fest, baseball, Derby party, tournament, you name it, we had it.
We started off with some BIG Spring Cleaning, outside and in.

Lawn Mowed: Check
Walk Swept: Check
My Room Cleaned: Check
Vacuumed House: Check

Next: Peak Fest AND my Heroclix tournament for a special figure AT THE SAME TIME! Problemo? Nah! Mom (a.k.a. KMD, in All-Important-PAT's words) & I dropped Dolberry off in downtown Apex for TCC booth in PF, maneuvered around traffic, and headed toward AF&G.

Heroclix Tourney: Check
Peak Fest: Check

Unfortunately, after winning once and losing once, (tourney probably had 3 games for each player) I had to forfeit because I had more on my schedule.
Next: Baseball game vs. undefeated White Sox.
I Gobbled down Wendy's, then Mom dropped me off and went to get Dolberry at PF.
In baseball, I went 0-1 w/ BB. My team was up 5-nil going into bottom of 4th w/ about 20 min. left. We Gave Up 7! Sox clean-up was up and we were up 5-3 w/ 2 outs. I was playing CF. Mr. Cleanup hits a TOWERING fly to CF. I was far back in the OF, but ball drifted over my head even w/ a dive towards it. Triple. 3 runs score. We end up losing 7-5.

Baseball: Check

Next: The biggie of the day: The 10th annual Dolwick Kentucky Derby Party.

But before that, for once in the jam-packed schedjy, we had a one-and-a-half hour break until the jam-packedness came back.
We had a smaller party than usual this year, even though it was the 10th annual. Dolberry invited three friends from EPA/NOAA/work; two of them brought family. One came over early (early meaning about 3:35) to watch STL play our national past-time. (Um, you missed the message, but we're having a party for horse racing, not baseball. We already had our baseball part of the day. See, I have it all planned out here!) Whatever the case, D-berry decided to show extra hospitality and let him in before the gates opened. Once everyone came, we hung out and ate from about 4 to about 6, (the eating started at about 5:20, of course. I could never eat for two hours.) which was when the Call to the Posts came (precisely 6:04). And we'll have MR. fancy schmancy ESPN announcer call the race... Aw, well, he bailed on me, but at least I can show you the results.


RESULTS
Winner: #20 Big Brown
Place: #5 Eight Belles*
Show: #12 DenisofCork

* = Filly



Unfortunately, I didn't want to take the time to show you the rest of the results.
Unfortunatelier, (a word I learned from my arguable favorite Christian writer, Bill Myers) that means you'll have to look them up yourself.
Unfortunateliest, the filly, Eight Belles, fell down after finishing and had to be euthanized.
Unfortunatelierer, (
that one I made up myself) which is a word that is unfortunatelier than unfortunatelier, but ununfortunatelier than unfortunateliest, I have no more unfortunatelies to say (whatever that means). Confused? How unfortunate.
After the Derby, we finished dinner, then went outside. The kids, Kevin, 13, Sarah, 6, Jake, 4, brother of Sarah, and I, 11, played while the grownups, led by D-class berry (must not have tasted very good) talked about poison ivy and other stuff. After a while, the adults went inside because the mosquitoes were bad. Mosquitoes don't like my taste. They never have, and they hopefully never will. The other kids stayed outside, too. we played with tennis balls and Cherish, our dog for a long time.
When it was time for people to leave, we handed out Mom's cookies on their way out.
Finally, our day was over. After taking a shower, I went to bed.

The next day was Sunday. Mom stayed home from church because she had a bad headache. Everyone in my family was tired. Mom & Dad were very tired. I was just normal tired I met my Sunday School teacher on the way in. She said, "Alex, you look like you just got out of bed."
"Actually," I replied, "I'm probably the most
awake in my whole family!"





I am honored to be the first guest blogger in this archive of indescribably great blends of art, talent, and writing, and I am amazingly overjoyed that I was hand-picked by the highly esteemed, fluent, and legendary Dolberry himself.

-
Alexander Paul Dolwick











Yeah, right, what fancy schmancy overrated speech do you want me to be forced to recite next?!?!?!? Some war victory speech by a leader of the French Resistance? A revealance of a Pablo Picasso painting? James Buchanan's Inaugural Address???!!!???!!!!?!?!? GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-very sincerely,
APD



Saturday, May 03, 2008

Derby Picks

4 - Eight Belles
3 - Z Fortune
2 - Colonel John
1 - Pyro

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Another Apex oddity

This happened early last Friday. You gotta love Apex.

As one wag has already commented ... he should have worked for the ABC station as their slogan is "Eyewitness News".

