Dolberry's Law

The order of the world is established through a system of laws. Without the controlling influence of laws, it is easy to speculate that humanity would rapidly disintegrate into a chaotic mess. Laws can originate from many sources. The first ones were divine, they've been embedded in our psyches for generations. ("Love your God. Love your neighbor.") Some come through a legislative or deliberative process and their wisdom is borne out over decades. ("Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.") Some laws might be needed for a time, but circumstances eventually relegate it to obsolescence. According to dumblaws.com, in the State of Kentucky one may not dye a duckling blue and offer it for sale unless more than six are for sale at once.

Dolberry has always liked that category of "laws" that naturally spring from human observation and persist because of their truth. The most famous of these types of laws is the rather pessimistic Murphy's Law. Another famous one is Moore's Law. I've spent the last month ruminating over another law that I think could radically reshape the way sports fans watch and communicate about their passion. In typical Dolberry modesty, I propose it be called Dolberry's Law.

Dolberry's Law reads as follows: "As a sports fan, you may only claim credit for championships that were won during your lifetime and during a period in which you actively rooted for that team."

As we move into the Final Four and Opening Day of baseball season, it is perhaps fitting that we now gently admonish the two groups that I think will be most affected by Dolberry's Law, i.e., New York Yankees fans and U of K basketball fans.

When we were in Sarasota watching the Reds spank the Yankees, I overheard the following snippet from a conversation between a group of grumpy (& prolifically profane) 20-something Yankees fans ... "talk to me when you've won 26 World Series instead of four." (Actually, the Reds have won five, but I wasn't going to interject.) According to Dolberry's Law these guys are actually only entitled to take credit for four WS wins (96, 98, 99, 00). As a 41-yr old Reds fan, I'm entitled to gloat about 3 WS wins (75, 76, 90). Four vs. three is not a huge advantage, certainly not one worth boasting about.

The biggest category of fans misleadingly padding their championship stats are Wildcat basketball fans who continuously trumpet their seven titles. Unless you were born before 1950, you are not eligible to take credit for the titles in 48, 49, 51, & 58. So UK fans of my age can legitimately take credit for only three. (U of L has two over the same period.) So the next time you run across a UK fan, watch out for them drooling chewing tobacco on your shoes and admonish them with Dolberry's Law if they try to take credit for championships won when a whole race of Americans weren't even allowed to participate in the sport.

And just so Dolberry is not accused of making the law for his own use, please realize that I'm losing credit for Saint Louis University's all-time leading 10 soccer titles between 1959 and 1973. Using the "actively rooted" section of Dolberry's Law, I would only be eligible for any titles that the glorious Billikens won that one Saturday night I rode a bus out to some crazily far away western St. Louis suburb to watch a 0-0 tie. (Actually, Dolberry was probably only eligible for maybe 10 minutes of the 90 minutes of gameplay.)

C-A-R-D-S!

Softball is underway!

We won our 1st game (18-15). I didn't do too well (0-3, but got on twice on errors) & I made one horrendous throw trying to get a guy out at home from SS on an OF relay. It's a long season.

Annual DCV Blog Bracket Challenge

Please join in. Free entry. One entry per player. Try to come up w/ a creative name ... that is more so than "Smith Entry". To the winner: a $25 Papa John's gift card.

Here are the instructions ... near as I can tell. Let me know if any problems. Enjoy.

Get in the action now:
http://games.espn.go.com/tcmen/group?groupID=38038

Game Front:
http://games.espn.go.com/tcmen/frontpage

Group: Dolberry Cherry Vanilla
Password: billikens

Vacation Review - Spring Training 2008

Hey, as always, we had a great time on our Spring Training trip. For those that weren't there, here are the highlights:

Wed: There was a little anxiety getting ready for the trip as APD was sick, having missed school on both Monday and Tuesday. By Wed, he was feeling well enough to travel and apparently to infect perfectly healthy members of the traveling party (see Dolberry, Sunday). We had an easy trip down to Sarasota when the first of the more-than-usual vacation bugs bit ... I'd booked a different Comfort Suites than I had the past straight 5 years. Oh well, not a huge deal. Drove an extra 10 miles or so, but accommodations were just as nice. Also, I walloped APD and the beautiful KMD in our annual putt-putt game by an embarassingly (to them) large margin.

Thurs: Always fun to celebrate the beautiful KMD's birthday ... walking on eggshells all day not to mention a certain number (this year, 46); or use any of the following terms: "grizzled veteran", "retirement home", or "ol' lady". We picked up El Cueto and Grandma Cueto at their usual flea-infested hotel in Tampa and headed down to Sarasota for a Reds-Yankees game. APD got a ton of autographs: Eric Davis, Edwin Encarnacion, Dusty Bakey, Jeff Keppinger, and others. The Reds scored 6 runs in the first on an EE grand slam en route to a 12-8 victory. The picture at the top is from Day 1. We then retired back to the hotel (where there was another snafu upon registering) and had a lovely dinner w/ Angela and the Twins. Fell asleep before my head hit the pillow.

