Tuesday, October 28, 2008

If There's a Rocket Tie Me To It


At this point in the election cycle, I'm trying to avoid anything and everything political. I've given up trying to discern which parts of America are racist (western Pennsylvania, apparently) and which parts contain anti-American Americans (thankfully not North Carolina, I guess). So, caller ID helps us avoid the robo-calls and we don't listen to the messages left behind. The mailers are glanced at on the walk from the mailbox to the recycle bin only for the amusement value ("my opponent voted for quadzillions of dollars of new taxes", "My economic plan will create a 42 million new high-paying jobs"). TV ads are tuned out or clicked away from. Fox News and MSNBC are never EVER turned on. Bulk e-mails are treated like potential viruses (deleted w/o opening). Newspaper columns from omniscient partisans are passed over. The blogosphere w/ its frenzied hordes of overwhelmingly irrational screamers is avoided like a coiled and cornered copperhead. If anyone tries to steer the conversation to the politics, Dolberry steers the conversation to softball or the weather. (OK, I do that for any non softball/weather conversations.)

So, a lot of people ask me how I pick who to vote for. It's simple, really.

I go by the jockey's silks. In the early races on the ballot (judges, sanitation commissioner, anything to do w/ agriculture, etc.) you want to take someone wearing bright colors, yellows and oranges preferably. These candidates almost always win and pay reasonably at the windows. A good example is this weekend's Breeders Cup Sprint where Midnight Lute won (pictured above). Later down on the ballot, you want someone w/ a star or horseshoe on their vest. They may not win, but they will always finish in the money (unless they are a libertarian or gelding). In the big races, you want some sort of green ... just not green and gold ... those colors are an abomination together.

Friday, October 17, 2008

My headache's gone now ...

... thanks for all your concern.

Note to bloggers everywhere: nothing will cut down on blog traffic more than a big ol' picture of Charlie Weis.

How's was my week you ask? What's it to you? Oh, you're just being friendly? Sorry it's hard to tell on these internets.

Let's see: Recapitorily, my week looked like this:

Monday: 10/13: Capital of Ohio Day. Annual OAQPS golf tournament. Dolberry's team finished last in 2005 and 2006, but we got a ringer in 2007 and did not finish last. Unfortunately, our ringer was out of town in 2008 so we went out w/ 4 "D" players and fully expected to finish 16th of 16 this year. After 4 holes we were +2 (bogey/birdie/bogey/bogey), when Dolberry went on the best 5 shot streak of golf I have ever played.

Shot 1: Tee shot on 130 yd par 3. Nestled a 9 iron to about 3 feet.
Shot 2: Made putt as leadoff putter. Team is now only +1.
Shot 3: Drive on 360 yd par 4. 260 yards to creek. Dolberry nails a drive, right down the middle, exactly 260 yards. Picked ball out of creek. No matter. I crushed that thing. Someone else on team had put one in the fairway at the 150 marker.
Shot 4: From 150 yd, hit a 7 iron to about 18 inches from hole. Ball mark was about 3" from hole.
Shot 5: Made putt for birdie. Team at even.

I returned to earth after that stretch, but played pretty well all day. We had a shot at even par if we birdied a short par 5 at the 18th. Dolberry's drive, 3 wood, & PW had us on the fringe, but we couldn't make the miracle putt. We ended up at +1 on the day. Fun times. (Oh yeah, we finished 14th.)

Tuesday 10/14: Busy day at work. Two big briefings to mgrs. of some sort. Both went ok, not great, but not bad.

Wednesday 10/15: Over the weekend I had calculated the softball stats for our team (the glorious Law Office) and uncovered, not surprisingly, that I was in the midst of my worst softball season ever ... a pitiful 10-26 (.385). (A good rule of thumb is to divide by two to get what an equivalent baseball average would be; e.g., .385 would be like hitting .192. Hello Corey Patterson!) So, we were playing the last two games of our regular season and Dolberry got 7 ABs over the two games which went as follows: line drive single, line drive single, line drive single, line drive single, HR over outfielder's head who was playing Dolberry way too shallow, line drive single, line drive single. 7 for heavenly 7! New average ... .515. (Hello mediocre Red of your choosing!). We won both games easily: 29-3 and 29-9 (pretty much everyone on our team went 7 for 7) to finish the regular season at 10-2 and in 2nd place. Tournament starts on Monday.

Thursday 10/16: Had my performance review. Am no longer outstanding. Only exceeding expectation. Not too worried about it. They can only give a finite number of O's each year. Guess it was someone else's turn this year, which is fair; we have a lot of really good workers in our group. I might have been mildly perturbed if I hadn't gone 7 for 7 the night before, but, you see, Dolberry's self-worth is tied directly to softball performance. If I do well as a husband, dad, son, brother, worker bee, youth person thingy, friend, fantasy football player, haiku writer, or HeroClix player ... well that's just gravy.

Friday 10/17: Woke up and my throwing arm hurts like crazy. Can't lift above shoulders w/o pain. What gives, arm?!? I blame this guy.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

I have a headache ... and this isn't helping!

So Dolberry is watching the UNC - Notre Dame game while getting the Sunday School lesson ready for tomorrow. Kinda tired from this cold thing, a long week, and a busy morning. So, they go to halftime and ABC hits the national viewing audience w/ the strongest attractiveness gradient ever.
Charlie Weis being interviewed by Stacey Dales.












My head nearly exploded from the contrast.

Carry on ...

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Really good article ...

This is a really good read from a great blog. Nominally, it's about the Kansas City Chiefs, but I think there's a lot more there.

Hope all are well.

Our softball team is on a streak; after starting 0-2, we are now 8-2. No thanks to me as I've been pitiful.

Work is busy, busy, busy.

All us NC Dolberries have chest colds and hacking coughs.

Lamest.post.ever

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

DCV MLB playoff picks (Return of the Rally Monkey)


Rays over ChiSox in 5
Angels over BoSox in 4

Dodgers over Cubs in 5
Brewers over Phils in 4

Angels over Rays in 5
Brewers over Dodgers in 7

Angels over Brewers in 6

Oh, I've picked 7 straight in ESPN's "Streak for the Cash" contest ... if I can pick 18 more in a row right, I'll be leaving the bloggin' business for good, suckas!