A lot going on ...

recapping quickly what you've missed if you haven't been in Dolberry's shoes lately ...

Friday: Won a softball game 18-3. Dolberry didn't do much.

Saturday: APD's first game of the year. In his very first AB in the 11-12 league he got an RBI single to put his team up 1-0, then stole 2nd. They ended up losing 8-2. He grounded out in his 2nd AB. Dolberry spent the rest of the afternoon working in the yard and coming in contact again w/ the dreaded poison ivy. Went to movie w/ youth group. Fun.

Sunday: Was 4th in line at the opening of the urgent care at 8am. Don't think I've waited in line before something opened ... since waiting for U2 tickets in college. Got my steroids. Went out to
Asheboro to see the cousins/Shelly/Chuck. Was fun, but I fell asleep while out there due to Benadryl. Others that were awake reported that it was fun.

Monday: Travelled to DC to make a presentation to the director of EPA's Office of Transportation & Air Quality. Think it went pretty well. Always fun to go to DC. Makes you feel like you're doing something important. Always nice to spend $16 dollars for a burger for lunch as well.

Tuesday: People at work were asking me who punched me in the face as PI has spread pretty much over my entire face, neck, arms, and lower legs. Both Dolberry softball and APD baseball games got rained out (thankfully, in my case).

Today: APD's team evened their record at 1-1 w/ a 4-1 victory. One of APD's teammates jacked one out of the yard which was quite impressive. APD followed him and Dolberry called for back-to-back jacks, but he grounded out instead. Still he had a walk and another SB. Good little player. He is totally not afraid of these fast pitchers ... he knows what a strike is ... and he can make contact w/ pretty much any pitch. Still needs to grow into some power, obviously.

Upcoming: I am going to spray enough Roundup through our yard this weekend to undo any good I've ever done for the environment while at EPA. I am going to spray enough Roundup to kill pretty much any organic thing w/in a 2-block area. Maybe the big maple tree will survive, but I wouldn't count on it.

Hope all is well for all DCV readers, near and far ...

Thursday, April 17, 2008

So, we're driving home this evening ...

... after the beautiful KMD picked me up from the bus stop and we see a guy using a weed eater to trim along his driveway a ways ahead (50 yards top) and tbKMD says:

"That's the littlest dog I've ever seen."

She said this in reference to the weedeater. This was after she said my two choices for dinner were chicken breast sandwiches or turkey breast sandwiches. Wow.

On a more encouraging note ... APD had a baseball scrimmage and played really well. Against much faster pitchers than he'd seen in 4 season of 9-10 yr old baseball, he worked a 8 pitch walk in the first and grounded into a 5-4 FC on his 2nd AB, after hitting a line drive down the LF line that was just a few feet foul. I was impressed.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Labels and blog topics

One of the upgrades to the DCV made in our makeover from a few weeks ago was to start adding labels to blog posts. That way, you, the reader, can go straight to the topics of your interest when checking out the archive for some salient piece of Dolberry wisdom (see the "blog topics" on the left side of the page). A lot of lesser blogs don't offer this convenience.

Anyway, one of my favorite labels is "genius ideas" and I've got two more of them tonight.

1) When a network promotes a new show incessantly during an event your interested in (e.g., TBS' full blast assault w/ Frank TV during the baseball playoffs) and the show is awful and gets ratings that are surpassed by Ginzu knive infomercials, they are not allowed to take it off the air until it has aired at least as many times as thousands of commercials, guest appearances in the booth, or seemingly impromptu mentions by the broadcasters. (How's that for a sentence. Diagram that one.) For example, say there were 14,856 commercials for Temptation Island during a two-week promotional blitz, plus there were 234 mentions of the show by Joe Buck for a total just over 15,000. Thus, Fox would be required by law (Dolberry's Law) to show at least 15 episodes and take the ratings hit. I think this would curtail the every-90-seconds reminders the networks think we need.


2) In the same vein, if a developer clears out a whole bunch of trees to build a shopping center in which more than half the stores remain unoccupied (or have gone out of business) one year later ... that developer is required to clear out all his concrete and asphalt and replant the trees. OK, well, new trees. There needs to be some penalty for so badly misgauging the consumer economy w/ a useless building at the expense of useful trees. We could call it Dolberry's Law.

Tonights labels: genius ideas and ginzu knives.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

The darkness has no choice before the dawn ...

Today was opening day for APD, but after a really nice start to the day (temps in the mid 70s), rain moved in around 2:00p and caused the postponement of his team's 3pm game. He's on the Braves this year. Some pictures follow.