Fri: El Cueto had us out of bed at 5:15a to go play golf. It was the least fun round of golf I have ever played thanks to: a) my complete inability to hit a golf ball in the proper direction and b) a course starter who had apparently taken customer service training from a WWII German cable company. Dolberry thinks only Eliot Spitzer has gotten more grief on an recent investment than my $130 outlay to get scolded by a bitter Florida retiree. The game against the Pirates was far more pleasant. The Reds burst out to a big lead again on a Brandon Phillips bomb & we got to see Johnny Cueto (the next great starting pitcher) absolutely dominate 10 Pirate hitters over three innings. Got to meet our favorite Florida State House Democrat for dinner and APD had a blast playing w/ the Twins in the hotel pool (approximate pool temp ... 73 deg ... brrrrr.)

Sat: Dolberry had a weird episode in the morning packing hotel bags. My back locked up quite painfully. I guess it was a back spasm. It did get me out of carrying bags down to the car which was nice. Apparently, taking 126 golf shots in a 3.75 hour period can wear your back out. Then, we drove down to Ft. Myers to watch the Red Sox play the Marlins. Interestingly enough, Josh Beckett came out to pitch before, he too, was felled by back spasms. The Fish won 5-2 despite a Jacoby Ellsbury HR. APD got Hanley Ramirez' autograph which was very cool. We drove back to Clearwater that night and actually checked into a hotel uneventfully. Had shrimp linguini at the Bahama Breeze which I will mention more about in the Sun section.

Sun: Around 2a, Dolberry spent his first moments of 2008 Daylight Savings time participating in the fun experience throwing up a full plate of shrimp linguini. I bet I was one of the first Americans to vomit in Daylight Savings Time this year. So, I have that going for me. Of course, Dolberry's first thoughts were not for himself, but for the the annual Phillies game Philly Cheesesteaks I was planning to enjoy in less than 10 hours. I devoted myself to a cautious but arduous set of stomach-relaxing techniques to prepare my digestive system for the meaty bliss of a La Spada's cheesesteak. After watching BP in the outfield, and catching a ball thrown up by a shagging outfielder (the other kind of "thrown up"), we settled into our seats. BTW, it was extremely cold in Florida the last two days of our visit. Disturbingly cold. Colder than it ever has been in past vacations. Cold and windy. Cold enough, that I think the Florida House should do something about it. Of course, like all good blog entries this one has a happy ending. I ate one cheesesteak (they're even better when their warmth warms you) and then devoured another one a few innings later and I didn't get sick the whole 11 hour ride back to Raleigh. Dolberry has the strength of 12 men.


Great vacation as always. Due to the people we spent it with (excepting that starter), I give it 5 stars.

2008 NL Roto Preview: New York Mets

New York Mets: The Mets had a collapse for the ages last year ... one we'll be talking about 20 years from now (assuming we haven't all purchased sports-trash-talking robots by then). On Dolberry Day last year (Sept 10), the Mets were sitting pretty at 82 - 61, six full games clear of the Phillies. Here are some of the quotes from Mets players as their ship slowly took on water.

9/10: "We couldn't have picked a better time than this to peak. This is the best baseball we've played all season." (David Wright)

9/12: "We're obviously in the driver's seat and we want to close it out as soon as we can and focus on the postseason." (Shawn Green)

9/16: "How many errors did we make? Five? Six? You have to play defense, too. They deserved to beat us." (Carlos Beltran)

9/17: "That's not how we play the game. Hopefully we'll get out of it -- the sooner the better." (Omar Minaya)

9/18: "Anybody with half a brain would say we've been horrible." (Tom Glavine)

9/20: "Things are not going our way. It seems like every team comes back on us real easy." (Carlos Beltran)

9/24: "It's embarrassing with the season on the line to go out there and get embarrassed on your own home field." (David Wright)

9/26: "We all feel terrible for ourselves as a team right now that we can't really close the deal." (Willie Randolph)

9/28: "I think it's embarrassing. It's pretty pathetic that we have this division within our grasp with seven home games and we can't find a way to win one of them. It's a bad feeling." (David Wright)

9/30: "The harder we pushed, the worse it got." (Billy Wagner)

The Mets rank 30th on my list of favorite MLB teams, so I can't say I didn't enjoy reliving that experience. Anyway, here's what they look like this year.

C: Mike Schneider / Ramon Castro - Pass on Schneider. Castro is an O'Jimmie and the better fantasy player but he seems to be best suited for about 200-250 ABs per season. We should probably keep him w/ his bargain salary ($1).