I mowed the lawn this morning w/ my brand new Cub Cadet lawn mower. Very fun. Not much assembly required ... though I was a little confused when it told me to remove the 'mulching baffle'. The folks who write these instruction manuals are just ridiculous.

Today is 4/12. Which is the title of a really cool Switchfoot song. Lyrics follow. Enjoy!

Been having trouble staying asleep
You've been waking up at 4:12
You roll the voices over in your head
Then you try to put them neatly on the shelf
You watch the sun rise
You saw the darkness had no choice before the dawn
With your own eyes
And then you broke out laughing from a yawn

You said
I’m so sorry I’ve been so down, I
I started doubting things could ever turn around
And I began to believe that all we are is material
It’s nonsensical, (yes it is)

So you walk outside and everything’s new
You’re looking at the world with new eyes
As if you’d never seen a sky before this blue
As if you’ve never seen the sky in your whole life
And then the phone rings
As it turns out, you're already late
And now you’re wondering
Was peace just a temporary state

You’re waiting tables and parking cars
You’ve been selling cell phones at the shopping mall
And you began to believe that all you are is material
It’s nonsensical

I’m so sorry I’ve been so down
I started doubting things could ever turn around
But I still can’t believe that all we are
And that all of are dreams
Are nothing more than material
Souls aren’t built of stone, sticks and bones (repeat 12x)

Thursday, April 10, 2008

The DCV Interview

The DCV was lucky to sit down this evening (via phone) with two great youngsters enjoying a Spring Break week at Disney World. Thank you to Miss A and EAB for taking some time to share their experiences thus far w/ the DCV.

Q. What's been the highlight of your trip so far?
A. Miss A: I liked the ride "Soaring". You get to fly over San Francisco in a hang glider.

Q. What's been your favorite park?
A. EAB: Animal Kingdom. There was a funny gorilla who was like "I don't want to see you." He had his back to us for a long time. Then he started peeing, for an even longer time.

Q. Has the food been good?
A. EAB: Daddy ordered 3 dinners and 3 desserts tonight. Miss A: This morning we went to the Princess Breakfast and I got autographs from Jasmine, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Mulan, and Belle. EAB: One of the princesses said I was a monkey. I loved the bacon, but I didn't like the cinnamon roll.

Q. Have the lines been long?
A. EAB: No. For "Soaring" you just go straight in, then stop a bit, then go.

Q. Tell me about a special experience you've had at Disney World?
A. Miss A: I was chosen to be a padawan at the Star Wars Jedi Training Facility. I got to go up on stage and be part of the show. We got to swing lightsabres and fight Darth Vader. Storm Troopers ran on the stage. It was so fun. EAB: And I got a Darth Vader outfit.

Q. What country did you like best at Epcot?
A. Miss A: I like Japan, Mexico, and especially England because they let us stay late at their restaurant so we could watch the fireworks. We've seen fireworks every night, except tonight.

Q. How the hotel been?
A. EAB: Great. We have 4 TV's. Miss A: They have three pools, one w/ waves, one shaped like a flower, and one shaped like a bowling pin.

Q. Last question. Would you recommend to someone who's never been to Disney World that they go?
A. Miss A: "Yes, they should. Everyone should go." EAB: "You should go. You can even borrow one of our TVs."

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Sayonara Sarasota (after 2009)

The Goodyear (AZ) city council approved $33 million to expand the spring training facility they're building for the Indians into one that will house the Reds and the Indians. This probably signals the end of our annual pilgrimage to Sarasota.

I know as a blogger I'm expected to bloviate knowingly that either Sarasota or Goodyear elected officials screwed things up royally, but I think only time will tell. Sarasota's mayor indicated that there was doubt on whether the Reds were just posturing ...

"There has been a feeling in the community that the Reds would not leave, that they were simply threatening the city of Sarasota and they weren't going anywhere," she said. "Well, now reality has set in. They are going."

Dolberry is just a fan but it seemed clear from the beginning (2-3 years ago) that the Reds were looking to improve their position. I do think it was a good move on the part of the Reds. Ultimately, it will save them money, maybe enough for them to sign an extra early-round draftee or two next year. People in Sarasota are talking about maybe the Orioles moving into Ed Smith, but I'd give 50-1 odds on that ever happening. Peter Angelos simply isn't going to pay to play in a older, even if refurbished, park when other towns are paying teams to play in new stadiums elsewhere.

The Reds are pretty sure they'll be in Sarasota next year, but they have until August to exercise their 2009 option. I wonder how many years of cheesesteaks I can fit into that extra duffel bag I'll be bringing next year.