1B: Carlos Delgado - He was banged up all last year and hits stats nosedived. Would look like a bounceback candidate but his already getting MRI's down in Florida. Likely pass. AVAIL.

2B: Luis Castillo - 32 years old w/ fading stats over the past 2-3 years. Best case scenario would appear to be above average AVG/OBP & 20 SB. AVAIL.

SS: Jose Reyes - Roto MVP runner-up. (.280/.354/12/57/78) Didn't do anything other then steal bags after coming to the O'Jimmies at the all-start break, but contributed to our 2nd place finish (good and bad). Only 24, expect a better AVG/OBP/HRs in 2008 w/ SBs down slightly (50-60). O'JIMMIES keep despite hefty salary.

3B: David Wright - Great player. Seems like he's been on the Wonderboys since he was 12 years old. WOND keep.

LF: Moises Alou - One of the few remaining MLB'ers older than Dolberry. Solid year last year, but 41-yr old quad muscles limited him to just 320 ABs. AVAIL.

CF: Carlos Beltran - One of the more up & down rotisserie superstars. Was a 5-category player last year, but knee surgery in offseason could reduce him to 4 cats. FOWL doubtful keep?

RF: Ryan Church - 29 yrs old. Sustained a Grade 2 concussion in a spectacular collision yesterday. Assuming he recovers from that quickly, he looks to get about 400-500 ABs as Mets primary RF. Solid Roto OF. MOJO keeper.

SP1: Johan Santana - His stats over the last 4 years can cause a Roto managers pulse to quicken. Moving to a very good pitchers park & plays on a team that should win 85-90 games. May set a record for auction price for a starting pitcher. $45 is not out of the question. Hopefully will have a bad spring to scare some NL'ers off. AVAIL.

SP2: Pedro Martinez - Pedro was one of the few Mets that performed well last September, going 3-1 w/ 32Ks in 28IP w/ a 2.57. The only downside was that he was more hittable than he's ever been (33 hits in those 28 IP). I'm chalking that up to small sample size and expect him to have a decent year ... IF his shoulder holds up. Doubtful SQZZ keeper.

SP3: John Maine - Very good, mostly overlooked SP. BARF keeper.

SP4: Oliver Perez - Maybe the least predictable pitcher in the game. Only 26, here are his WHIP in his six MLB seasons (2002-2007): 1.32, 1.63, 1.15, 1.67, 1.76, 1.31. High risk/reward here. Is in his contract year, if you are the cynical type. AVAIL?

SP5: El Duque or Mike Pelfrey - El Duque has only pitched over 200 IP once in his career (1999). He's claiming to be 39, but I'm guessing he's probably not counting years from the 1960s. Having foot issues this spring. Likely SQZZ keeper. Pelfrey is a one-time prospect who had a BB:K ratio near 1 last year. Only 23 but has a long way to go before he's a pitcher worth having on your roto roster. AVAIL.

CLS: Billy Wagner - Not the best closer in the NL like he was from 2001-2005, but he's still in the Top 5. JUST keep?

Alt CLS: Aaron Heilman, Duaner Sanchez: If Heilman compiled the stats he has over the past 3 years on a team that didn't have a closer like Wagner, he'd have been crowned a "closer" and his salary would be about 10x higher than his current setup guy salary. Sanchez will have to show he's over shoulder surgery in Spring Training. AH may be a JUST keeper.

Bench: Damion Easley, Olmedo Saenz, Brady Clark, Endy Chavez: Easley and Saenz can both really torment a portsider. Clark's an OK 4th-5th OF. Chavez is a one-category player (AVG). Probably pass on all these guys, but one of them may get some serious playing time if Delgado is down for a large chunk of the season.

Prospects: Most of them were traded for Johan Santana. Best prospect is Fernando Martinez, but he's only 19 and probably not worth a reserve pick this year.

Injured: The Mets have a whole bunch of injured players right now. Wright, Reyes, and Alou are the only starting lineup guys that are healthy right now. A situation to be monitored.

Dolberry's Musings on the Mets: I do not like the Mets. This antipathy dates back to my days at SLU when I got caught up in that era's tempestuous Mets - Cardinals rivalry. There are too many Mets fans on my various softball teams. This fall I'm capping it at two. And they have to sit at the end of the bench. Out of earshot, if that's even possible for a Mets fan.

What it means for the O'Jimmies: We had too many Mets last year (Glavine, Reyes, Castro, Conine, & Feliciano). Not surprisingly when the Mets tanked in September ... so did the O'Jimmies ... dropping from 1st to 2nd in the last week of the season. I think we should cap them at two this year (Reyes & Castro). Johan would be nice, but he'll be too expensive.